I think it's cute. I guess I kind of understand if the comment was made about, say, Abruptum (a Swedish black metal/ambience band) or Peste Noire (French black metal), but if it's just modern metal with some growling and distortion -- Machine Head for one is really quite melodic -- I just find such comments plain cute and I'll be happy to talk about the subject. I don't show my colors anymore as much as I used to (apart from paratrooper boots and the abundance of the color black), so people are actually more surprised to find out my taste in music, and they also comment on it more than when I still "looked the part."
then i came from somewhere that was actually quite narrow-minded on such things, which it was why i got annoyed at that time. a lot of people know i listen to metal (namely through my wearing of one of 2 patch jackets)
@ChaosReigns, I used to have that satan music conversation all the time when I was 14-16 and had long hair and listened to metal (some of it black, though). Then I cut my hair and turned into a closet metalhead, so nowadays people are surprised when they realize I listen to grindcore, death and black metal etc. in addition to the lighter stuff. One conversation I always end up having sooner or later with new people even though I know I should just shut up is the pro vs. anti gun, and it's just... no, shouldn't do it. So many times I've ended up with a thoroughly Don Quixotean experience, doing battle with windmills when neither logic nor statistical data get through just because "guns are evil." And then they look at me funny, like I'm the next Charles Whitman. Luckily recently I've grown tired of acting the crusader, so a few times I've actually managed to shut up about the subject.
I'm a little late to this thread, but I liked this post. Yeah, that's a pain, dealing with folk who refuse to change a bad situation, even though the solutions to their problems are stunningly simple. Once it becomes clear that I'm dealing with a 'better the devil you know' person, I just back off. I get fed up expending energy trying to 'help,' when they actually don't want help. I had an old (wise) roommate once, who used to handle this sort of situation very well. When I (or somebody else) started some sort of rant or litany of complaint, she would always say: Do you want advice, or do you simply want me to be a listening ear? I'm fine either way. That always stopped me in my tracks. Surprisingly, my usual response was 'just a listening ear, please.' I guess you instinctively know if you actually need help sorting out a situation, or just want to vent.
I have a couple of these pet hates I hate getting into conversations with people about the Northern Ireland troubles. It's always protestant this, catholic that. Someone mentions British soldiers killing such and such, and then someone will pipe in but what about the IRA?!? (This exchange can be started by either being mentioned first). Basically it's circular whataboutery blah blah blah ad infinitum. Does my head in. I also hate getting into conversations about drug culture. I have a more liberal than average view towards drugs, believing in sensible and responsible personal usage if it does not harm others. In the past I've been roped into conversations with foaming-at-the-mouth anti-drug lunatics who've never taken drugs before yet have very strong opinions on them. This person is completely blinded by the scaremongering they see in the media. They are not normally susceptible to persuasion to the contrary. Sometimes they'll be advocates of all drug-users being knee-capped by the IRA (See above)
I'm this way too! Except I'm like this with ALL freedoms. LGTB and interracial marriage, gun control, drug use, early (not yet living fetus) abortion. In my opinion, if it isn't hurting anyone else, why do you care? Another thing that bothered me was during the Duck Dynasty homophobic comments or whatever.. I didn't have any strong feelings for his statements either way. I didn't necessarily agree with his views, but I didn't believe he was trying to be hurtful by what he said. I worked at a bank at the time, and while I was at work one day, I kept hearing people comparing his statements to Miley Cyrus.. "People are okay with what Miley Cyrus does, but they have a huge problem with what HE said.." I couldn't help myself. It's NOT the SAME THING. Miley Cyrus is being inappropriate, yes. But she isn't opening criticizing any group of people the way he did. I regret opening my mouth, but I just couldn't bite my tongue that time. They were two issues that had nothing to do with each other, and I was so glad to have the controversy over with. lol
The Beatles were not that good. Stones were better. Zeppelin was better. Floyd was better.... Telling people this almost cost me my life...
Do you have a problem with people from outwith NI asking about the Troubles? Those of us who are neither Catholic nor Protestant, and who don't live there or have relatives there, are often quite curious about the whole thing. I know I just visited recently, and certainly from a visitor's point of view there is nothing to dislike at all, and very few overt reminders. Quite the opposite. But there's always a subtext, and as a visitor I'm not sure what to say and/or do. Is it safe to mention? If so, in what context? It seems patronising to say 'hey, you guys have really bounced back,' but at the same time, to pretend it never happened? Not sure how to behave. By the way I was totally taken with Belfast. Not at all what I expected. The town centre is gorgeous, and seems, in an odd way, unified. Clean, dignified, stylish and full of life. (And damn good food, at least where we ate.) And great company, too. Had a fine time indeed, and would go back in a flash.
