1. MatrixGravity
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    MatrixGravity Senior Member

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    Should I be proud of myself?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MatrixGravity, Jul 9, 2012.

    A friend of mine told me this earlier today and I am wondering if this is a good thing and whether or not it's something to be proud of. He said,


    "For a 19 year old, You are a very intelligent person simply because of the manner in which you communicate and the manner in which you have the ability to perceive yourself and perceive others, you are aware of things and consider things the average person does not. I am willing to bet you're eccentric and passionate about does interest you. You are very emotional, very thoughtful, very very concerned and you are very driven, you really are you just haven't found your place yet... you have desires and goals you just haven't found your place yet... who stands in the mirror and finds sadness because they can't find something great to do or a way to accomplish greatness? A very passionate and driven person, that's who. "

    Is this considered a good thing? Is it right to feel proud about this? What does this truly say about me as a person for my age?
     
  2. James Berkley
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    James Berkley Banned

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    that someone stole one of the lines i use on young liberal arts students.


    ok now serious.
    take it however you want.
    their are a lot of driven people out their. many on wall street or in goverment. many in other feilds.

    i whould say motivation and ambition are good things.
     
  3. MatrixGravity
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    MatrixGravity Senior Member

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    My age? 19?
     
  4. James Berkley
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    James Berkley Banned

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    i know you posted your age in the opening post
     
  5. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    The very fact that you would ask this tells me your friend's statement means little. If these are the sort of occurrences you rely on for validation, you're not doing what you should be at 19.

    I've seen numerous 'driven' and 'passionate' people go nowhere and people with much less go far. There's other qualities much more subtle that will get a person much further.

    At your age, the best thing you can do for yourself is to have infinite belief in your potential but skepticism as to who you are currently; your current beliefs, expectations, abilities, relationships. Maybe these things are worth something, maybe they will be one day, or maybe they need improvement. You won't know now and you may never know. All you can do is keep trying and never stop learning.

    Relying on empty statements like the one above to stroke your ego is what I like to call masturbatory and the precursor to stagnation.

    I am a firm belief in self belief, but self belief is between you and yourself and no one else. Should you be proud of yourself for being you? Of course. But such a wishy washy compliment from a friend is not a good way to build self esteem. If ten different people all said the same thing about you, you might be able to use those comments as proof that you are perceived a certain way, but even this imo does not constitute pride.
     
  6. killbill
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    killbill Contributing Member

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    This sounds like a nice way of saying you are not a realistic person, one who bask in the ego that you are capable of doing great things but doesn't realize greatness may lie in doing simple acts of kindness, like say, giving your mother a rest from the daily chores for a day.
     
  7. MatrixGravity
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    MatrixGravity Senior Member

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    I knew I shouldn't have posted this on this forum. Big mistake..
     
  8. SamTurtle
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    SamTurtle New Member

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    Being a driven and passionate person is something that you can be proud of. Being emotional also has it's positives, but stay wary, because emotions like to deceive you. That actually loops in to what your friend said towards the end: "Who stands in the mirror and finds sadness because they can't find something great to do or a way to accomplish greatness?" For all you know, you certainly might have accomplished many great things. Perhaps your emotions and your views on yourself limit you to seeing the positive you have within?
    I'm now very interested in how you do communicate with others, seeing as your friend also emphasized that. He certainly seems to think you are very unique, which is also a good thing, at least in the way he conveys it.
    As for the "you haven't found your place yet" bit - that notion really is never quite easy to answer. Many, many people struggle with it, whether they are young or old. That's not to say that you'll never find your place and you'll be forever doomed to questioning your motives. It's just a strange and conflicting process that will take time.
    All in all, your friend had quite a bit to say about you. But I'd personally take it as a positive yet refrained comment on your personality. It sounds like he/she is trying to maybe motivate/inspire/encourage you on with your dreams and ambitions. Whether you're 19 or 64, it would still hold the same weight, I think.
    Also, never take it as a bad thing that you're asking whether or not your friend's comment has a positive meaning. In my opinion, it's way better to question such things than to take them for what they seem to be and let it feed your arrogance.
     
  9. shadowwalker
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    shadowwalker Contributing Member Contributor

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    Frankly, it sounds more like something you get on those psychic/horoscope sites. Don't ever rely on what other people tell you about your qualities. Decide for yourself if your life and actions are something to be proud of.
     
  10. MatrixGravity
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    MatrixGravity Senior Member

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    No, it's actually a response I received on a Christian forum from somebody... Here is the thread if you're interested.

    http://www.christianforums.com/t7670765/
     
  11. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Looking that forum over I personally can't honestly say if you should be 'proud', or if you are if it is right to be 'proud' for you personally.

    We are from very different worlds, and clearly (since you pointed to a Christian forum) very different philosophies. If you are proud: I don't consider being proud necessarily a bad thing, not unless it is mixed with arrogance. If you are happy and proud of who you are, be proud and happy with who you are. Since you are the original poster in that thread though, and that original post is pretty negative, I would say you've just found comfort in that other post, not exactly pride.

    If you don't think god has done much for you, the fact you are asking this over the internet to people you don't know shows you have some level of privilege over other people of the world. Be thankful for that, and remember: everyone gets down once and a while.
     
  12. shadowwalker
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    shadowwalker Contributing Member Contributor

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    Nonetheless, it doesn't really sound like someone who knows you - "I am willing to bet you're..." You can't rely on what others tell you, particularly when you asking for someone to contradict your negative self-statements, so I can only repeat - look at your life and actions honestly and then decide if it's something to be proud of or not. And any point when you're feeling sorry for yourself is not the time to do that, unless you give yourself a kick in the pants and say "It's not true - I can do this or that...".

    Personally, I think God gave everyone some talent - it may not be in the area one wants it, but we all have something. We just have to find it.
     
  13. Ashleigh
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    Ashleigh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Since when was it up to someone else to define an individual? They're only providing one perspective. It's normal to feel good about a compliment, but that's all it is. If you ask me, it was just a melodramatic way of saying you haven't grown up and figured yourself out yet. My advice is that you stop looking to other people -especially strangers- to stroke your ego. Imagine if they'd said something damaging: would you believe every word of that too? Sounds like you've got a fragile ego. Don't give people the power to build you up and knock you down like that, especially when they don't have anything to actually base it on. If you do, you're going to have a bad time.

    As for your question on the forum, I have two things to say:

    A) You're 19, you're supposed to be depressed.
    B) People aren't awarded skills from birth, they develop them. If you want to be really skilled at something (like writing for instance, which I'm assuming you're drawn towards by your presence on the forum) then work on that daily so you can improve and become skilled. Natural talent is useless if you don't work at it.
     
  14. Mackers
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    Mackers Contributing Member

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    me me me me me me me me me me me me...That's all I got
     

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