Mr. or Ms. Rich Wealthy: This person is always posting pics of their new car, the expensive new kitchen they're putting in, their fantastic vacation in Monaco, the big new boat they just bought to use at their luxurious summer cottage, etc. Enough, already. You make a lot of money. You're very financially successful. We get it. Stop rubbing it in.
The Righteous Indignatius: As patient as Indignatuius has been all this time, she (he) has finally had it “up to here” with all the nasty lies told and rumors spread by that one person whom she (he) has treated with such deference and respect all these years. Self-appointed “Bully-Stander-Upper-Tooer,” Indignatius finds no choice but to temporarily go against her (his) steadfast personal principles of righteousness, goodness, kindness, tolerance, goodness, and respect for others, to reveal how dangerously dishonest that one person is, and how intentionally deceiptful is their portrayal of events that led to the breakup. Righteous Indignatius always “knows what’s been said,” “has heard the rumors,” lectures that “you should be more careful thinking your lies will never get back to me,” and “wishes people would grow the &*$*! up!” Righteous Indignatious always has three clinger friends who immediately amplify the tirade with cries of “You get ‘em! Atta girl (boy)!” You will eventually figure out that Righteous Indignatius is feverishly engaged in setting the record straight not only with that one person, but apparently every person Righteous Indignatius has ever met.
The Smiling Photogenica: This Facebook persona can manifest itself as one single person, but is often presented as a couple, always handsome and/or beautiful, with an annoyingly-photogenic smile or smiles, filled with numerous large, over-white, perfectly-spaced teeth. The Smiling Photogenica has honed the skill of personal presentation to an art form, and is keenly aware of the best angle, lighting, and body position for photographs, possessing the uncanny ability to twist into exactly the correct position at exactly the right moment to result in a perfect smiling face in any photograph no matter the conditions. Whether it’s a smiling photograph alongside a pond at the park suitable for placement in a 5” x 7” picture frame held for sale at a local Wal-Mart, or the moment of falling off the mechanical bull at Western’s Bar and Dancehall, the Smiling Photogenica instinctively snaps into position with a stunning smile, always at the same angle, always perfectly presented, always in the middle of the frame, and of course, always photogenic.
The I Think I'm Some kind of Photographer: These people are easily spotted by their multiple selfie shots that is taken from above their head at an angle. The picture just shows their face and cleavage, so that guys will hit on them not knowing they are four foot tall and 300 pounds, instead of being honest about what they look like.
If by a hint you mean something as obvious as an elephant in neon coveralls standing in the middle of the road, then yeah, it's there. I'm very jealous. Their lives are perfect. They get everything they want and hardly have to work for them. Every day is sunshine and unicorns crapping rainbows. Not true, of course. I know they have problems, they just choose to project that perfect image to the outside world, the ideal of them. But suppose that's fine, I do prefer happy news over sad ones Sometimes it just makes me go grrrnggghhh when I see those "My pupils said I'm the best teacher ever!" updates. Yikes! In high school the girls of my class used to flirt with and tease our maths teacher (who was married, though), except he was of the type that just got really awkward and started blushing and chuckling. There were plenty of uncomfortable moments... I have only one FB friend like that, but I ignore most of his updates anyway. Last time I went to gym, there was this stick of a girl lifting, like, 5kg (2.5 11lbs) weights and her fairly round-ish friend was recording the feat on her pink, rhinestone iPhone (and they were both wearing fashionable gym outfits, tights and tanktops with sizable brand logos so we know they've got money). Where is she going to post that video and why? Is she going to be ironic about it? "Look at me lifting helium balloons weights"? Or does she think she's actually working out and will post it to her brand new 'Fit4Life' blog? But hell, who am I to judge? I can be knocked over with a feather. I guess the only difference is that I'm not ballsy enough to record my brave feats and upload the vid to FB for all my friends to see what an amazing, budding athelete I am.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Boy/Girl: I have two childhood friends, sisters, who seem to post nothing but their level of fatigue, which rarely rises above "God, so tired..."
