1. jontotheron
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    jontotheron New Member

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    Starting my first short story.

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by jontotheron, Dec 30, 2014.

    I have had an idea for a story for some time now. I would love to see if this comes off as an interesting topic to some of you guys and gals. Also, I am unsure if this could fit into the format of a short story. This being my first attempt at finishing* a story I would like to stick with short story format as compared to a novel. I appreciate any assistance that this incredible community can provide.

    (Long time lurker...1st time poster.)



    Man meets "love of his life" and after just a very short period (think several days/maybe a week) the relationship he hopes to build ends. She has no interest in him after a failed connected. Something about her makes him know without a doubt they are meant for each other. Instead of a new day starting the man awakens to the 1st day he met Girl A. Man attempts to captures Girl A's heart but it never works out and he spends an incredible amount of "Cycles" trying to make it work. On the day that she break it off he gives up on trying to get her. The man is approached by a brand new day with no more attempts of connecting with girl A.

    Some time passes. He meets Girl B. They are happy together. The end up marrying each other and spend the next 10 years in bliss. Content with how his life has turned out he hasnt pined for Girl A for some time. Until one night while laying in bed restless. For the first time since his loop ended he vividly dreams about his earlier days with girl A. He wakes the next morning 10 years earlier to the same loop he was in when he met Girl A. He remembers everything of his marriage to girl B but it seems to have never happened.

    There is a difference this time. Instead of never being able to obtain Girl A's love, everything seems to be working out. His feelings have returned with Girl A. His dilemma, Stay with Girl A and abandon his future with Girl B....or give up on staying with Girl A and find a way to get back to his life with Girl B.


    Excuse the formatting please I typed this synopsis up on my phone. I know how I want to end the story. My only concern is how long the story would be. Again, I appreciate any advice.
     
  2. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I do like this idea.

    I'd say first of all ...what is your take on this? Which girl should he stay with? You don't need to write this in, but you need to consider it. If the 'love of his life' leaves him after only a few days or weeks (after a failed 'connected' - not sure what that is) I think the question we will all have is: is she really the 'love of his life?' The relationship doesn't seem to be mutual. So is he deluding himself? Idealising something that doesn't exist? And if so, what's the point of the groundhog day stuff? What does he need to learn?

    And speaking of groundhog day stuff, how is this happening? I presume you know how, but if you don't, you'll need to come up with an explanation that makes sense. Again, you don't need to write this in, but it's got to hang together in some logical way—even if it's a fantasy scenario. It can be anything from a dream (been done before) or a 'god' (been done before) or a time machine (been done before) or he's dead and been reincarnated—whatever you come up with. (Maybe he's actually a ground hog, not a person ...hey, that's new! :)) I'd be clear in your own head how this odd series of recurrences 'work.' Otherwise you'll paint yourself into a corner that will result in total unbelievability. This will wreck your story. (Think the ending to Lost or Battlestar Galactica...)

    I'd say focus on things other than plot, if you want this to work. Focus on the personalities and the choice he has made and must make again. Focus on how the reader is supposed to be feeling as they read this story.

    Whether it's a short story, novelette, novel or three-volume trilogy will depend on how layered and developed it is. I wouldn't worry about that just now. Get your story motives straight. Then start writing. And good luck. This has promise.

    The older you get (I don't know how old you are, so this is just a general statement) the more you will confront past decisions you've made. Were they the right ones? Were they ones forced on you by circumstance? Are you happy where you are now? If you COULD go back and re-do these decisions, what choices would you make? Obviously there would be no point in going back if you couldn't take with you the memories of what your previous choices did to your life. But if you could ...would you take the path you took in real life, or would you choose another?

    It's a profitless exercise for sure, but I'm also sure we all do it to some extent. We'd all love to have the opportunity to go back and make a few changes, wouldn't we? That's why your story will appeal to people.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2014
  3. jontotheron
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    jontotheron New Member

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    First off, excellent advice. Much welcomed! :D I know how I want the story to end, why the groundhog effect starts and keeps occurring, and WHY the man continues to pursue Girl A. He is fooling himself, hes blind to the realization that its never going to work and he shouldnt be trying to force it. I am a happily married man but there was a girl in my youth that no matter what I did I couldn't get out of the friend zone. So it is personal to me in a way and like you said, everyone always thinks about what could have been. I am so eager to start this story. You have given me a lot to think about and I thank you!
     

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