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  1. Cat Cherry
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    Cat Cherry Member

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    Share Your Back-Cover Blurb

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Cat Cherry, Apr 27, 2016.

    Inspired by this thread and this thread, I thought it might be nice to make a space for workshopping back-cover/Amazon blurbs. Summarizing your story in a way that piques the reader's interest without spoiling the plot is mad difficult! Ergo, thread. Post your blurb, help other authors improve theirs, and/or give feedback about whether or not others' blurbs would convince you to open the front covers of their books (or, even better, your wallet).

    It's probably best to write blurbs for works that are finished or almost finished, since writing a blurb before the book is nearly done will likely mean that you just have to rewrite that dratted blurb later. However, the only real rule here is that these should be in the 100-to-150-word range. I've not only seen this range mentioned in advice columns, I've also seen this in almost all of the actual Amazon blurbs that I examined as I was preparing my own blurb.

    To start with, here's mine, which squeeeeeeeaks in at 149 words, and no, you don't want to know how much time it took me to edit this down to that length:

    Molly Darling is a steamy coming-of-age novel about sex and reconciliation.

    Foul-mouthed, precocious eighteen-year-old Molly Denning is suffering through her last semester of senior year the same way she’s handled the rest of high school. She aces her classes and practices piano during the day, hooks up with a string of lackluster guys at night, and hopes that her negligent father will continue to ignore her escapades until she graduates.

    Then Molly’s equally rebellious brother starts dating the wild Chloe Allman, Molly’s perfect partner in crime. Chloe introduces Molly to the first guy whose sexual prowess and genuine interest in Molly’s life might be enough to cut through Molly’s tough-girl persona. However, when a series of prom-night disasters sends Chloe to the emergency room and forces Molly’s father to confront the reckless children he’s barely bothered to raise, Molly—along with everyone she loves—has to grow up fast.​
     
  2. Nicolle Evans
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    Nicolle Evans Member

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    I like your blurb - I would pick it up and read it.

    In response to my own blurb; I don't have one. I haven't really considered it before and yet, here I am, sitting on an idea for a trilogy and I've never once thought about a blurb.

    I might need to consider writing one. ;)
     
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  3. NiallRoach
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    NiallRoach Contributing Member

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    As a blurb, I think it's solid. Taste wise, I wouldn't pick it up, but I'm so not your audience that it doesn't matter.
     
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  4. sprirj
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    sprirj Contributing Member

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    I've had a go at editing. I'm not your target audience at all. But I think I'd be more likely to pick this up. The disaster is more vague, prom night sounded a bit too niche for me. I hope it helps, I'm not saying what you had wasn't good, I just wanted to test my editing ability.
     
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  5. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Here's mine. I'm not crazy about it but I'm not sure what else to say. At this point I'm only 4 chapters into the novella.

    My only problem is what is the conflict and goal? Right now there doesn't seem to be much conflict. Molly seems to be doing exactly what she wants. There is a hint of something in her not letting her guard down with the new boy. But it feels like an effect without a cause. Also the last line seems to shift the pov - her father steps in but how does this effect Molly? Does she finally get a dad or much needed but unwanted discipline? Does it throw her budding romance into jeopardy?
     
  6. Lifeline
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    Lifeline The Dark - not in Wonderland Supporter Contributor

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    @peachalulu : This sounds really intriguing - even for me who is very selective what to pick up :) So you'd better make it good, yay?
     
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  7. sprirj
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    sprirj Contributing Member

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    Ive got about four or five blurbs for the same book. This is my shortest.

    "They've got apps for everything. No need for human contact."

    I might need to expand on it, but maybe it would go on the front?
     
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  8. ToeKneeBlack
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    ToeKneeBlack Contributing Member Contributor

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    A girl with a super-human talent,
    A boy with a gift for invention,
    And an evil that threatens us all!

    In 2207, June Anderson stands between humanity and its doom. When a series of break-ins threatens her family, she takes on the persona of the "Stormbringer".

    Armed with the power to create portals and assisted by a child prodigy, June has to push herself beyond her limits in an effort to save her family - and the world - from a threat greater than she could ever imagine.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2016
  9. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I'd bring out her personality a bit more and her age. Also maybe a hint of why she uses a persona instead of just hunting down the criminals as herself.
     
  10. ToeKneeBlack
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    ToeKneeBlack Contributing Member Contributor

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    Is this an improvement?

    A girl with a super-human talent,
    A boy with a gift for invention,
    And an evil that threatens us all!

    In 2207, twelve-year-old June Anderson stands between humanity and its doom. When a series of break-ins threatens her family, she takes on the persona of the "Stormbringer" in an attempt to impress her younger brother.

    Armed with the power to create portals and assisted by a child prodigy, June has to push herself beyond her limits in an effort to save her loved ones - and the world - from a threat greater than she could ever imagine.
     
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  11. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Yes, much clearer!
     
  12. ddavidv
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    ddavidv Contributing Member

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    This is a blurb for a book that is an unusual genre and has had trouble finding an audience. I'd welcome opinions.

