1. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    Tavern's Lads & Girls Discussion Thread

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Raven, Apr 30, 2008.

    Ok Guys and Girls we all have problems with the opposite sex or same. So if you have an issue you wish to discuss this is the place to ask. In this thread we can ask advice in anything to do with Romance Or over issues that you're a little worried about or just some dating tips etc.

    Now, to avoid this topic from devolving into a juvenile rant forum and to help keep it as a resource for people with something worthwhile to post lets all agree to a few rules here.

    1. Keep to the topic nothing gets old faster and dilutes the purpose of this topic more than these asides about non-issues. This is basically what killed the old thread, so keep on subject OK?

    2. Blatant 'flame' posts will be deleted I'll be the Mod for this topic and I think I'm pretty fair, but I'll simply delete blatantly abusive posts to keep this thread 'helpful' to all. We all get pretty impassioned about what we believe in these regards, just think before you type.

    3. Open to all One thing that drove off posters (especially females) from this thread before was the notion that it was 'for guys, about girls'. To be honest I think the discussion got more than a little 'inbred' because of this and the sparse participation of the female perspective. I am herby encouraging female participation in the thread to broaden the view.

    4. People can be wrong 90% of the posts from the old threads were from 14 to 18 year old males. Obviously this makes for a great lack of experience in male/female relations, and therefore accounts for a certain amount of naiveté in ideals. Older posters should always take this into consideration before you post. On the reverse side of this, younger posters need to also understand that at 15 they too are subject to a great deal of 'mis/disinformation'. Therefore don't be so quick to disregard the advice of the older posters here. Keep an open mind.

    5. Relate what you experience One of the strengths of the old thread was the 'field reports' certain members would check in with on a weekly basis. This is an excellent way to learn from each other and ought to be encouraged. If you have a problem, if you have a question, if you have a rant about what you're experiencing with regards to guys or girls (or family matters too BTW) post it here for advice or maybe just clarification or a new perspective that you may not have thought about otherwise.

    6. This isn't therapy No one to my knowledge on WF.Org has their doctorate in psychology, so take this advice for what it is, 'advice'. No one is telling you what to do - you need to decide that for yourself with regards to your own set of circumstances. This isn't group therapy or some kind of 'cry session'. Everything offered here should be positive and intended to build others up, not tear them down. However, be aware that some instances might require a good 'kick in the ass' to make a positive point.

    So there you have it - Lets get this topic underway. Guys and Girls post your ideas.







    ~Raven.
    Senior Super Moderator.
     
  2. Plain Pioneer
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    Plain Pioneer New Member

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    I was hoping for something like this to save my butt.

    What do you do when you really like a girl, and you have danced with her a couple time; you want to ask her out.

    Then some "friend" tells her that you like her. (It stinks!). But the rumor spread to "You're obsessed with her." I mean, its just a good healthy "like", not obsession.

    How might someone solve this? I plan to ask her to dance (for the second time), and ask her out then. How might I ask her out?


    -Thomas
     
  3. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    First and foremost, be confident in yourself. Just stroll right up to her and tell her you'd like to take her to the dance. Don't let your voice break, don't break eye contact with her, just do it. If she says no to you after that, she would have said no to you whether or not your friend started the rumor.
     
  4. Klee
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    Klee Contributing Member

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    I'd say go for it and ask her out. If she trusts some rumor rather than asking the truth then maybe she's not really worth it.
     
  5. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    She'll say yes, she'll say yes. Unless of course someone else asks her, so better hurry.
     
  6. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    aye mate, just go for it. The worst that can happen is she says no, and in that case so what, ya move on. :p
     
  7. Kratos
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    Kratos Contributing Member

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    Is it ok to possibly go out with someone almost two years older than you but in the same grade?
     
  8. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Age doesn't matter, if you totally like the person. I mean look at David Beckham, Posh is a year older....though I have to say, he's totally wasted on her, he sho cute, and she's so, well, whatever. But yeah, I dun see any problem in dating anyone older. She's even in the same grade!!
     
  9. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    Most girls don't go for guys who are younger than they are in my experience, but if she's for it, what do you have to lose?
     
  10. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    I agree with Mark there.....I for one would not go with any guy, younger than me, even if he was in the same class, unless i like him like, forever or something. I mean my sister's friend's boy-friend is one class her junior, though he's the same age. And we make such fun of her.
     
  11. Rickie writes
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    Rickie writes Member

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    Let us know what you think of younger men when your 30 years old. ;)
     
  12. Rickie writes
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    Rickie writes Member

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    Not in high school. Especially if your a girl. If he's 2 years older and in the same grade as you I'd wonder if there are some issues he may be dealing with?
     
