That first line catcher.

Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Sarah's scribbles, Aug 3, 2015.

  1. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    If they were throwing it out based on the first sentence TADAH they would probably say that.

    They don't.

    It's conjecture at best on your part, interpreting something (fancy that!) so as to support your spurious argument.

    200 subs a day. Meh. Chicken feed.
     
  2. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    The thread, and the competition, for poor opening lines demonstrates the importance. It's not critical, but if it's bad, who's going to invest in the rest?
     
  3. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I write my stuff like it would play out in a movie, somewhat.

    First I establish a shot, and then I inch in on the character.
     
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  4. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    I'll bite. Here's my WOP opening line. Obviously not the first thing I wrote in the story, and it has been edited somewhat over the years, but it has remained in place at the beginning.

    The reason I like it, as stated before, is (to me) it's an action (kind of) sequence that establishes the location (a cemetery), that the story is in 1st present (but any line would do this), that there is a mysterious dead character (who is in the grave?) that there is a man present (who?) and that the experience is bad (rape?). Hopefully people get hooked on what is going on, who these people are, why she got in this situation, and how...

    Or maybe it's just bollocks.
     
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  5. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    It is bleak and it is engaging. Keep it unless something better comes along.
     
  6. Jack Asher

    Jack Asher Banned Contributor

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    That's 200 subs per agent, and it's pretty clear you've never done any reading like that. As far as the conjecture, you're right, I only have what I've heard and seen agents do. I'm not hearing about all the conferences you've been to, or the parties with industry folks. I'm not even seeing any of the books you've read or the websites you've researched. You can't even recommend any material on the subject to @Sarah's scribbles.

    So until you can come up with some kind of credentials, I'm just going to go ignore everything else you say.
     
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  7. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

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    Pretty nice when you put it like that, and the 'fucks me' part grabbed my attention the most. :D
     
  8. Jack Asher

    Jack Asher Banned Contributor

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    I remember this from the workshop and thought it was pretty good then too. But the rest of the piece doesn't really maintain the energy of the first line, I think that's what you have to work on.
     
  9. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

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    You really think all that stuff will help you get published, anyway?

    Only one thing will get you published: a well written and interesting story that comes along at the right time when demand shifts in its favour. Business, no matter what field, works the same everywhere. A publisher or agent won't give a rats ass if you've been to a few conferences, they just want something that will sell, and the more they want it, the more say you have when they try to butcher your work.
     
  10. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Yup. But at least I got something to work...
     
  11. Jack Asher

    Jack Asher Banned Contributor

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    Actually when you meet the agent in person at a conference they're much more likely to look at your work. [winking face]
     
  12. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    If they like you ;)

    Punching them in the face is a poor strategy to be remembered by, I found.
     
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  13. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

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    Another defect with the commercial world: it's not what you know, it's who you know.

    :supermad:
     
  14. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    I read the OP. We were asked for advice / opinion. I provided it.

    Tying your legitimacy to the conferences and parties with industry folks you've been to is your prerogative, but you'll forgive me for not ever feeling the need to do the same.

    It's a piece of piss to go to a conference. Shit I have been to heaps of medical conferences. Doesn't make me a doctor though.

    I am a little saddened that you think what an agent does in front of a captive audience is indicative of what they do on a day to day basis. I ain't buying that for a dollar. That's a level of naivety I did not expect from you, Jack.
     
  15. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Dude! you need to share more :D where why and what the!? Here in Aus?
     
  16. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    Well.

    You are remembered by the rules you break, not the ones you follow.
     
  17. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Sadly it's just my over-active imagination
     
  18. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Dagnabit. :rofl:
     
  19. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

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    Strangely, this thread has inspired me to write a bit. I haven't written any genuine prose in weeks. :D
     
  20. Selbbin

    Selbbin The Moderating Cat Staff Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Just write lots of opening lines.
     
  21. Tesoro

    Tesoro Contributor Contributor

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    I completely agree with this. If I pick up a book with a title, cover and blurb that intrigues me, I'm gonna give it a lot more than the first line to hook me. Usually the first 130 pages. That's where I usually give up on a book.

    Good point! I can't, at least not accurately. I have a few ones that i remember liking, but I don't remember them word by word. I almost never pay attention to the first lines. And they aren't very important to me. (see above) I also think that it's pretty easy to come up with an interesting sentence as a first line, but writing an interesting BOOK is a completely different matter. Hence the 130 pages thing.

    I never do that! :) If I like the concept I buy it. If I don't like it I don't finish it and remember the authors name, for next time.
     
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  22. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks @Tesoro I don't feel so weird now :D
     
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  23. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Ephemeral?

    No more ephemeral than "up to snuff".
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2015
  24. Jack Asher

    Jack Asher Banned Contributor

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    I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. I never said that there was a concrete criteria to get your manuscript looked at, bought, or considered. In many cases what works for one has failed for another. There is no concrete rubric for success and no guarantee that the greatest book ever written will even see the inside of a bookstore*.

    What I will say is that selling your novel starts on the first sentence, and can't stop until after your last.

    *See: A Confederacy of Dunces
     
  25. Aaron DC

    Aaron DC Contributor Contributor

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    Read your words. I highlighted them in red. If you honestly want me to explain what you wrote, let me know.
     

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