1. Mans
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    Mans Contributing Member

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    The inception of a story

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Mans, Apr 22, 2013.

    This is the starting of a horror story which I had said in a previous post,I would write. It is necessary to be said I have not done any expanding or editing about it and is just as a draft.

    He seemed tired. It was the two hours which he had driven nonstop. The car clock showed the 12:30 am and he had to drive two hour further to reach the ...town.A lonely and roundabout road in the mountainous area. it was almost half hour that he had not seen any car to pass the road. He even didn't see any sign of the cars light afar and it seemed weird. Also it looked like there wasn't any residential place as a Motel or village in that harsh and rocky area. He had never traveled to that zone before therefore it was an unknown area for him specially at the nighttime. He reduced his speed, drove slowly, turned off the lights and observed... No. nothing was seen .he even was not able to see the road path so turned on the lights again and after a glance to the clock increased his speed.After passing a few turn of the road , he reached to a long straight path. As the time was passing, in that long and tedious way he started napping gradually. When he advanced the condition got the worse. he couldn't resist against the sleep which was closing his eyes and was overcoming his brain consciousness on and off. a few times the car swerved its direction to the road shoulder but he woke frightened timely and did return it to the right direction panicky. He felt the danger and tried to don't doze off and continue his way therefore he took down the windshield so that the cold air arrives into the car and prevent nodding. He also turned on the radio with a load sound to busy his mind. It was playing a classic music. In this situation abruptly, he saw two red light at a distance on the road and understood it is a car which is moving in his direction. He added to his speed to reach the car. It seemed it was moving slowly because he reached to it soon. it was a very old pickup truck and a big black dog was in its freight section and has been chained to the guard of the rear window. The strong dog had gazed to him with the shiny eyes. it seemed it could see him beyond the windshield. Ferd (this is a temporary name that I have chosen for the character at present )drove the car beside the track, and did match his speed to it. As he was driving the car parallel to that track he saw its driver was a fat aged man with the white whisker and had worn a Homburg hat. That old man turned his head and looked at him for a moment indifferent and coldly. He had a white and sallowish face and his looking was spiritless and didn't make any good sense... Fred smiled and took up his hand as a hail but that old man didn't show any affective reaction...Fred thought may he couldn't see him in the darkness so he turned on the inner light but nothing changed. That man picked up his eyes of Fred and looked the road direction again...
     
  2. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    are you using google translate again?
     
  3. Mans
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    Mans Contributing Member

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    No, I do translate myself but use an online grammar editor namely Ginger
     
  4. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think those programmes may hamper you and harm your writing. I don't know what to propose except for actual grammar classes, with a teacher. By posting your piece are you hoping for critique? Editing? Just general feedback?
     
  5. Mans
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    Mans Contributing Member

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    I am going to learn English grammar via some tutorial websites and I will not come back to the WF unless I have learned grammar in an acceptable level.

    Thank you :)
     
  6. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    But I showed you the Ginger grammar was a horrible program! Why did you not believe me? ;)

    You don't need to go away, just find better software.
     

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