  13. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    :p, I'll be maried with kids then Rickie......lol
     
  14. Rickie writes
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    Rickie writes Member

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    Relax, relax, relax..be yourself, don't act cool. Don't rush, move slow, look her in the eyes, smile, always smile, say hello, then just say something nice like: "You look nice today" or some genuine complement. Keep smiling and looking into her eyes...wait for her to say something. You're on you own after that, everything will be OK. ;)

    Ladies of the forum, how would you respond to a young man approaching you like that? What else would you suggest?

    :)
     
  15. Rickie writes
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    Rickie writes Member

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    I thought things were changing in India and women were starting careers and holding off to get married?
     
  16. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Oh well, they are, but I'm not sure my parents' would wait that long. The way i'm planning stuff, I should have an at least 100 grand pr month job by the time I'm 27, so it goes right. Though if it doesn't, thn...*shrug*


    topic....she will go if she's already been to dances with him before.
     
  17. alanmt
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    alanmt Member

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    I would just caution Plain Pioneer that this girl, like every girl he knows, will fall into one of three categories:

    interested in dating him
    having no particular interest in him, but willing to go on a date with him and see how it goes.
    not interested in dating him

    By asking her out, you will quickly determine whether she falls into the first to categories or the not interested category. If she falls into the not interested category, your feelings may be hurt, but unless she turns you down rudely, be a gentleman, don't talk bad about her to anyone else, and accept that she isn't interested (without demanding a reason!) and find someone else to be interested in.

    No person ever owes another person a reason for declining a date. If someone says "No thank you" or "I am not interested", be polite and let it go.

    In Pioneer's case, he may want to address the obsession rumor when he talks to her:

    "I hear there's a rumor going around that I am obsessed with you. I want to assure you it isn't true. I am just a regular guy, not some creepy stalker. It is true that I think you're really cool/smart/pretty/whatever, and would like to go out with you" and etc
     
  18. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    I disagree man, you're laying it on way too thick with that. Just ask her to the dance. Don't tell her she looks pretty, or that you really respect her, just ask her to the damn dance. If she says no, you wouldn't have had a chance with her anyway. If she does say no, just find someone else. There are more than enough pretty girls in the world.
     
  19. Plain Pioneer
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    Plain Pioneer New Member

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    Thanks for all your opinions and thoughts. It helped a lot. I feel all of you said important things.

    I will ask her to dance, but I may chicken out to ask her out. Kids at my school say that girls who know someone likes them, generally like that person back. Do you think this is true?
    Others have said that she would be happy someone wants to go on a date with her. I mean, she isn't in the popular crowd, which makes my happy.

    Really, thanks!


    -Thomas
     
  20. Rickie writes
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    Rickie writes Member

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    You sound like a strong willed assertive young man and what you do may work for you very well but PP seems a little different. To each his own, use whats works for you, the ladies will surly let you know. Smiling at a women and giving her a complement is never wrong if you are sincere.
     
  21. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    uh......Thomas, kids and people say a lot of stuff. For once stop listening to others, nd listen to the "voice". And she SHOULD be happy. Unless she's too sarcastic like me.
     
  22. Klee
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    Klee Contributing Member

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    No. It may happen sometimes, and at others not, every person is different. Just ask her, like other have said, the worst that can happen is that she says no, but then you'll have a lot more to choose from.
     
  23. (Mark)
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    (Mark) Contributing Member

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    First of all, don't chicken out. If you do, you're just setting yourself up for profound amounts of misery. The fear of rejection can be very poignant, but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad getting rejected as it does wallowing in misery at something that you're too scared to approach. Initially, the key to getting anywhere with women is confidence.

    That statement about girls liking someone back who likes them is flat out not true. If it were, I think a lot of single guys would suddenly be in relationships with Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson.

    I used to be scared of asking girls out, then I decide that life's too short to be single. Now, I'm in a very solid relationship that I wouldn't have ever had if I hadn't put myself out there. If you don't put yourself out there, you're going to be alone.

    So do yourself a favor: Next time you see this girl, just ask her. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no.

    @rickiewrites - I can see where you're coming from with complimenting girls. I think that once you get to know them, that's a great thing to do. But when you barely know somebody, and you're trying to get somewhere with them romantically, the best thing you can do is be assertive and play it cool.
     
  24. Neha
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    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Yeah, girls often tend to think you're hitting on them hen you're way too complimentary...lol...yeah yeah, the fair sex ain't all that "fair"
     
  25. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Just wanted to tell everyone that me and my Girl Friend have taken our relationship a step further and are now happily committed... we bought each other Commitment rings and everything, her's is a small, silver ring with 3 rocks on, and myn is a thin, round silver ring.

    Life is great :D
     

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