1. MainerMikeBrown
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    MainerMikeBrown Contributing Member

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    Talk About Being Ignorant

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MainerMikeBrown, Jun 15, 2014.

    Some people are unfortunate enough to have a physical condition which is noticeable to others. Maybe someone's hands shake due to Parkinson's Disease, for example.

    If you come across someone with a noticeable physical problem, don't be ignorant by pointing it out to them. They're already aware of their condition, after all.

    I knew a person who had a physical condition. I will not say what it was. This individual was very self-conscious about it. And every so often a customer at this person's job would point it out to this person.

    This person already knew about it. Having some customers point it out to this person just made it even worse for this person.

    I could see a young child being ignorant enough to point out a condition out to someone. But for a full grown adult to do so is so foolish and ignorant!
     
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  2. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Stuff like this actually happens? I thought it was common sense not to do this.
     
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  3. Duchess-Yukine-Suoh
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    Duchess-Yukine-Suoh Girl #21 Contributor

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    People are stupid sometimes. :(I'm sorry your friend had to go through that.
     
  4. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    Sssssh, my common sense is tingling. I think people in general should use it. It would make the world go by so much easier.
     
  5. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Oh trust me, it happens a lot. I've heard of stories where people shouted at the deaf, thinking that was the solution; or finding some random blind person about to cross the road and, without asking for permission, suddenly grab them by the arm and pull them across.
     
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  6. Mans
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    Mans Contributing Member

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    Yes it is not good someone point to a physical condition. We must close our eyes on them and don't stare to such persons' shortcoming. They are sensitive to their defects.
    When I was younger, I knew a blind. He was sensitive that someone kidding him. He came to a theater academy, as me. He tried to sound a handsome young by wearing the colorful cloths and using a glasses like two mirror. His hearing was very good and he could to see with his ears!
    He sometimes made me laughing but I never laughed loudly at him and never pointed to his defect.
    If somebody did jest him, he would become nervous and angry. I remember he had a cane. I never had joking with him, because I knew his cane didn't lose the target :D He even could hear the sound of breathing of a person, so he was able to detect in which direction he is. If that person was a jester, he surely would taste the pain of a cane strike!
     
  7. KatieValino
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    KatieValino Member

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    I work as a community carer with people of varying disabilities. I have had some of them say they would prefer people to ask them about their condition just to get it out the way, and others who would rather they do not. I myself when meeting a new client do not directly ask them about their condition, I guess I just make friends with them because they are just normal people like you and I. Being a carer in the community I take my guys and gals out a lot and the amount of people who say things is interesting. The responses they get from my clients is varied but usually they like to just explain it wearily. I have seen no nasty comments (except a few to me about the children I am with but outta of earshot of the child).

    If you are curious, then most people do not mind being asked, but to just point is rude, people should definitely not do that.
     
  8. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Though I imagine it would be exhausting. I mean, if people kept asking me about my hearing aid, I'm going to get a bit tired of it and ask them if they have anything else they would like to know about me rather than about my hearing? Like you said, the disabled are people just like anyone else, they're not a walking embodiment of their own disability.
     
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  9. Thumpalumpacus
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    Thumpalumpacus Contributing Member

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    I have a bone disorder in my hip which imparts a noticeable limp, as well as ever-present pain. It doesn't bug me if someone asks about it.

    If someone simply pointed out to me, "Hey, you're limping," I'd dig through the sarcasm subfolder and whip out a gem for them to chew on, but there's no point in me being sensitive to someone taking note of the noticeable.
     
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  10. obsidian_cicatrix
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    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

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    In my own case, totally agree. I used to suffer from a really bad auto-immune condition. About 5 days a week for 7 years I was, hunched, blinded, swollen beyond recognition and sometimes unable to walk. People would cross to the other side of the street, perhaps thinking my condition was contagious.

    Personally, I was glad when people broached the subject. How I responded was all down to the manner in which they inquired. It was cathartic for me to have the opportunity to speak about it. Facial disfigurement and social anxiety often go hand in hand.

    The only offence I would have taken would have been if someone patronised me. 'Umm, you look fine,' was one of my particular bug bears, when in reality I looked like I'd done 12 rounds with Mike Tyson in his heyday. I was under no allusions; I would have much rather the person acknowledged it than hit me up with obviously false platitudes.

