1. heyharris1
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    heyharris1 Senior Member

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    the perfect sentence, or line.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by heyharris1, Oct 1, 2007.

    How many times have you came up with the absolute perfect sentence, or statement, or something. I was laying in between thinking about a conversation, between 2 of the people, came up with the perfect statement, and now for the life of me i cant remember it uhhhhhhh. i hate myself.
    jim
     
  2. EyezForYou
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    EyezForYou Active Member

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    What was it about?
     
  3. heyharris1
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    heyharris1 Senior Member

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    it was a conversation between a lady and her husband, about her car that just got destroyed. I was laying in bed, and the conversation hit me, i should have got up and wrote it down.
     
  4. EyezForYou
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    EyezForYou Active Member

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    What was so intriguing about the car crash?

    Her husband must've been pissed, lol.
     
  5. heyharris1
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    heyharris1 Senior Member

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    no , he was more shocked than anything,because he caused it.The coversation was about how it happened, and his explanation, was great, you know comming up with a reason so it looks like it actually was'nt your fault but everybody know's it was. If i lay down again maybe it will come back
     
  6. DavidGil
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    DavidGil Senior Member

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    What I hate is when you have the perfect sentence and when someone reads it, they flag it as wrong or it can't be possible. I spent an age trying to work out how to keep it more or less the same.

    So I had to change:

    The wench nodded. She was fleshy, her face a mismatch of makeup and sour to look at.

    To:

    The wench nodded. She was fleshy, her face sour to look at with cheeks flushed and skin pale.

    Basically with writing in medieval times, I'd overlooked the fact makeup wouldn't be available then. A stupid mistake I suppose.
     
  7. absis minas
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    absis minas Member

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    I honestly like that first one more. Makeup wasn't available then...but JRR Tolkein used the sound of an "express train" in a description of a firework show.
     
  8. DavidGil
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    DavidGil Senior Member

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    As did I, that's why I was quite annoyed when I had it pulled. ;) Well not in the sense of swearing loudly but in the sense of ready to pull my hair out trying to think up a new sentence as I thought I had it perfect.

    However it's not all bad, someone gave me a link to a website on makeup in those days. I just have to research it some more so I might be able to use it. I was aware nobles would have it availiable but thought it would always cost a hell of a lot.

    Edit: Guess it could work as an expression actually, even if they didn't actually have makeup. That's what you meant. I'm a bit slow so you'll have to forgive my slowness on the uptake. ;)
     
  9. absis minas
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    absis minas Member

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    You could say "rouge."
    Whores "rouged" their cheeks in Hamlet.
    Or was it "paint"?
    I forget. Either way.
     

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