Sex before marriage?

hahahahaha thats actually hilarious

 

Well I was making a joke, but now that you bring it up, perhaps that is the reason divorce rates are skyrocketing.

 

I think not knowing how to cook is a bad. Personally I think bother men and women should know how to cook. I guess it is just a self sustaining thing in my mind.

 

So it has nothing to do with divorce being more socially acceptible, people jumping into marriage too quickly, commitment issues, the fact that times are very stressful, the existence of more resources for abused women, or the understanding that if it is handled well, it doesn't harm children?

 

sex before magic eh? I usually do magic after sex. A disappearing act!!

haha, not really but couldn't help myself

 

Lmao.

 

Didn't tshirthell.com shut down? Makes me sad...I really want that shirt.

Edit: It DIDN'T shut down! I was misinformed and am buying that shirt as we speak. My parents will be horrified.

 

brb.

moving to spain.

 

I have no desire for marriage. Why do I need someone else to tell me that it is ok to live with (and sleep with) the person I love? Seems silly.

 

That's the most logical thing I've heard all day.

 

Quoted for truth

 

Some people want commitment, I guess.

 

I can be totally commited withouth a local judge/holy person/ship's captian telling me so.

 

Marriage is a legal contract. It attempts to ensure that if the commitment terminates, both parties (and any children resulting from the union) leave wit a fair share of the common assets or liabilities.

Like it or not, there is a material side to marriage (and its dissolution), and absent such a contract, the partners don't always get treated fairly. This is a major part of why those in the gay/lesbian community currently denied entry into marriage are fighting so hard to secure those rights. Not only does the contract protect the partners from each other, it also places contractual obligations on government and outside parties - insurance, survivor benefits, medical proxy decisions, and much more.

On the religious side, marriage also is a covenant with whatever higher power you may believe in. Obviously, what that means depends on the beliefs of the participants. Hopefully, their beliefs are compatible in that regard, but that should not be taken for granted.

The judge/holy person/ship's captain serves to symbolically represent those other parties who also have a stake in the marriage covenant.

 

There is also a bond that can grow between a married people that is something very very special. I don't know that it doesn't grow between non-married people that live together forever. But, I would always know in the back of my mind, that that person could leave at anytime, and that would in some ways bother me. Not that married people don't leave...but there is some consequence.

I am happily married though, and that is truely a rare thing anymore. Finding the right person is the key, wether you get married or not.

I know that there is also a health insurance issue, that comes into some realtionships. Some places will only acknowledge a married couple for coverage. Some place do however cover gay/lesbian partners and cover them, even though they aren't married. I don't really think that is fair to the straight people that live together, but since marriage isn't legal for the ga/ylesbian couples it gets complicated.

 

I have a friend who has been living with her boyfriend for almost ten years, and she has him on her health insurance as a domestic partner. I'm not sure exactly how that works, and I'm assuming you would have to have lived together for a good chunk of time, but it's possible for heterosexual people to cover a domestic partner too, I guess.

 

Not every company allows for domestic partner health coverage. Anyway, we have kinda gotten off subject. We are now debating marriage not sex before marriage.

 

That's because there is no debate in the sex before marriage department. It's an arbitrary standard much like the drinking age.

 

The divorce rate is over fifty percent. So satistically, more often than not one person will leave the other in a marriage. A piece of paper doesn't stop someone from leaving. I my opinion, you either are commited to someone or you're not. A wedding doesn't have any effect on that.

 

I agree. My fiance and I discussed whether or not we wanted to get married, and the deciding factor when we decided to do it was that, for us, it was a symbol of our commitment to each other. It's not other people telling us we have the right to be together or anything like that...it's us telling each other that we care about each other enough to want to belong to each other. That sounds weird...but it's hard to explain.

Anyway, back to the whole waiting for sex to get married thing...my mom's big argument for why a person should wait til marriage to do the deed is the old "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" argument.

Personally, I don't agree with that, but I'm sure there are people out there who do. Aside from my mom, of course.

 

I always hated that saying. If you're in a long term relationship, then you aren't getting anything for free. I guessing that if they're having sex, then both sides have put money, time and energy into that relationship.

Though it is kinda funny that that saying is the only time you could compare a girl to a cow and it's not considered an insult.

 

Even if you don't wait for marriage...there are some things to wait for
1.) Trust
2.) Respect
3.) A clean STD screen for both parties
4.) Open discussion and use of contraception
5.) Open discussion of what would happen should said contraception fail
6.) Preparedness to deal with the potential consequences including STD's, Pregnancy, and whatever spiritual or emotional consequences may happen

 

Those are excellent ideas.

Although there is the occasional drunken night of passion, which throws caution to the wind. I had a teacher once who would tell us,
"I hope you were conceived, unplanned, in the back of a '64 ford. Thus making you a shiftless character."

 

That is cool. However, a drunken night of passion is also a good way to get herpes

 

And babies, and embarrising stories, and walks of shame.