The Evil "Wish" Game

Granted, but the world you end up travelling is Trykjhyu IV - home of the evil, anal-probing aliens we mentioned earlier in the thread.

I wish to win several million on the lottery.

 

Granted, but you significantly underestimate your taxes on the winnings, and get drug through IRS-hell.

I wish I was Aquaman (this should be easy...)

 

Granted.
You become aqua man but with out the suit. Worst of all you have no male counter part and all the fish laugh at you.

I wish for a trip to the moon.

 

Granted, heh, sans rocket, sans capsule.

I wish I could understand every spoken language, fluently

 

Granted, but you become the world's most desired diplomatic representitive. The world leaunches into WWIII over you. Eventually, we fall into an inevitable nucleur hollacaust and the only remaining intelligence are cockroaches.

I wish for world peace

 

Your wish is granted

You wish is granted. A large astroid collides with earth causing all human life to be extinguished... and as a result, there is world peace. Since there are no humans left to make war with eachother.

I wish for health and happiness.

 

Granted.

But everyone hates you because of it and you die alone.

I wish for more wishes

 

Granted

The wish genie grants you as many wishes as you can wish, however, there is a catch. For each wish you make there is a negative consequence for disrupting the natural order of things. Something akin to the evil wish game...

I wish I was famous.

 

You're famous, but you die in a fiery wreck tomorrow. Just like James Dean!

I wish I could come up with an uncorruptible wish.

 

Granted, you come up with the uncorruptible wish. Unfortunatley it can never be granted as it clashes with the third law of thermodynamics which states that all things decay and corrupt and is therefore incompatible with the physical nature of the universe.

I wish to know the meaning of the universe.

 

Granted....but only for a short time. The meaning is so awesome that your brain cannot process the meaning and shortly there after your cranium spontaneously combusts.

I wish to get straight A's for the remainder of my High School Career

 

Granted, but that career is cut short by a tragic rubber band accident that leaves you in a persistent vegitative state until you're old enough to get social security.

I wish for things to continue as they currently do.

 

And everything will continue the same for you and only you. But it will only be an illusion. You will loose all grasp on reality and live life lost in your own visions of life. As it has been proven in the past....(refer to #35)"the third law of thermodynamics states that all things decay and corrupt and is therefore incompatible with the physical nature of the universe"....Everything else will progress and you will become lost in something you cannot see.

I wish I would discover the truth behind the mystery of destiny.

 

Granted. But in the process of learning the truth of destiny, you become fate, and drift further away from your true path, and become the one who has that effect on others.

I wish I could travel through time

 

Granted. You travel back in time to the medieval ages with no healthcare system, poor hygiene conditions, and become one of the downtrodden serfs to an evil Lord Barmus. Oh, and time travel hasn't been invented yet so you can't come back.


I wish to find happiness in the simple things of life.

 

Granted. You become so fascinated by such ordinary concepts that you can't seem to disengage from studying these marvelous pieces of pure craftsmanship. For example, as your walking outside for your lunchbreak, you grip the handle to open the door. As you grip the handle, you proclaim, "What a great idea! I mean a door handle; who woulda thought?" Prblem is, you spend the rest of your lunch break disecting it and studying it's interworkings (completely fascinated throughout). When you come back to your work (hours later) you are fired from your job for being such a tardy nuance. As you go to get into your car on your last day of work, you realize to yourself, "A doorhandle that opens the door to this car. I mean; who woulda thought?"

By the way, i know this is off-topic and all, but the book Magic Street by Orson Scott Card is strikingly similar to this game in that every wish has a negative consequence. Read it. It's good. Anywho...

I wish for better writing skills.

 

Granted. But you're writing skills become so good, your vocabulary so large, that it becomes impossible to read without bludgeoning oneself to death with the hardback copy, but you'd win a pulitzer, congrats.

I wish I could make other people slightly smarter.

 

Granted however this can only be achieved if you are butt naked

I wish I could have a job that pays me to just be me so I could do what I want When I want

 

Granted, but it's so time consuming that you never have time to do anything other than work.

I wish that binder clips had rubber grips (OW!).

 

Granted, but the rubber is molded together so they can't close.

I wish I could come up with a better wish.

 

You think really really hard, and suddenly you come up with a better wish. Unfortunately all of the extra blood flowing into your brain makes you have a stroke and you forget who you are(and the wish)

I wish to be a bestselling author of a book which descent contain disease.

 

You write the book, but people are confused by the magical qualities of the book that make them sick. However, because everyone is too proud to admit this, you become a best seller but are later reviled for causing a world wide plague.

I wish that I could have flex time at work.

 

Granted, but they worded 'flex time' more like 'leave of abcence'.

I wish I could invent a perpetual motion machine.

 

You could, but you find that you're too lazy.

I wish that by renaming something, I could recreate and redefine what it actually is.

 

Your wish is granted, but you only have been given the ability to do this once. So, you mull over what you want for many years. Every time you think you know what you want to change, a better Idea comes to mind. Because of your indeciciveness, you never name anything.

I wish money really did grow on trees.