No not at all I don't mind speaking to 'outsiders', if you like, because as outsiders they're more likely to view it dispassionately rather than be entrenched within the narrative of one community over the other. I mean, me personally I was brought up in a catholic nationalist family, and even though I try to be more open-minded to the competing narratives, I find that I will always be a little biased towards the nationalist view because that's just the way it is. It's a reflection of my upbringing and where I'm from. (Even if I try to ward against it) Most people you will talk to will be perfectly open with you if you're curious. I'm glad you liked Belfast by the way! I'm told the city is a far cry from 30 years ago (Not that I would know haha), and there is a more settled feel to the place overall. There are still issues of course but the place is surely on the up. Hopefully you visit again sometime and have a really good experience
Thanks. I know I was a little bit worried that something I might do would inadvertently trigger resentment. I spent a couple of days in Armagh (meeting up with friends from elsewhere, and the town was chosen for its location.) It is dominated by two cathedrals, both called St Patrick's, one at one end of town and the other one at the other end. One is Catholic, and one is Protestant. I was tempted to want to visit the Protestant one, simply because it's older and on the site of more ancient doings. But I didn't go, because I didn't want to send any particular signals. Do the residents of town 'watch' to see who visits what? Dunno... Here in south Lanarkshire, in Scotland, where I live, I know I'm always conscious of sending signals. If I'm walking up and down the street dressed in green and white clothing, or if I'm dressed in red and blue, this sends a signal. I wear both in a fashion sense only, but I've found myself altering colour schemes before going out, because of the 'signals.' The 'parades of bigots' (both stripes) march down the street adjacent to ours, and I have to plan my summer Saturday comings and goings around them. Just a pain in the ARSE. I do love it when I get asked what school I went to, though! I tell them—and they haven't a clue, because it's an ordinary high school in the USA. I don't mention our green and white school colours!
Haha I wouldn't worry about sending signals at all, you could visit wherever you want. Apparently Armagh is a very significant archaeological site. Hundreds of years ago it was the epicentre of pagan and then Celtic christianity, with St Patrick establishing a church there. I have a friend who goes to university in Glasgow. He was saying how it can be quite dangerous with all the sectarianism around. You couldn't just walk into a series of random pubs if you wanted to...I hate that. Sectarianism is a plague for everyone, both in Scotland and Ireland.
Fortunately, the movement against it seems to be gaining ground. Including the movement that is trying to force the marches to pay for their own police protection. Why should that come from the public purse? I know our First Minister, Alex Salmond, has spoken out strongly against sectarianism, as have many others in the current Scottish government and Opposition. I suspect it's not going to last much longer. Thugs will need to find another cause.
Is it OK to bring up conversations I'm afraid to start simply because I'm afraid of the outcome? - World War II. I just...I don't know where to start with it. Seems like the moment I brought it up in a history forum I was on, emotions reached a peak as if it were 1945 again. Now, before you all start, I know it was the costliest, most devastating, most deadliest war we've ever fought as a human race. I bloody well know that to steal a phrase from the Brits (hope y'all don't mind. You have such a good vernacular.) Still doesn't make it any easier for me to ask questions about it which is why I avoid it like the plague. World War I is a close tie, as I believe it was this war that set the stones for the second one. - The American Civil War. Now, this is more into the real world, not the 'net, seeing as I'm from Alabama. I don't know how many people still feel touchy about a war that ended 150 years ago, but my time in the history forum discussing the war has lead me to believe that there are still people out there who thinks the Confederates should've won. So...I don't bring it up in public, but rather go visit Civil War battle sites and museums. - The Irish Troubles. I know, Mackers, you said that you all probably don't mind if non-Irish folks went in and started asking questions about what happened back then, but I'm so paranoid about accidentally sparking off emotions that I'm sorta afraid to ask because the way I'd ask might come off as stupid or offensive, like, "so, who were the bad guys?" or "what role did Thatcher play in this?" You probably won't mind, but someone who suffered during it might mind a whole lot. These are some of the conversations I'm afraid to bring up, mostly because I fear I'll say something stupid/offensive and will piss people off. That's the last thing I want to do. :/ It's not all history, though. There's some non-history related stuff that I'll add a bit later when I think of them.