Mr. Tag-myself-at-every-place-I-go-to- Yes, I know you went to Beauty School today, and yesterday, and the day before that. You're in Beauty School. You should be there quite often. You don't need to share it every day.
The Mr. Superior. Yes we know the human race are just viruses with shoes, yes we know that every single living thing is an idiot and you alone are the exception with your genius brain and untouchable class and manners, it must be nice on top of that ivy tower. I'm sure all your passive-aggressive pot-shots at people feel very nice.
I'm pretty much kidding with most of the ones I've mentioned so far, but this next one really honestly will get unfriended if they don't heed my initial polite request to please stop: Farmville: Sends you constant invites to play whatever Facebook game is 'happening' right now. Seriously. I will unfriend you into next Tuesday.
the tw*t. they're generally annoying, talk about celebrities and different kind of drinks, Geordie shore, made in chelsea and how its Saturday and they're off to get "smashed"
There's a Geordie Shore? I'm going to assume if that's a show that it was modeled off of Jersey Shore, and for that, as a representative of the U.S. and on behalf of all my fellow non-d-bag* Americans, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. * D-bags or douchebags are American chavs.
Yeah, there is a Geordie Shore. It's (obviously) about idiots from Newcastle. Just watch it, it's wonderful, I have to put up with the Geordie accent every day of my life and it's a horrible one - proof a British accent doesn't necessarily sound like Hugh Grant.
to be honest i find hugh grant's accent often annoying, not as annoying as his dithering idiot speech pattern. That being said, im a "southern softy" and find most northern accents irritating. The geordie, the scouse whine, and the whole dropping "to" for "tut" thing. I have no idea if they're similar, id hope not! That entire celeb culture is poison
It seems they are, and trust me, the Jersey Shore phenomenon and everything else it spawned has dropped the total average I.Q. in America by a number of points.
I'm not amazing with southern English accents I must admit, but I have a refined northern/Scottish accent that is to be honest mostly neutral, so to speak like me and live in Sunderland, and work in Newcastle as I do ... yeah, I have trouble understanding people sometimes.
I found some vids on-line to teach one how to effect a proper Estuary accent instead of the muddled Disney British accent most Americans effect when they try.
As a transplanted Yank who lives in the Glasgow area, I can honestly say I LOVE different accents. I love listening to the difference in the way Scots speak, depending on what part of Scotland they hail from. I love the Geordie accent, and count the time I spent visiting Newcastle (and a few of the traditional music festivals that take place in the vicinity) as some of the most fun times of my life. I love the Liverpool accent too, and have done ever since the Beatles sprang it on me when I was 14. I used to work with a waitress, back in the USA, who hailed from Congleton, in Cheshire. She spoke like Coronation Street and called everybody a 'duck.' Great stuff. Had a lovely time visiting Wales, and thoroughly enjoyed speaking to Welsh people in English, and wishing I could actually speak their language. I think it's fabulous to listen to all the accents we English-speakers use, to be honest.
I've posted a link to an example of my accent in the Tavern if anyone is interested. Just to add irony to the mix: Another type of facebook-user I hate is the Shameless Self-Promoter.
A couple annoying ones are: My kids are the BEST/My kids are the WORST (often the SAME PERSON). My kids are so great. Today, on their own, they told me that they would stop taking piano and dance lessons because they know I am struggling to pay the bills. Next day: I must be the worst parent ever, because my children are ungrateful brats. I was exhausted last night and I asked Janie to heat up dinner for me and she refused. Now she's not going to go to the concert she's been waiting to attend for two months. (And to make it worse, "Janie" is also on Facebook.) Blaming Everyone Else for Something You Did: I hate Hilton and will never use them again. I didn't make reservations and drove 1000 miles in a snowstorm and when I called to make reservations at the next Hilton they were all full. I called Hilton's main number, and they suggested I go to a hotel that was already 20 miles behind us, when I've been driving for 10 hours. I'm never using Hilton again!
