1. Cessan
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    Cessan New Member

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    Story Help

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Cessan, Jan 15, 2008.

    Hello fellow members. I am new to this site and was hoping for some help on my story. I have written some already. I don't want it to become a short story, but I don't know if it will go far enough as to become a novel.


    Story
    Thunder roared over the humming ventilation gauzes and pierced the sky with a huge rumble that made the pebbles settled on the earth jump up like beans on a frying pan. Lightning cut through the sky so continuously that one could have sworn God was shooting electricity from His fingers tips sound sensitive taser. The lighting would hit the top of the highest towers and shoot electricity so violently into its subjective object that the electrical current would explode within the destined target and shoot violently through all the metal pipes within touching reach until it became transfixed with the water. The water would then illuminate for just one second before it became passive again, seemingly showing no sign of the cruelly death that would accost any person’s who big toe touched the surface of the water.
    Buildings toppled as the weight beneath the colossal beams became untenable. They would fall and break out massive amounts of smog that would penetrate a person’s eyes and assure them that they had gone blind in a matter of seconds. Rubble crumbles and rolls in big heaps over mounds and mountains of concrete and wires, splashing into the charged puddles of water, igniting the stemming wires and pipes.
    The sky is dark and the smog ceases under the patches between the hills of rubble and grey clouds greet the destroyed city below. The dark grey clouds look upon the dismantled city and spy no immediate signs of like, but rather evident signs of death. The clouds look on for hours over the deserted city as the smog continues creeping between rocks and hiding like snails afraid being washed down water spout.
    And surely enough, a sign of life appears at the base of a heap of rubble near the ruined City Hall building. A boy about the age of adolescence when one feels like one is drunk from the fountain of youth lays limp on the ground, seemingly dead but the clouds know it not. To the clouds, this boy is recognized as Deirke. The boy lies on the ground, scratches etching the sides of his faces just as deep and evident as the cracks on the pavement lining the streets of the destroyed city. He wakes and immediately falls to his sides, grasping his thigh and panting as heavily as a fish without water. He sits up on his knees and feels the pebbles penetrated his open flesh beneath his palms.
    The thunder stops roaring and the lighting stops striking. The humbub of the ventilation machines high above the one remaining building are the only things to be heard over Deirke’s loud panting. The humbub suddenly stops and Deirke cease his panting, voluntarily, for in the distance footsteps are heard. Heavy footsteps followed by a distinct clink-clink-clink that drags on the rubble; a footstep that Deirke recognizes amongst all others.
    And sure enough, the silhouette of a figure appears from the depths of the little remaining fleeing smog as it tries to continue hiding under the rubble. The footsteps are then accompanied by a familiar pop of knuckles as the silhouette emerges inexplicably from the smog with his gloves squeezed tight into boulder-like fists. A smirk crack on the figures faces and he laughs.
    “What’s wrong lil bro?” asks the figure who Deirke instantly recognizes as Sean, his malevolent older brother.
    “What’s wrong lil bro?” asks a young Sean, bent over a younger Deirke. Deirke looks up at him with huge puppy eyes and tears the size of puddles and he grasp his knee for dear life.
    “I fell on my knee and it hurts real bad, Sean,” whimpers Deirke. Sean looks down at Deirke with a look of sincere sympathy.
    “Here,” he says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a band-aid, “Put this on.”
    Deirke takes the band-aid from Sean’s hand and smiles up at him with the biggest ear to ear smile a boy can reveal through the pain of a knee cut. Sean nods down at little Deirke and puts his large hand on his shoulder, “All good now lil bro.” Deirke starts chuckling and suddenly they both break out in laughter.
    Sean stands up tall, like an evil pirate searching for Pandora’s Box and being informed that it is waiting for him only a mile away. The smile on his face could not have been mistaken in anyway to the one he had once embraced Deirke with when they were children, but rather a smile that bleeds of hatred and evil beings.
    “It’s a shame I have to kill you lil bro,” deciphers Sean, “But you seem to be causing a problem for the demons I serve.”
    Deirke feels a sudden stab in his heart, not a literal one like he felt on his side the moment City Hall fell on top of him, but another pain, a pain more real than that of the one eating away at his side, a pain that devours his heart little by little, leaving nothing for self-preservation.
    “Mom and dad always favored me anyway,” continues Sean, “So they won’t really miss you much, but, then again, they are dead.”

    A hail of rain hammers on Deirke’s window and he suddenly jerks awake. A cold sweat runs all long his back as he sits upright. He looks at his pillow and finds it soaked with sweat. He looks out his window, and City Hall looks right back at him.

    Deirke reclines back up against his pillows letting himself cool off in the morning breeze and thinks to himself Was that all just a dream? A nightmare? It felt so real? I know it can’t be though my family died in that explosion almost 5 years ago. No one survived but me…But I saw it me fighting my brother but why… Why him? What does it all mean? Is Sean going to betray me from the grave? I hope this isn’t the future, I don’t know what I would do if it was. I don’t think it is possible for anyone to survive that explosion… Unless they got powers instead.
    His thoughts continue to dwell on his dream as he gets dressed and ready for school. As he gels his hair for school there is a knock on his door.
    “Yo Deirke! Ya ready yet? We are gonna be late man!” said the voice.
    Deirke smiled and thought That Issac barely moving here and his family befriended me. “Coming Issac hold on just a bit!” he yelled back. Deirke quickly ran out the door with his backpack.
    “You gonna ride with me on my snowboard or are you gonna run?” asked Issac smugly already strapped down on his snowboard and already creating ice with his powers from the magical blast from 5 years ago.
    Running his hand through his hair Deirke gave grin that oh so resembled how his borther used to,” Course I am gonna run I needa stay in shape after all”
    Issac with his hands behind his head laughed, “Deirke both you and I know we are the only group that works out before during and after school.”
    Looking up at the sky Deirke replied, “I know but I can’t but think that something big will happen soon.”
    Issac looking a bit confused merely shrugged at the comment and started driting away on his ice path. Deirke grinned and started speeding off after Issac.

    Somewhere Else
    Why does everyone hate me? Why? It hurts so much… No one else cares about me… no one… Why should I suffer alone? WHY?!? I don’t want to suffer anymore… I feel so much pain…I suffer soo much… It annoys me how only I suffer… Does this world despise me so much? I love pain and I love to give pain to others that is why I am to suffer or is it the other way around? A tall gaunt boy in what looks to be a detective robe smeared with blood looks down from the world below like a gargoyle. A blood curling scream is let out from somewhere in the city. The boy smiles with glee that almost seems like he likes hearing others suffer. A tall skeletal shadowy figure appeared behind the boy.
    “Master Cessan, I did as you told me and hunted down that man that upset you,” said the figure.
    “Excellent job Skul very nice in killing the governor, now rally the others and finish off this pitiful city,” replied Cessan with a maniacal grin.
    Without a blink Skul jumped away. Cessan looked up at the sky as if longing to be freed from the pain he has been through. Sucking in his breath Cessan yells, “CITIZENS OF KNONE! For my whole life you have tortured me, ignored me, hated me while I sat helpless in the shadows of pain and darkness! NOW tell me HOW YOU LIKE IT?!?” Cessan curls over himself cackling maniacally, “Hahahahaha I hope you like death because you are about to come face to face with it!!”
     

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