You know those people who don't really have a native language? Like they grow up in one country, learn that language sort of, and then they emigrate to another country, learn that language sort of. And they're left with 2 second languages, 0 native languages. On the one hand, I just can't stand the structure imposed on my writing by the generic standards of various academic disciplines - creative writing is such an important part of good scholarship I think, because facilitates creative thought and creative communication; I have peer reviewed so many essays where I can just see the author sitting there behind the words, seeing no need to come out and speak with their reader - it makes for a really boring essay and the impression that they're only writing because they have to. Needless to say, my academic writing is quite creative, often seen as eccentric. On the other hand, when I try to write creatively, to write fiction (don't get me started on the relationships between fact and fiction!), I feel I always need an argumentative goal, that I have to write rhetorically - I really struggle with simply trying to write something beautiful which will communicate something important about life to somebody - I'm always thinking, "how can I disguise my essay as a short story?" or whichever. But I don't want to write essays, I want to write short stories. Or novels. Or novellas. And there is a reason - that's for the Why Do You Write? thread. But basically, has anybody else undergone a transition like this, from somebody who writes a lot to somebody who writes a lot of fiction? My academic writing is ridiculously creative and my creative writing is ridiculously academic. While a little cross-pollination is good, I really want to find a way to write creatively without writing academically - later on I can implement more scholarship into what I write, but for now that's my best course. Thoughts?? Thx!