1. Mr. X
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    Mr. X New Member

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    The End Is Never The End: Mr. X's Writing Journal

    Discussion in 'Progress Journals' started by Mr. X, Sep 4, 2016.

    Alright, I'm done procrastinating--I have to continue the work that I've started.

    Title: [To be chosen, don't know yet (thread title is the theme I'm going for)]

    Synopsis: The era that we know now has ended--a new world order known as New Babylonia have come from the shadows and swiftly taken over each of the world's countries from the inside. Within a week the world is under one man's control, a man calling himself King Nebuchadnezzar. Not long after this also emerging from the shadows is the American Confederation--North and South American soldiers that aim to take back the world in the name of democracy, operating under a General Jax Aikin. Meanwhile in Siberia reports begin to surface of a malevolent army that conquers everything in its wake, one that flies banners of an eagle and the immortal letters "S.P.Q.R.". Not much else is known, though rumors state they are led by a mysterious Empress.

    The dominoes have begun to fall, and as the powers of the world shift and balance, the future of humanity becomes uncertain.

    Chapter List/Progress:

    Act I:

    Prologue: Partially Written

    Chapter 1 - We Are: Written, awaiting revision
    Chapter 2 - The King's Arrival: Written, awaiting revision
    Chapter 3 - The General of Teton Range: Written, awaiting revision
    Chapter 4 - A Past Empire Speaks: Written, awaiting revision
    Chapter 5 - The Border: Partially Written - WRITING IN PROGRESS
    Chapter 6 - A Vulture in the Sands: Partially Written
    Chapter 7 - Rallying America: Minimally Written
    Chapter 8 - Preparing for Combat: Unwritten
    Chapter 9 - Battle at Rio: Unwritten
    Chapter 10 - The Trident: Unwritten

    Act II:

    ...

    Act III:

    ...

    Word Total In-Progress:
    28,384

    - - -​

    Progress Post #1 - 09/03/2016: I should note before I begin that I've rewritten the first few chapters twice due to some things in the story not lining up--I've been writing this since late last year, though I feel posting it here will put me in a better mindset.

    I'm just getting back from a procrastination phase, wrote two pages from A Vulture in the Sands--felt as though I wanted to expand a bit on the future chapter, as The Border for whatever reason is giving me writer's block (a bit of an action scene, can't seem to get back into it). Hope to progress more on The Border tomorrow, though a family birthday/college work will probably have to take priority. If I get back to it (as is my process) I might have to find a good soundtrack to put me in the mood--since it's a hand-to-hand combat scene, perhaps I'll find something drum oriented and Babylonian/Akkadian styled. 6 pages in...jeez, I feel as though it's not enough, though still I suppose content is more imperative than the length of it.

    Something that's bothering me in the back of my mind is my main character development--King Nebuchadnezzar a.k.a. Xavier Lindstrom, or Xavier. I essentially wanted part of the theme of this story to be a spin on the whole evil-guy-takes-over-the-world but from their perspective and they're not really evil, but they want to stop the suffering of the world (even as the organization he's affiliated to was originally for evil intentions). The problem I have is trying to create a relatable side of him, of which I've had significant trouble with doing my main characters in the past. I'm thinking about making something about him that's sort of missing, in the sense that even though he's matured, he never had a proper childhood and thus he sort of keeps trinkets and toys and plays with them absent mindedly around his sort of 'office'. I dunno--something I'm thinking about.

    Anyways, this was fun to post. Hopefully people find this interesting. Will post soon enough with another update.

    'Night!
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2016
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  2. cydney
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    cydney Banned

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    King Nebuchadnezzar

    reminds me of the story about him in the Bible. The writing on the wall - something about measurement & how he's found fallen short. Sorry! Can't remember the message exactly.

    But I don't think it works here anyway. Your king sounds like a good one. In the end, maybe?

    The toy thing is a funny twist.
     
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  3. cydney
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    cydney Banned

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    I couldn't sleep so I looked up the scripture. :) Hope you don't mind if I quote it here. Some people don't like this type of thing so if it bothers you I'll be glad to delete it.

    It was for King Belshazzar, the son of King Nebuchadnezzar:

    25 “This is the inscription that was written:
    mene, mene, tekel, parsin
    26 “Here is what these words mean:
    Menee: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.
    27 Tekelf: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.
    28 Peresg: Your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians.
     
  4. Mr. X
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    Oh no, I love quotes--very helpful!

    I forgot all about this story, actually--thank you for reminding me! This actually could help with the development of the story! :)
     
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    cydney Banned

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    Relieved to hear that. You never know. Thanks.
     
  6. Mr. X
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    Progress Post #2 - 09/15/2016: The Border is complete, now awaiting revision. It seems to have come together alright, though I'd like to go back and do some more revisions later once I finish this thing (if I finish this, I never know which of these projects will be successful). I want to expand upon giving the story some depth--from a friend I've heard that listening to Garrison Keillor's "News from Lake Wobegon" would give great insight into giving a story depth. I've listened to a few, and I think I can see what they mean. I tried adding that to The Border to some degree, and on showing some people the chapter it seems that it was eye-catching. So, on the right track, I guess.

    Problem is that I think I may be overdoing the story's details. The same friend read my chapter and told me that they way they read it, it was almost like "Step 1: X happens. Step 2: Y happens..." and so forth. That the "details were cool, but they got boring after a while", as it was the same thing to them. Though I am taking their advice in trying to add depth and some side stories to give the characters a bit more personality other than describing how they feel of things (not that I wasn't doing it before, though I suppose not enough), I'm a bit worried that this will be too much of a hamper on the story and it will bore the readers. That being said, I can see what they mean--I've reread it, and as they had told me I did feel bored in some scenes.

    For example:

    "Suddenly he felt the vehicle taken into the air by a large bump on the desert floor. In the brief moments he was airborne, the passage of time seemed to have slowed. The feeling of gravity disappearing entirely pushed into his upper body, and all weight from the lower portion seemed to disappear as he rose briefly off of his seat. Through the fog of the moment he could make out the soft pings of other bullets bouncing off of the bottom of the Hummer and down to earth.

    Then in a jolt of reality the Hummer crashed back down to the sands, Jax’s neck felt as if it had been wrung by ten hands, the stiffness of it echoing through his spine. He then looked up to see the other Hummers gathered a short distance away, their turrets drawn and firing upon the unseen Patrol. His foot scrambled momentarily but then found the brake and hit it moderately hard, causing the vehicle to sway violently forward and then halt. A sort of after-feeling that almost felt as though Jax continued to move with the vehicle remained for a moment in his system before fading into the distance. Though this only took place in seconds, it still felt very much as though it lasted for at least a minute in time.
    " - Chapter 5: The Border, Rough Draft.

    From my perspective this feels a bit overstuffed--something that continues throughout the chapter, though I'm not sure how else I could simplistically express it. As well, it almost feels like the extra detail is unnecessary--again, feeling as though it could be simplistically summarized somehow.

    I want this to be an interesting story, something that is somewhat of an epic yet is a way to observe how the world could potentially and radically change over the course of a few years. I just hope I am able to evolve my writing to make the story more compelling to read.

    If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I'd love to continue, though college work is more imperative at this point.

    'Night!
     
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