When I pick up a new book I never care about the first sentence, or even the first page, or first chapter. I'm probably one of the most discriminating readers around, but I think that just reading the first page is a poor way to judge. I suppose that's because I've read enough to learn patience. Still, it's something I'll definitely keep in mind when I finish my own novel. As others have said, I think this should be your last concern, when everything else is written and solid. If a good opening line comes to you, then by all means, write it! But it's not worth brainstorming for hours to come up with a line you'll almost certainly replace. I can't imagine finishing a novel, and still being happy with my first pages. Most writers do a lot of revision, and the opening page may be reworked a dozen times... In fact, you'll probably revise the entire first chapter several times. Maybe the story should have started sooner? Or later; a little closer to the action? You won't know until it's done. For now, I have: Michael found himdelf floating in empty space. Good hook? No? Well, it doesn't matter. Because the story may not even begin with Michael. I doubt that I can write an entire book without changing my mind on the opening scene. Another thing you should keep in mind is your target audience. When writing for YA or kids they will be quicker to judge. So the opening line may be more crucial. If you're writing a massive epic like The Wheel of Time, then it really won't matter much. Only the most patient readers will even pick up your book in the first place. Anyway... Don't stress it; just write it.
I think everyone pays attention to the first page, even if they don't realize it. Here is what will most likely happen. The person goes to the book stores and browses. They pick up a book by an author they know, so they trust her and don't even read the first page. But they also want to try a new author. A cover catches her eye, even if she doesn't realize it. She reads the blurb perhaps, "Hey this sounds good." She opens to the first chapter. It hooks her, and she buys the book. If the beginning doesn't hook her, she will most likely put the book back and check out the next one that captures her attention. Perhaps a trusted source recommended the book, so they bought it with out even reading the blurb. From my experience, just about every great novel had a gripping first page. There are few exceptions.
Kas, BTW, Michael found himself floating in freespace, is a great first line because it makes me curious. How did he end up in freespace?
In a bookshop, I'll read the first line, the first paragraph. That, along with the back cover blurb, will make up my decision to buy or not. Once the book's in my house, if I'm looking for something to read I'm less discerning. Of the first sentences some of you have been kind enough to post, I'm now very eager to read Catcher in the Rye. The first line of As Simple As Snow is equally strong, but tells me that it's probably not my kind of book. Of course, if it's not your kind of book to read, it's probably best to find out as early as possible
I'm afraid (personally) this would put me off... It seems like you're focusing on the technology rather than the story or the atmosphere. I would (and I'm no expert writer, so take of this what you will) cut out "programmed", "bioengineered", "recon" and "altered vocal chords", and save those details for once you've established the scene and the atmosphere. I'd also split the first sentence, probably with a comma. As it stands, it's too long to take in without thought. The falcon swooped down from the grey-blue sky, homing in on the house. It scanned the area, then flew back to its master. "Robert, home", it squawked, alighting on his shoulder. The bird's speech and intelligence were bioengineered.
Yes, a good hook. It raises so many questions I'm going to want to read on to answer them: Who's Michael? Why is he in space? He "found himself" floating in empty space? That suggests he didn't expect to be there ... how can he end up in space by accident? Tell me! Tell me! So, for me, yes, I'm hooked
IMO, a falcon homing in on a house is not as interesting or gripping as a bioengineered falcon homing in on a house. If enough people think that removing the word bioengineered would make it better, I would have to really consider changing it, though. Do you read and enjoy reading sci-fi novels? Also, I have, for a while now, considered removing the programmed for recon part. But at the same time, it does make one wonder.
Yes, although I understand there are different "sub-genres" within sci-fi, and I don't necessarily subscribe to all of them. My shelves have quite a lot of Asimov, Heinlein, HG Wells and Jules Verne, to give you a sample of my tastes. "Bioengineered" may add interest, but it interrupts the flow at the beginning.
I enjoy Asimov. I just realized that my question sounds like I was asking you if you read in general, and if you enjoy sci-fi. Sorry about that. I only meant to ask that if sci-fi was one of the genres you read. You answered it, but I just wanted to be sure you didn't think I was asking, "Hey do you even read?" lol. I have also considered starting it off as, the partly metal falcon, or the altered falcon, or some word not as heavy as bioengineered. I just haven't thought of a good enough one yet; although, I do like altered falcon.
The trouble with the sentence is that it doesn't mesh with what someone in the scene would see. When you look up and see something swooping down for a landing, your first thought is probably, "A bird is coming in for a landing." Maybe, if you're familiar enough with it, you think, "Oh look, the cardinal is coming back." But who will think, "The crimson male cardinal is swooping down for a landing." Now maybe you want to clarify and expand after that first sentence, But trying to stuff all that exposition into a single sentences, PARTICULARLY an opening sentences, makes the writing sound stilted. Don't overexplain.
I am using a technique where you start out in omniscient POV then zoom into limited third person and stay there for the remaining of the story. I am still deciding if that is the best way to open my first scene or not. I am sure after I finish the first draft of the book, I will think of other ways to start it, and will probably choose one of them.
Ditto. I think 'grabbing' words are amongst the hardest to write, to conjure up. You're trying to deliver intrigue in just a handful of words. Words that intrigue the reader and so they want to read more. This is not an easy thing to accomplish.
Architectus, I'll just add my voice to the others here... Sorry! But Cogito said it better than I ever could. Perhaps you should just give the falcon a simple sci-fi name? If a fantasy novel started with: 'the azjar swooped in for the kill', I would wonder, what's an azjar? What is its prey, and why do I need to know about this? I have to keep reading to find out. Your bioengineered falcon must have at least one name... Even if it is a black market rarity (which I don't think it is). This might be the easiest solution, because it raises more questions while still giving a few basic answers. If you give the falcon a reasonable sci-fi name, then I'll know It's not a natural bird... and I'll know I'm reading sci-fi. Morover, if you give it a name that basically means "spy", then you can happily cut out the 'programmed for recon' bit. With one sweet little word you could clean up all of those heavy first sentences. Then explain it where appropriate, if need be. Or not - the reader will be able to put this together, I think. But I'm still on my first cup of coffee this morning - so I have no idea what that name might be! Oh, and re Cogito on not meshing with what someone would see... You're describing this as an all-knowing narrator, so I think it's ok... This bit reads like a prologue before switching over to Clay's perspective. But the more important thing is to consider what someone would say. Good luck.
Even an all-seeing narrator should have a voice consistent with an ordinary human observer. The narrator is the reader's proxy, and needs to fit into the scene also, without requiring a crowbar.
Mystery is vital to a first setence. Anything that will grab the readers attention will do. One of the biggest mistakes, one which I'll openly admit to being guilty of, is devoting the first sentence towards describing the scenery. Sure, if you're doing this to reflect some element of the story (like saying it's dark and cloudy for a horror/mystery story), than it's alright. But it would be better to begin with something relevant to the actual story. Hint towards something interesting to come without divulging everything so the reader wants to find out more.
This thread has had me looking over my bookshelves for great first lines. This is one of my favourites: I still remember the day my father took me to the Cemetery of Forgotten Books for the first time. - The Shadow of the Wind, Zafón