    Chris Newell's father has just died and he feels nothing--no sadness, anger or remorse--and it gnaws at him. He shares his confusion with his girlfriend Lauren who urges him to begin a quest to find out why. As a consequence Chris meets Annie, a mesmerizing female motorcycle mechanic who claims she can answer his questions about the afterlife...but with strict conditions. A scowling watchful neighbor and a mysteriously absent love interest deter Chris from pursuing a growing attraction for Annie while he struggles to save his budding romance with Lauren.

    As relationships begin to implode Annie becomes convinced Chris is suppressing a memory; one so traumatic that it is hampering his ability to give himself fully to another. A journey cloaked in secrecy leads Chris to a mystical place where at last he can confront the unknown demon controlling his life...and also Annie's.
     
  13. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    You have the same problem I do, a complicated story. I don't have an answer but I can tell you you need to really shorten this. Try to pull out the themes rather than the plot.

    Read book blurbs of stories you've read to get ideas, that's what I'm doing. I can see my problem though I've not solved it yet.
     
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  14. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    I dunno. If I read that I'd feel like it was a little lame and too teeny. Maybe I'm just not your audience? Or maybe it is one of those books I would read, and enjoy grudgingly thinking it could be more adult and thoughtful. I don't know. Really, all I can say is by that alone I'm not appealed to.
     
  15. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    @peachalulu and @Cat Cherry - I would read both of your books. Both those blurbs look so cool!

    The only thing that stumped me momentarily is Peach's use of "usual" - "An usual..." sounds weird and it immediately makes me think I might have read "Unusual" rather. Is the use of "usual" a deliberate choice that means something?
     
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  16. Oscar Leigh
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    Oscar Leigh Contributing Member

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    Well spotted. It does look like it must be misspelled. What an UNUSUAL mistake. :D
     
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  17. NiallRoach
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    NiallRoach Contributing Member

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    Here we go:
    16 year old Hannah Davies has a secret: She's falling for Czeslawa, a student much younger and living under the weight of her continental origins. The feeling's mutual.
    At the same time, she's suffocating beneath the affections of her older boyfriend, Jack, whose generosity comes with a price.
    As the girls' relationship heats up, the fear of being found out and becoming a pariah grows over Hannah's head until she snaps and finds herself regretting trusting anyone.
    This saturnine tragedy, set in modern England's knuckle of Burton upon Trent, charts Hannah's plunge into the dark side of sexuality.
     
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  18. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    *Face palm* - it's unusual.
    My most hated typo because it's never caught by spellcheck. Good reminder that I need to stop ( can you believe I did it again and typed spot - :rolleyes: ) counting on it.
     
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  19. ToeKneeBlack
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    ToeKneeBlack Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's aimed at children aged 12+, but it doesn't have an ending that's all gumdrops and ice-cream. There's plenty of dark moments and the sample on the back of the book (not included here) sees June facing off against a gunman and his attack dog.

    But no one book can please everybody, so I won't try to change your mind.
     
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  20. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Lool. That's unfortunate :supergrin:Good you posted it here then! However, if it should read, "An unusual, uneasy friendship..." - the repetition of un- doesn't sound all that pleasant. Just an aesthetic thing though that could appeal or not depending on taste, so feel free to ignore. However, personally, I don't like the sound - it doesn't flow, particularly because they're both words with 3 syllables (that's quite a few, as well as that they have the same number of syllables - it sort of ruins the rhythm).
     
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  21. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    This is bizarre. Not only did the forum duplicate posts, it managed to edit both my posts at the same time.

    Let's see what happens if I delete one.

    Weird, it let me delete one without changing the other, but I edit/deleted the second one, not the first one. :bigconfused:
     
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  22. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I deleted the one you edited as "deleted duplicate" - hope I haven't deleted anything I shouldn't have?
     
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  23. ToeKneeBlack
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    ToeKneeBlack Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't want to hog the thread, but here's the blurb from my second book:

    A boy on a mission,
    A girl with a broken dream,
    And a gang from another world!

    After his adventure with the Stormbringer, Boris Petrov - the Teslageist - continues the search for his father. To accomplish his mission he needs the help of the richest man on the planet.

    But with new allies come new enemies, as the evil Dr Douglas forms a pact with a new swarm of villains.


    As with the last one, I'll insert the words "twelve-year-old" before the protagonist's name.
     
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  24. izzybot
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    izzybot Human Disaster Contributor

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    <snipped>
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
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  25. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    I don't have one really as of yet, mainly because I am bad at this type of thing. But I will give it my best shot (high and to the right of course cause the bloody target didn't move).:supergrin:

    What happens when you mix a turncoat officer, an reptilian Captain, and a being of questionable profession? Total chaos, in an orderly fashion. Whether it be by the muzzle of a gun, or by the blade of a sword. There is no shortage of harsh politics, or humor as they batter their common enemy; The Confederation. The alliance is rocky at first, but slowly cements itself into a growing concern for the Confederation. From strategically plotting each move aboard a massive warship, to dealing with inner demons and the occasional inebriation. Join the three as they take on the Sol system with extreme prejudice, the only one between them and their objective Terra is the Martian Colonials. Will they be able to pass by Mars, or will they be forced to fight their way to Terra? With boots and blood, a war is heating up. The Confederations day of reckoning is coming, and the Pale horse is coming to bare down on them...
     
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