Because then if you get pinched, you pop. Then you are just a puddle of water. You should never eat too much candy...
... because it's bad for your teeth, and you will be haunted by a small armada of dentists for the rest of your life! You should never marry a dentist...
Because when you're sleeping he will secretly work on your teeth. A dentist can't be married to someone who has bad teeth! You should never sleep with your eyes closed...
... because you will never see it comming! fellow posters; See what comming? me; sleep with your eyes open, and you'll know! You should never adress a woman with "Hey man...", ...
Because then she'll call you "sissy," "a wuss," or "prissy," later that day to get you back when you least expect it after you do something to be called that name. She won't keep quiet about it like she normally does. You should never hug a tree...
... because it will hug you back, and you will spend the rest of the day pulling out splinters. You should never talk Dutchlish (Dutchified English), ...
...because you will get a sour belly, and that's the truth. You should never go tide pool peeping in your bare feet...
... because only non-sequiturs will be forthcoming. You should never put pennies in your mouth because...
... you will need them eventualy, and we all know there is only one way to get those pennies back... and it's not pretty. You should never play Tetris, because...
...because it is filled with latent, leftover Soviet propaganda. You should never answer calls the come up as 'private' because....
...Because a dead Japanese girl will make a funny noise and suck you into the depths of hell. You should never call Santa fat...
... cause he'll cry, and run back to the North Pole. That way, noone gets any presents! And when the children find out you are resposible, they will hunt you down and lynch you. You should never mess with the presents of a horde of children between the age of 5 and 14, ...
or else they will hunt you down and stomp you to death. You should not mess with soujiroseta or else...
