1. freerpg
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    freerpg New Member

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    so i have alot of a story but

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by freerpg, Mar 22, 2013.

    the problem I have at this point is I know the story I want to tell, but for the life of me I can't make it sound interesting.
    I start writing, get half a page through read back and think to myself "this is so damn boring."
    the issue I have is trying to tell my audience a little science (well its actually science concept) without sounding like that weird chemistry teacher who constantly read the text in a monotone voice. The only reason I am not going to put up the science in the post is as I stated you would probably be bored in 2 seconds.
    can anyone give me an idea on a better way to do this?
     
  2. rhduke
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    rhduke Contributing Member Reviewer

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    This happens to me also from time to time. I always try to ask myself: what would make this scene interesting to me? So I keep imagining the scene in my head until it makes me laugh/sad/happy/intrigued or whatever it is I want from the scene. Then I write the scene as I imagine it again.

    This is a quote from Robert Frost: “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”
     
  3. freerpg
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    freerpg New Member

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    ok how to make science fun?
    I start out with a thought
    “the world is dark these days. Gone are the rich forests, the fun days of old. War machines wander the lands protecting pockets of farmland. This was never my intention. It was to unite not divide them. My return may not be as I thought but my return will happen. I am the start of this. My brothers were the follow up. My family is at fault. We should have never gone so far so quick.”

    I am thinking to leave out the science but then it also makes the story flowin my opinion. it is based around 3 brothers
    1 guy called phil (like me for some unknown reason lol) builds a simple device that makes energy.... well it multiplies energy
    his 2nd eldest brother is brought on board and they make an upright robot. the first that needs no power cables and as such is completely free to work anywhere, ware houses etc
    the oldest brother see this as a great idea for fun and starts modifying it with weapons. he then sells a prototype and the first war machine is built

    the issue is do I include the science or leave it out? if I include it what would be a good way to do so?
     
  4. Nee
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    Nee Contributing Member

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    So you are having difficulty integrating your science (research material) into your story. Did the story come out from the scientific concept? Did you think of the story as you thought up the science? It is very difficult push science into a story, or squeeze a story into some science. Because your characters and the science need to grow into the story together.
     
  5. freerpg
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    freerpg New Member

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    yeah the science is just a made up thing... well I don't think it works... well some of it is true but some not....
    the idea starts at tell-uric currents (a real phenomenon) to create power
    it then uses a 3d capacitor (a work of fiction... but it may work dunno haven't tested one yet lol) to multiply energy.
    the reason I think the science is important is I want to purvey the 3 brothers in a certain light first. show what each does etc. I think that will help to show how events unfolded while the main character was away
     
  6. Nee
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    Nee Contributing Member

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    So are you saying that your story is about three brothers who invent a new energy source?
     
  7. freerpg
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    freerpg New Member

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    one invents the energy source, one creates a walking mech for innocent purposes and the third uses the mech for war.
    so its a follow on from one to the next
     
  8. Nee
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    Nee Contributing Member

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    You should structure the story in three parts--one for each brother. Then you only need reveal only what you must, at the moment at which you must reveal the mechanical or whatever device as it applies within that brother's story.
     
  9. killbill
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    killbill Contributing Member

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    where the mind is without fear...
    Include only what the readers need to know in a particular scene/chapter. Let the scientific explanations be a part of scenes where character development(s), actions etc. are taking place.
     
  10. Phoenix Hikari
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    Phoenix Hikari Contributing Member

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    Why would you explain to the reader the world you have created? There's a much better way to do that, get a character, your MC preferably and take them on their journey through this world. The reader will discover the relevant information along with this character.
    Trying to explain science? Instead of the boring prose, get a character to explain it in interesting dialogue with (an)other character(s).
    Got something mysterious you want to hint about? Make a character wonder about it, make them doubt or be suspicious of it and the reader will suspect it as well.
    Don't get busy with prose at an opening of a story, this will make the reader bored and probably decide to never read for you again. Start with conflict, introduce a situation and let the world show the reader what it is made of instead of you pouring the whole milk bottle on their heads. =)

    This is boring, you don't have to explain the whole story in the first paragraph and as for the brothers and their science, isn't it relevant to the story? How do you plan to create conflict if you are going to take the science part out of it?Wouldn't that effect the plot?
    You don't have to lay out what the three brothers do/did to create war or robots or whatever. Wouldn't it be much more interesting if the reader was to become so involved in that war only later to discover that it was caused by one of the brothers?

    Shock, action, plausible hints, possible choices, character development and other many things are what make a story interesting. What you need is not a change of voice, you need to know when to give a hint and when to drop information.
     
  11. freerpg
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    freerpg New Member

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    great input. will see what I can do
     

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