Just as the title says. I tend to make these rants of mine long (as you may know) and so I'll try to be brief. I came up with this idea of several characters finding a magical jewel and having to go on the run from the people who want it and the characters having to learn what to do with it and discovering its origins and the characters learning about each other and themselves and getting over their problems and how they found themselves in this situation and that it was all because they were alone and didn't know how to connect with people because they were abandoned or let down by their families in their childhoods and now they're forced to get along and deal with them because of this one jewel that's bringing them together and now they have to be forced to get along and deal with their issues because if they do they'll get to reap the rewards of what the jewel represents (a better life, money, family) and if they don't they'll have to go back to where they started which was alone and unhappy and the jewel and everything it means will go on without them and since they're the ones who found it they want to see where it takes them and because it's finally gave meaning to their lives and a source of happiness (which is what it represents and is what they want) they want to go with the jewel and see where it takes them and not leave it. That's the gist of the story. It's five books I've imagined it to be and for the last three years I've been playing scenarios and scenes in my head of how I want these characters to interact and what the jewel means, what its history is, and why these people that are the antagonists want it, and I know each arc of the main characters and the story arcs of each book until its satisfying conclusion. My problem is I don't know how I feel can do it. Maybe I already have it in me and I just don't the confidence. I don't know. The story is fantasy, obviously, the characters are all pretty typical and different from each other. The main theme is family among friends and since without each other they won't have any they don't want to be away from each other or alone. Whenever I think I'm about to write out the story and that "this is it, finally" I always write out the fourteen main characters that I want to write about and who I feel will drive the story. I don't know why I don't feel comfortable writing them out right now but maybe it's because they're so personal to me and I've never really talked about it with anyone I feel comfortable letting someone else know about them in fear of being judged or something, I don't know. All of the characters have this "base" or "foundation" that they start from and early on they jump from this foundation and head into their new lives when the jewel appears and they have to start confronting their problems because the jewel forces these vastly different and unstable and dysfunctional characters to be together and there's a lot of heart-to-heart. I feel there's going to be a lot of episodes and that it's not just going to be "defeat the dragon" and then the story is over. There's of course a big arc like that in each book because there has to be something bigger going on I feel to discovering the history of the jewel but I want it to be slow and the characters and the audience/readers to get to know each other first. I said I was going to make this short. I've told you in as little as I could the majority of what this story is. I guess I just don't know what to do other than to write. Maybe I could outline? Like I'm really into Mad Men and kind of want my story to be like that where it's just the characters and their nuances and quirks being what drives the story and not really anything big like a murder-detective series. Like thirteen episodes or something and at then end all the characters have a conclusion to their arcs and the story arc has an ending to and then those will lead to the next season/book/arc. I have all of that figured out. I don't want to keep rambling. I'm sure someone has been in this same situation. I need help. Someone to tell me I can do it. I don't know. Maybe some of you have read what I have in the workshop (God, that piece of crap!) and that's really hurting my confidence too because it's not good enough. I don't know. I just don't know. I need encouraging words. I know the story. If I could spill it out of my head it would make sense but when it's on paper it's never right. I hate it. I'm a perfectionist. I want it to be right. I want i to be like in my head. Please. Help make my dream of writing this story come true.