You nailed it! I know a couple of people like this in real life, and they're serious! They really do think it's Hilton's fault (in your example) and will go to their graves swearing it's true.
1. Awareness Raiser. I'm cool with liking a page of an autistic kid to give him a huge surprise for his birthday but I'm not interested in every single systematic rape story from around the world, or new anti-woman laws in Afghanistan, or who is sending troops where, on facebook. If I want to get upset, I go and read the news. 2. Self-absorbed creative. It's usually an art student with an alter ego of a female impersonator, or an animation enthusiast or a performance art aficionado, who are baseline funny, but often push their 'art' into a bizarrely intense category, and they post selfies in different wigs prolifically. Awkward. 3. Couples obsessed with showing their love. Where do I start? Usually a flood of emotional diahhorea memes, it's rarely something they thought up to say all by themselves, and their copy/paste posts often come with hidden threats like 'if you aren't a baby-eating monster you will Like this picture/cause' . 4. Too much of a good thing. When an interesting person gets addicted to facebook and I start finding blow-by-blow descriptions of their weekends away, including when they had sex and what they ate. TMI.
Yeah, I find this annoying too. People who make separate Facebook accounts for their artwork or creative outputs are really beginning to get on my nerves too.
@KaTrian Just makin' sure I didn't mislabel you. Over here, if you so much as hint that one girl is jealous of another, even if it's true, most girls would darn near bite you're head off. It's insulting and a lot of girls here in the states are a bit touchy about things like that. "Jealous?" they say "wth makes you think I'm jealous of her? She ain't got nothing for me to be jealous of with her fake @SS. Blah blah blah blah" I feel you on this. I wouldn't be posting things like that all the time. Sheesh, it's cool maybe once or twice, anymore seems a bit obsessive. I never really got that. I'm like, "girls, this guy is grown and married and a teacher... nothing ut trouble can come of your flirting and fantasizing." You have no idea how hard I laughed at this one! I have seen it too many times. They think they're really doin' something, but they're doing the bear minimum trying to go for that one bead of sweat that will make it look like they lift. And guys fall for it. I see right through it though. Having spent my high school life around athletes, I know the posers when I see um. It goes for guys too! There are guys who get in the gym, and grunt all loud and slam their weights and only work the show muscles like chest, shoulders, biceps and sometimes calves, but they cold care less about leg day or abs. POSERS! @chicagoliz These people are hilarious. And they are just so serious about it. I have friends like this. They try to rant to me, and then I'm like, "Well did you remember to do blah blah blah?" and they get quiet for a minute. Then thy speak up and say things like "That doesn't matter they should be willing to help customers anyway." @jazzabel You are a genius for that list. All 4 of those are brilliant. I have ignored couples, artists, (compulsive) awareness-raisers, and people who post too much. We don't need all the details of everything. here's another one. The Pictures Only Posters: these are the people who only post pictures--of themselves, of their friends, of their cars, of their food, things they find on the internet, you name it! They only share in pictures...
Just for the record, I thought I'd make a quick correction here. 5kg = 11 lbs. Looks like you did the conversion backwards.
Pfft, like I wanted a great job, a ton of friends, the perfect haircut, a fat bank account, a gazillion likes to my every post, etc. etc. Pleeeease! In all seriousness, I think it's okay to get a bit jealous sometimes. Makes you kick yourself all the harder towards your dreams. Besides, green becomes me... My theory is they're afraid of the leg work-out 'cause if they do it half-assedly they look like pussies, but if they do it for real, they might just puke and that's not gonna look hot to those skinny girls on the other side of the weight room dabbling with dumbbels. Funny how girls often do just ab- and leg/buttwork. Many seem to think they're gonna pop mad manly muscles on their arms if they start curling or benching. I'm living proof that's not gonna happen just like that and definitely not by accident. Still waiting for them to pop... any day now... *eats peanut butter by the bucketful* That was a test! I put mistakes into my posts to check if people actually read them. (Are you buying this?)
