1. VEX
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    VEX New Member

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    Tales for Shadows: Element of desitny (need some help)

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by VEX, May 25, 2009.

    Shadow Tales: Element of desitny (need some help)

    I have menaged to write a few good chapters. I am trying to continue and I could use some help... This is what the story is about. For now written:

    Two brothers, Lestat and Lucas, moved to the house where their parents lived and got killed. The brotheres moved to the place. Younger one, Lucas, had a dream which was acctualy a travelling through dreams so it was for real. There was a shaman, who told him that he needs to find his own path to help greather good. Then a bad guardian attacked them and Lucas ran away.

    This is the whole thing:

    Their path is the path of guardians. Every guardian has a certain element, water, fire, earth, spiritual realm, nature, water, air, dark, light etc. Every guardian has a certain power too. But, guardian is not complete withouth a spirit who guide him/her. Then, element of destiny... It is a great rock that fell on Earth three thousaund year ago. Evil guardian is trying to get it. But the council, long time ago split it in many pieces, each for every element. During the many books, many will try to get the elements. Than,the last book will end with war between good and evil.


    Now.. .I have a problem, Lucas and Lestat needs to find a book with ancient powers which is hidden in secret room. And the necklace they got when they were young will help... Now, this is a problem, how they figure out what powers they have. The elder with telekinessis (spiritual realm element) and the younger with a power of traveling through dreams and seeing the future (the power of his element is not developed yet).

    Is my english bad. I write in Serbian. Hope I get some help?
     
  2. sophie.
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    sophie. Contributing Member

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    Hi Vex. Interesting story outline.

    no your english isn't bad - it is pretty amazing to be writing in an unfamiliar language, and you will learn! :)

    I have highlighted some grammar and spelling mistakes above. Some parts read a bit strangely, as if an online translator had made a mistake. Mostly though it was fine.

    I can't say too much about your story so far as not very much has been posted, but if you add more I'll try and improve my review.
     
  3. VEX
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    VEX New Member

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    I will try to post as much details as I can. ;)
    When I rewrite it.
    Librerian in my school is helping me with grammar mistakes in Serbian. I guess translator will do good then! ;)
     
  4. Marcelo
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    Marcelo Contributing Member

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    Good luck with your English. :)
    You see, I'm Mexican, so my primary language is Spanish. However, I started picking nitbits of the English language when I was little, and well, I'm really glad I did that. The writing rules should not be a problem as long as someone teaches them to you, and reading and watching shows in English is really helpful too. What you can never seem to stop learning, of course, is the vocabulary; Some words have more than five synonyms, each one for a different situation and usage!
    Anyway, I love English. :p
     
  5. VEX
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    VEX New Member

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    I'm having a problem to translate my story to English with google translator. It is bad.
    Maybe another translator is better.
    I will post some If I translate it...
     
  6. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Internet translators are useless. They can translate only the words, not the grammatical nuances, and not the context. Pretty much the first lesson of learning languages is not to use them, save perhaps for single words. You will not be able to adequately translate a piece of creative writing using an automated online translator.
     
  7. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Natural language translation is far more difficult that people imagine. In a technical sense, it's not even theoreetically possible to do so completely. But to even do so with a reasonably high degree of accuracy by a computer requires a great deal of computing power, and is still not an are that is well developed.

    The last place I worked was in the languiage translation business, and the software I was working on only operated on the basis of finding a best match of a sentence to be translated to another similar sentence already translated, along with an indication of how close a match the two sentences really were. Based on that, it would present the person with a best case translation. The user, who would be a professional interpreter, would make the necessary corrections and save the new translation, making yet another sentence available to other users in the same group. Of course, there were more aspects to it that made work even easier for the human interpreter, but that was the essence of the state of the art translation tools.

    Imagine, for a moment, the problem of automatically translating a sentence that contains spelling or grammatical errors. Then imagine sentences containing words that have multiple meanings and different parts of speech. Without understanding the contextual meaning of the sentence, it can be impossible to correctly parse it, without even conidering constructing an equivalent in another language. And I haven't even mentioned idiomatic expressions.
     
  8. Carbon
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    Carbon Member

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    As far as the story goes, you seem to be writing in a fantasy-esque setting. Perhaps some spirit or an oracle of some sort - maybe even the ghost of their parents - could guide the two and explain to them their powers.
     
  9. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    i would strongly suggest you change the name 'lestat' to one that is not so firmly connected to famous works [anne rice's series about 'the vampire lestat']...
     

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