    Honesty, sensitivity and respect go a long way. I would never dream of asking someone, unless I had sussed enough to realise they'd rather I did than didn't. It's certainly not something I would consider doing on first meeting someone—my first impressions may not be the correct ones and I'd rather be cautious than cause upset.
     
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  11. KatieValino
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    KatieValino Member

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    I understand but it is not like it is every day that they get asked. Luckily in this country people tend not to be so open and approach random strangers in the street about their disabilities.
     
  12. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I do have a story about that. One time, a random woman I never met before saw that I had a hearing aid, approached me and began talking to me about my hearing aid. She asked me if I knew any sign language (I know a little of it) and informed me she had a deaf son. I wasn't offended, just confused then amused as I answered her questions. She was just surprised to see another hearing impaired person that wasn't her son.

    It was funny as hell, now that I think about it. :p :D
     
  13. KatieValino
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    KatieValino Member

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    Awwwwwww that is really sweet, I find the elderly are usually he most curious, especially when I take my disabled children out, they are the ones who would ask the most questions.
     
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  14. Chesster
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    Chesster Member

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    "Common Sense" is none existent!!! It was a long time ago, but I'm afraid the phrase "Uncommon Sense" is more fitting for 2014. The sad bit is the world is rife with people who are quick to judge on appearance.

    I can easily imagine a fictional scenario, where a bunch of people are blind folded. Out steps a person with serious facial disfigurement. They then proceed to sing and make every single person in the vicinity tingle and make the hairs on the audience stand tall. Once finished the blind folds are removed and the audience struggle to make heads or tails of the whole situation.

    A beautiful voice can be sang from what is deemed an ugly face. A lot of people would struggle to come to terms with that. TV has so much to answer for in regards to this thread.
     
  15. criticalsexualmass
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    criticalsexualmass Active Member

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    Swain described a way to make a character unliked by your reader. Having your a*hole character do something like this could be useful in character building...
     
  16. Tiradentes
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    Tiradentes Member

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    Once I helped a blind person cross the street, and after she was safely across I said "see ya later." It only occurred to me later that that might have been the wrong thing to say.
     
  17. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I had an experience like that once. I saw a man with a guide dog (it was a black lab, very fit with smooth fur) and without warning, I said, out of the blue to this blind man I've never met before, "I like your dog."

    I wanted to beat my head against the nearby tree once I realized what I said.
     
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  18. Mans
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    Mans Contributing Member

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    Don't blame yourself, we all sometime have such mistakes unwittingly.

    There is a sentence that the common people use as a thank in our area. " Your arm doesn't ache!" this is the phrase.

    There is a shop in our neighborhood. I have expressed this phrase to the shopper as a habit a few time. Do you know what is the problem?... One of his hands is paralyzed... Oh I embarrassed after saying this sentence every time. He is a kind man and always smiles me. Recently I have tried to tell him, Thank you" instead of " Your arm doesn't ache"
     
  19. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Judith Martin/Miss Manners, whom I consider to be a good authority, has firmly stated that normal conversational conventions using the word "see" are appropriate for use with the blind. "See you later" means "I'll interact with you in person later" or, in this case, "I'm leaving now" and those sentiments are independent of vision.

    (That's not to say that you should ignore any blind person who actually objects to those conventions, but apparently the consensus is not to change them.)

    Edited to add: For example, it wouldn't be unusual, when hanging up with a person that you only ever interact with on the phone, to say "Seeya!"
     
  20. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't see this as any more wrong than any other compliment to a stranger. No doubt he loves and is proud of his dog like any pet owner, even though the dog also has a practical job.
     
  21. Fullmetal Xeno
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    Fullmetal Xeno Protector of Literature Contributor

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    It's funny cause the people who make fun of people like that due to their appearance or mental disadvantage should be the ones who need to be pointed at for their reproaching stupidity. People who are disadvantaged or disfigured are mostly some of the greatest individuals on this planet. Kids that kill themselves over the fact that most of the people they know hate them and refuse to accept them for who they are is partly why my anger refutes to such astounding levels.
     
  22. Russo
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    Russo Member

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    I think its because people are nosy. People point it out in hopes for an explanation.
     

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