1. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    The Lakota clan

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by RainbowWarrior, Apr 27, 2013.

    *puts on a brave face* ok, this is what ive been dreading about putting on here, but if going to be a writer, i must know what everyone thinks.

    ive had this story in my head for a few years now, and it has evolved pretty well from when i first started. its a mixture of fantasy and reality and controversial stuff and blah blah blah.

    but this one particular idea in the story has stayed with me the whole time.
    here it comes.

    *breathes in*

    there is a Lakota clan hidden in the Black Hills of South Dakota.



    there. i said it.

    now before you think im a fool, i have done a lot of research into what the media has done to Native Americans (western films, twilight, etc)

    many times i have thought about scrapping this idea, but that means ill have to change about half of the entire story, and get rid of loads of fleshed out characters which i have come to love.
    i notice that in many movies and books they are seen as inferior animal-like people, or they have weird superpowers. :confused:
    (the only Native in my story who is remotely close to having 'magical' powers is the shaman!)

    all my Native characters are perfectly human, and they all have different personalities. they all have their own strengths which makes each individual unique.



    also, (as its set in the near future, in a world where less and less people are religious) i NEED them.
    a couple of themes in my story are Spirituality and Nature, and my main character will be mentored physically and spiritually if she's going to complete her quest.

    i also noticed that (in media) when a white person integrates into native culture, the white person usually ends up becoming better at being an indian than the indians themselves. i know that i must be careful not to let this happen.

    a lot of you are probably thinking "how on earth did the lakotas survive that long???" im working on that!


    ok, so by now most of you are probably frowning at the screen thinking WTH, and i dont blame you! but PLEEEASE be gentle in the critisisms!

    i will happily ask any questions.

    now, im going to leave you all to read this and think about it. post what you think!


    *hides under bed*
     
  2. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    where is it?
     
  3. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    where's what? :confused:
     
  4. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    i thought you were putting up something for critique... what was with all the drama?
     
  5. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    i'm afraid :(
     
  6. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    either put it up or don't, you have to show someone one day, are you just sitting bored hoping to answer questions?
     
  7. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    actually im revising at the moment. i dont usually spend much time on this forum, but today i decided that im not going to do anymore writing until i get some opinions from people.
     
  8. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I don't see what the problem is. Lakota in the Black Hills? Why wouldn't they be there?
     
  9. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    because it's set in 2070.

    and they haven't been discovered since they settled there nearly 2 centuries ago. 8/
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Writing may not be posted here for critique anyway.

    RainbowWarrior, exactly what are you asking for? Permission to write it, or approval for the idea?

    It's an idea. Nothing more. Now go see what you can do with it.
     
  11. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    im just wondering what people think
     
  12. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Unimportant. Ask them when you've actually written something,

    A story concept means nothing. What matters is how you write it: the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's absolutely no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.
     
  13. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    thanks :redface:
     
  14. Yoshiko
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    Yoshiko Contributing Member Contributor

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    I don't think you've given the right sort of information to get meaningful feedback. You've told us about your research and what you've learned about other works from that - but you didn't say much about your own story. I can't say "this sounds good" or "this sounds bad" because even after reading your post through four times I still don't have a clue what it's actually about.
     
  15. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    ok look, i've got a 1 line idea for a story and i'm going to bs like a drama queen about my fear - what do you guys think????????? Blahhhhhhhhhh
     
  16. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    What worries me, is that this sounds a bit like the plot from Last of the Dogmen, a film starring Tom Berenger, that was made back in the late 1990s. It's about a tribe of Cheyenne people who are discovered hiding out in modern-day Montana. Be careful you're not duplicating this too much.
     
  17. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    heres the background to my story

    http://www.writingforums.org/showthread.php?t=61574

    hope this helps :)
     
  18. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    i saw that film AFTER i started planning my story. when i saw i was like "Nooo!"
    but ive minimised similarities as much as i can
     
  19. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    Writing is generally a solitary activity. It sounds like at this stage, you should sit with yourself and your computer/pen and paper and agonise over the story for a while (few days or weeks), work it out, go on an introverted journey into your soul to look for the answers to all your questions. And then write something. A prologue, a few chapters, but something. Then edit until you'd be happy to be marked on it, and then ask for feedback from others. That is the only time the feedback will actually be useful to you. Speaking from experience ;)
     
  20. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Stop wasting everyone's time, put your piece up and see how it goes. If people don't like it at the very least they'll tell you why and you will then know where your strenghts and weeknesses are and just keep improving. If people love it then happy days but put something up or don't!
     
  21. kayem
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    kayem New Member

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    Hey RainbowWarrior.
    Well done for being brave enough to post something about your ideas. It takes guts. I think people aren't necessarily giving you the support you were looking for because everyone feels this way about their ideas! Telling people stuff that you've made up is like revealing your deepest, embarrassing secrets. Practice helps you get over this. Don't be shy about posting your work - you're braver and more proactive than most just by clicking the 'post' button! I'm new to this forum, but I know all about feeling scared to share.

    One thing that really helped me with my confidence was this TED talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html
    If you get the time you should definitely watch it - it changed the way I feel about my work completely. Elizabeth Gilbert basically explains how it is so much more healthy to think of your work as some sort of partnership between you and your creative genius, meaning its not solely your responsibility. I'm not really explaining very well - take a look, honestly, it helped me no end.
    Good luck.
    KM
     
  22. RainbowWarrior
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    RainbowWarrior Member

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    thanks for the nice feedback! :)
     
  23. RainbowWarrior
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    thanks! your comment is way nicer than some of the replies on here! :)
     
  24. kayem
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    kayem New Member

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    You're welcome.
     
  25. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    No kidding. The girl's just asking if the idea of a hidden tribe being discovered is too far fetched for the readers.

    Ignore them, don't let that burnt toast bunch intimidate you.

    I think your story framework could work, but you might want to consider how you are going to tackle the logistics. An underground cave system is about the only way I think a reader would find it credible.

    Other options are a fantasy world or a different tribe in a different part of the world, like the Northern Territories of Canada. But a new tribe of indigenous peoples in Canada wouldn't be that unique.
     

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