1. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    The Meh Thread

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Lea`Brooks, Aug 26, 2016.

    So I was thinking... We have a "happiness" thread. We have a "not happy" thread. But we don't have an "in between happy and not happy" thread. Why not a Meh Thread, where you can share your feelings on situations or people you aren't quite sure about? Maybe you have an important decision to make and you don't know what to do. Maybe something happened and you just aren't quite sure what to feel. Either way, I feel like we need something for those situations, and this could be a good place for it. (Maybe?)

    I'll start you off with my latest meh.

    I've been feeling very un- lately. Unhappy. Uninspired. Unfulfilled. So I sat down and really started thinking... What would make me feel better? What would make me happy and excited to be alive? What would make me actually want to get out of the bed in the morning? And I discovered that what I needed was, in a word, goals.

    I'm turning 28 on Monday. And I have nothing to look forward to. Not really. I'm basically going from day off to day off, just longing to sit on the couch in my pajamas, binge watch Stranger Things, and stuff my face with Cheetos (the puffy kind). Sure, I look forward to the holidays and vacations. But is that really how I want to live my life? Counting down the days from one holiday to another until I die? Definitely not.

    So I need a goal. Something to work towards. Something to give me a reason to get up every day. Not something to happen within the next couple years, mind you. I'm thinking long-term -- five or even ten years. Give me plenty of time to do research and get experience before committing. So I played around with a lot of different ideas. Moving to Montana and doing something nature-y over there. Trying my hand at (gulp) Law School so I can fight for inmates' rights or the wrongly convicted. Maybe even become a therapist so I can make somewhat of a difference. However, none of those things seemed to resonate with me. Sure, they all sounded good, but... Is that really what I want to do?

    I talked to my husband about it the other night, hoping maybe he could help me nail down my desire. We threw around a few things, but nothing was really worth grabbing onto... Until he suggested I start a business. I thought, huh... That might work. When I was younger, I always toyed with the idea of opening a small shop. I could picture it so clearly in my head -- a two-story Victorian house, painted spruce blue, with a small front porch and a large bay window in the front. The floor would be made of a dark hardwood, the walls covered in a deep purple wallpaper, and old chandeliers would hang from the ceiling, creating a dim and cozy atmosphere. The register would sit on an over-sized wooden desk just left of the entrance. Bookshelves would line the walls and divide the room into three distinct areas. It would be open from nine to five, and I would live upstairs so I wouldn't have to worry about paying for a mortgage and a business property.

    But that was always just a visual. A pipe-dream. Not something I actually wanted... Except... The more I think about it, the more I think it would be really great. I could sell decor items, like stained glass wall hangings, hand-woven blankets, and miscellaneous figurines. I could even sell metaphysical items, like salt lamps, crystals, and essential oils. It could be one of those places that people see from the street and say, "That place looks neat. Let's go check it out." And they'd see so much they like, and they'd actually buy some of it because it'd be affordable.

    But then I pitched the idea on social media, just to see if anyone else (besides me) thinks it's a good idea... And everyone is telling me to go to school instead. "Invest in my future."

    But I don't want to go to school. I went that route, and it didn't work for me. This is more my style. And like I said, it's not like I want to open this business tomorrow. I want to start slow. Just learn the basics of business first. Figure out what I need to do. Decide what products to sell and how to get them. Open a shop on Etsy, selling the products I've chosen to see if there's even a market. Then in five or more years, if I'm still invested, I'll commit to a store front. It's not like I'm being reckless. I'm trying to be smart about it.

    I asked my husband if he thinks I'm being stupid. If he thinks I can actually do this or if I should just quit now. He thinks I should go for it -- thinks I'd be good at it (though whether he actually believes it or just playing the good-husband role, I'm not sure :p).

    So now I'm not sure what to think or feel. My heart is really in this. My gut is full of butterflies. But my brain is still on social media, overthinking what my friends and family had to say. My brain is doubting me. And I'm not sure if I should listen to it or not. Granted, if I decide to go this direction, I can back out at any time. Just because I decide I want to try doesn't mean I have to follow through. I don't have to buy a store front. That'll come if everything before that goes well. So really... If I go for it, what do I have to lose? But if I go for it and fail... Then where do I go?

    Meh....
     
