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  1. King Arthur
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    King Arthur Banned

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    Spanking is abuse

    Discussion in 'Debate Room' started by King Arthur, Jun 23, 2016.

    Do you think spanking a child is abuse?

    I think it's abuse. Saying it's "a little smack on the bum-bum" doesn't make it any less violent. We don't call a gunshot to the head "a little hole-hole boo-boo in the brain-brain".
    I really think we should avoid using terms meant to "soften" tha act.
    If we called circumscision "penis-mutilation" I doubt many people would do it. Branding spanking as abuse could perhaps stop it from happening?

    P.S: Yes, I'm also against circumscision and vaginal mutilation. But that's for amother thread.
     
  2. X Equestris
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    X Equestris Contributing Member Contributor

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    Your comparison between spanking and shooting someone in the head is way, way off. There's no way anyone can call getting shot in the head "little", unless you're some sort of immortal who shrugs off wounds. By contrast, spanking as it was applied to me was very much a little thing, and a very effective punishment in the rare situations it was applied in. It may not be that way for all children, and parents should modify the types of discipline they employ accordingly.
     
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  3. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I think there's quite a clear gap between a smack on the butt and shooting someone in the head. The former just leaves the person aching for a while. The latter leaves the person dead.

    I'll form a deeper post later on, but here's what I've learned growing up:

    - Parents should apply and modify punishment for each individual children. One may not listen until he/she is spanked, for instance.

    - The punishment should fit the crime. For me, spanking should only be as a last resort after the child had been told numerous times how to behave and he/she is willfully disobeying.
     
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  4. Adenosine Triphosphate
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    Adenosine Triphosphate Old Scratch Contributor

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    At best, the evidence for those methods is mixed, with heavy use appearing rather negative. If I'm being generous, I may imagine some situational, carefully-calculated level of corporal punishment that would prove superior to other forms of discipline, but I think even that would provide little reason to lift the "hitting people is wrong" rule. It is illegal for a man to lightly strike his girlfriend, who is equal in the eyes of the law, but it is also illegal to do that to the residents of a mental hospital, despite the fact that they lose some other rights and freedoms. Why should we toss aside such a fundamental value in the case of children?

    EDIT: To the extent that this is even relevant: I was spanked as a child. I don't think it hurt me too severely, in and of itself, but I also don't think it gave me any magical sense of respect or morality. It made me somewhat more scared to break the rules when I was younger, and then it made me somewhat more rebellious when my parents decided to stop. This came partly from residual anger, but my self-esteem also increased immediately when the (metaphorical) stick was removed, which is hardly beneficial for obedience. In that, you reach a problem with authoritarian parenting in general: the conflict between parent and child will inevitably shift toward the latter, either before or upon legal adulthood, and then you must hope that you have taught them to conduct themselves appropriately without those measures.

    On the other hand, my own efforts to justify the practice of spanking caused me a great deal of discomfort, because I was forced to use the "children are inferior" rationale, in lieu of great scientific support. And some of those childhood deficits are likely to remain with me permanently, given my disorder, which led me to conclude that I permanently deserved to get my ass whooped. I would go so far as to say that every defensive, seemingly self-righteous post I have made about children or teenagers ultimately came from me hating myself because of my membership in those groups.

    Of course, some have argued that I should be specially exempt from corporal punishment, given said disorder, but that makes little sense: as a child, my IQ tested near the genius range, and five year-olds are already enormously impaired next to adults.

    As a caveat, I'm pretty sure that most people don't analyze it on that level, and most parents don't justify it on such consciously hideous grounds. Their intentions are more noble, in many cases, and many children emerge reasonably well. No doubt hitting (we should use the real word, whatever we think about it) your kids occasionally is preferable to setting no boundaries at all. But we have no definitive evidence that favors it over other methods of discipline, and a whole crop that associates at least heavy levels with negative behaviors and outcomes. Some of those behaviors may be causing the spanking, rather than purely the other way around, but it is no stretch to think that physical violence feeds them, given what we know of outright abuse. Even beyond that, I ask you to consider: with all the negative aspects of conformity, and the flawed nature of humans, do we really want children to follow their parents' every command?
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2016
  5. Miller0700
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    It's only abuse if you use it poorly, i.e. using it an excuse to vent your own personal frustrations or using it because you don't know how to use other forms of punishment which many, many parents (including mine) do and have done in the past. I've seen parents punch, slap and yank their kids around like they were toys because they had a bad day. If you want your kids to grow up with anxiety issues, problems with authority, and higher rates of anti-social behavior then by all means go for this method.

    If you have to physically discipline your child/children then a light smack on the butt or the hand when told not to do something or to stay away from something dangerous is enough (imo) to give the child enough foresight to see the correlation between the negative action and pain. Me? I'd go for strict and stern (I told you to do X thing and I expect it to be done because Y) while giving positive and negative reinforcements.
     
  6. Shattered Shields
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    Shattered Shields Gratsa!

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    In terms of spanking, it really does depend on the child. It's a situational deal, depending on the severity of the offense of the child, and other methods of discipline. I was physically punished twice as a child. Once was a blow to me rear, another was a bar of soap in my mouth (ugh, I can still remember the taste). I don't even remember what I did wrong for the first one, but I didn't cuss in front of my parents for years after the second.

    Honestly, neither incident made me better of a person. I appreciate my parents so much more for feeding me life lessons as I grew up, not the discipline they gave.
     
  7. GingerCoffee
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    It's unnecessary. It's done mostly because people learn from their parents who learned from theirs.

    Research shows that with a few basic parenting skills one can dispense with spanking altogether. So why wouldn't you?
     
  8. Adenosine Triphosphate
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    Adenosine Triphosphate Old Scratch Contributor

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    Because you're constantly told that you're a pussy if you don't do it? Because you're scared your kids will grow up and rob a bank if you don't smack them around a few times? Because you ultimately care more about feeling tough than anything else?

    All common reasons, I believe. Though I, to my eternal shame, have sometimes been too weak to agree with you.

    EDIT: Beyond any pragmatic issues, which certainly exist, the factor that most confuses me is how this basic "don't hit people" rule is supposed to evaporate just because we're dealing with children. The parent is in charge, to be sure, but authority is an inherently flawed concept; that is clear from every position of power there has ever been, even those that are necessary for society to function. Hell, a lot of the same people who brag about spanking complain about the government on a daily basis. They clearly have some comprehension of this fact, at least for the most part. Given that, what allows them to treat the respect of their commands as some inalienable right?
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016
  9. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    Spanking is not abuse. Now beatings with a belt, various household objects, and big gnarly knuckles is abuse (speaking from first hand exp.)
    And it is a gross exaggeration to compare a few swats to the butt, with shooting some one in the head.
    Spanking is a form of discipline to correct negative behavior, prevent the bad behavior from being repeated.
    Shooting someone in the head will cease the ability of one to correct their behavior. Not a good teaching method in the slightest.

    Spanking is useful within reason. Time out is an alternative to spanking.

    So your argument is without merit as it does not address things as such. Nobody ever got PTSD from a few swats on the rear.
     
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