Here is what I would write as the blurb on the back of this novel I am planning to write, if my idea proves one of my best. I just want to know if you would read this kind of story. If you need anything cleared up, please ask. This may be a wee confusing as I frequently find myself assuming people know my story: Stephen is growing up in a very strange time. He has always known the Savorists are more powerful than he and his family. He knows very little about them, other than that they speak to a very different God than he. However, with every passing day he learns more. News reaches his ears of a prophet, one who has come to "Deliver" the Savorists. He speaks of heretics, hatred, and fools. In the blink of an eye, Stephen's world is shattered. Across the world, and in his own hometown, Savorists rise up in the greatest mass hypnosis the world has ever seen, bloodlust on their minds. Now, as one of the last in a falling line of those pious to his own God, Stephen must survive against the world and find a paradise that is safe.
Before you write a back cover synopsis of the story you're planning on writing, you should sit down and write for a while. You might find in your writing that you don't like the idea so much.
I understand what you mean. I have written a bit. I'm just wondering if this idea would draw you in. I was just saying the back of my book to give you and understanding of what would be included in teh blurb.
To be honest, I don't think it would draw me in. I'm not a good judge of that though, since I don't like that sort of writing very much.
Lose the first sentence. Compact some of the rest. Now, put some tension in it. Read blurbs and see how they work. A last line like "Stephen must find his way to the safe haven in a world trying to tear itself apart...but maybe he himself carries the very seed of discord that will destroy everything." See what I mean? And not just for the blurb. You're taking chances doing something so close to existing mythology, but the more reason it needs to be deeper and have conflict and tension in the main character himself. Maybe he IS the anti-savior? Maybe the woman he loves and wants to marry is prophesied to bear the evil spawn? Etc.