  2. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well this thread went over like a lead balloon... :p
     
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  3. Simpson17866
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    Simpson17866 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Meh
     
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  4. Earp
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    Earp Active Member

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    From the thread title, I thought it was going to be something else, but I won't hijack it. For whatever my lifestyle advice is worth, it looks to me like you're paying way too much attention to the opinions of people who don't know what you're feeling about starting a business, and wouldn't support you if they did. In my experience, the first reaction of almost all people to your description of your plans/dreams for the future is negative. I don't know why that's so. There's a good chance that if you had told all these people on 'social media' (which might be your first mistake, anyway) that you wanted to return to school, they would have suggested that you start a business instead.

    Starting and running a successful business of any kind is a lot of very hard work. There;s nothing wrong with focusing on the fun aspects of your store, as long as you make sure you completely understand the possible problems and especially that you honestly anticipate all the expenses, startup and ongoing.

    In my state, there's a state office which helps new business owners (not financially, though). I'm sure your state has something similar. I often see small businesses which make me wonder, "how do they stay in business selling stuff like that?". I never get an answer, but they manage, sometimes for many years. In the university town near where I live, there's a dry cleaning place in a prime real estate location that's no bigger than my living room and that has been in business for at least forty years. I have no idea why they haven't sold the place to developers.

    It sounds like you know a little about the business you want to start, so my advice would be to go ahead. All you have to lose is some time (you're only 28) and some money. If the store ends up paying your bills, you could always go to law school then. You'd have plenty of time to study while waiting for customers.
     
  5. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    Nothing wrong with giving this idea a lot more directed thought. The only thing I would caution you against is the expectation that starting a shop will solve all your 'feeling meh' problems.

    Feeling 'meh' is something that can become chronic, no matter what you're doing. Expecting to never feel 'meh' is a pretty unrealistic goal, actually. Happiness is an internal thing, and very few of us who call ourselves 'happy,' are ecstatic and fulfilled every single minute of the day. You might want to look at making every day a little less 'meh' right now, by doing something that makes you feel good. Every day. It doesn't have to be big, or earth-shattering, just something that makes you happy in the here-and-now, which is really all any of us have got for certain.

    However, if you've always had the dream to own a shop like the one you're describing, there is nothing wrong with that at all. Start to direct your energy at finding out what it would take. Keeping an eye on Etsy and watching what is selling and what isn't can certainly be useful. (I suspect online selling isn't quite the same experience, even if you're selling the same kinds of things.) It can also help to visit shops that are similar to the one you want to run yourself. Either in person, or look them up online and see what their websites can tell you. What would you like to copy from them? What are they doing that you would change?

    You'll also need to think Where. Where would a shop like this work? Is there someplace near to where you live now where you could consider having a go? Is there an area that has a bunch of one-off specialty shops where you would fit in? Just do a bit of groundwork and see what you come up with. Just planning along those lines can certainly be fun, and can give you a goal.

    Deciding you need to move is okay, if that's not going to create horrible upheaval for you AND your husband. But it's too easy to get into the habit of thinking a change of scenery is going to heal you inside. While nobody wants to live in a horrible situation, looking for perfection on this earth just isn't going to happen. However, there is no reason why you can't move elsewhere IF you have a strong enough motivation, your husband agrees, and you have a good business plan worked out. Then go for it.

    There is nothing wrong with making a dream come true. Just remember, though, it's a bit different once you realise you're actually awake and not dreaming. It may be fulfilling, but you won't feel that way all the time—unless you are much luckier than most of the other people on the planet.
     
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  6. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    Like a bird table, a square of grass to pour water on?

    I have been dreaming these two months, and another couple of months I might get all of those things to call my own.
    Maybe then I write again.

    Like if I got a dog, as well, in the fantasy of mine, it becomes perfect: I never shit on the Web again. Who needs nudity - me, dog, promotion to manager, is a paradise on my Earth. It is coming, I know it's coming, but when is it coming Jesus?
     
  7. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Leah... I'm confused about what you'd actually be doing. You want to buy objects that other people produce... and then sell them at a higher price so that you make money from them also?
     
  8. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    She visits the morgues, care homes on Monday/Tuesday. Items in store midweek generally.
     
  9. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    You do realize that's how stores work, don't you? :p
     
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  10. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm still struggling with the concept of a store.
     
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