gah i had a post about to go up but google quit on me!!!!! (trying to recover from the unpleasantness so i will do it again later . . .)
Pro tip: type stuff in word/notepad first and save every now and then (for big posts). Then, copy and paste.
I was wondering if anyone could do a quick critique of my last few posts and let me know how I'm doing and let me know what I can improve on.
@Mac -my computer has something odd going on with its firewalls and wont let me paste on writing forums oddly enough. I have to wait to get to school to use their computers if i want to do that -but then their computers don't crash on me so it would be pointless. @NRed -I'd say you could use some practice on keeping one P.O.V straight -you seem to want third person but then switch to present tense. But then that's what RPG's are for -for practice makes perfect! Pro tip: avoid words that end with "s" if you want only third person. (I will use Kar for examples) example (for third person): Kar glanced at Wallace and stepped between the Shifter and the girl protectively. example (for present tense): Kar glances at Wallace, feels protective of his charge, and steps between the girl and the Shifter. In my preference third person is easiest but then i have the book in first person with keitsu over third person -i changed it for the RPG's sake- so i guess it depends on the person.
i just read EVERYTHING in this rpg, lol, i do that when i really like the story...so yeah i think i wanna join. tell me what you think, Keitsumah. Template for Imirri Character: Name: Myrhhtide Hollowell (pronounced, MURR-TIED) Age: 26yrs old Gender: Female Appearance: Tall, light caramel skin, thick black hair, fit body Short Biography: Born and raised in a secluded lodge in the woods by her witchy mother and her zombielike dad. Myrrhtide soon discovered that her mother Vadelia was run out of her village because she wiled other people's boyfriends and used her despicable potions to make other women sterile, sick, or even comatose. Myrrh's dad Thomas was the son of the blacksmith, a strapping muscle-y lad, who felt bad for Vadelia and went into the woods to bring her food and water. Vadelia tricked him into drinking a potion that made him her mindless slave and she used him to cut the wood to build her cabin and for other pleasures. She accidentally got pregnant with Myrrhtide and no matter how many slimy black potions she drank, the baby inside her just wouldn't die, and so Myrrhtide was born. When Myrrhtide turned 26, her evil mother finally died in her sleep. Her dad had been dead for five yrs. Myrrhtide buried Vadelia next to Thomas's grave and puttered around the lodge for a couple weeks befor deciding to leave the nest, and that's where she comes in... Guardian Name, Appearance, and Asset: Myrrhtide's Guardian is a huge raven with a wicked sharp beak and talons. It grants her a Power Asset, strengthening her when she is weak. Call 1: Spirit, call forth her Guardian or other local deities to aide her in battle. Call 2: Weather, conjure a mini-cyclone or call down lightning. Tool/Weapon: Long double-bladed spear, usually kept strapped to her back (taken from her dead father's shed)
accepted, just remember that powers are not active yet. Btw guys -Guardians can now be seen occassionally by Imirri!!
do guardians stay with us permanently? i just made my char see her's flying up in the sky before she ducked into Gunther's place with everyone. also, isn't anyone gonna heal poor Keit?? lol
Not much has happened since you left (I'm assuming you stopped following at age 2). Characters continued to introduce (Marklin and Kar are the characters that joint). The only major event that happened so far was a spirit attack at shifter kill site where Keitsumah was injured. I believe that was everything quickly and poorly summarized. Currently in the RPG there is no one with the light call ability. Additionally four puncture wounds that occurred at the shifters kill site. I'm assuming Keitsumah was attacked by shifter spirit or something along that line. From the description of the shifters when they're in the beast form, the four puncture wounds would probably be from upper and lower canines. If shifters have a similar bite pattern to wolves the win should probably be 2 inches in depth and quarter inch across. As well if Keitsumah was physically injured from the spirits at the kill site. Shouldn't Kar have been as well?
not if the lost soul didn't have time to really sink his teeth into Kar's neck before Keitsumah blasted him with light. thats what im assuming anyway, lol. so, is anybody gonna say hello to Myrrhtide, or are you all just gonna leave her hanging...?
ahhh but that's what makes me love saving stuff for reveals later on -and no Kar shouldn't have been injured @Exalia It will happen but you should stay active beforehand because something will happen very fast after the attack and all characters will need to keep near Keit
idk -one of the sad things of being a GM and im sure you know too *sigh* i wish Sorcerers was still going -Wyndii had just pounced on the fox
lmao, yeah but it was too slow and i was gone too long, i cant really get back into the story...i wish Vampyres was still going, haha, you guys were on Dissopia's tail when it ended, ha.
@Erik: Take this into account Exzalia, Z Well, Eximus, Spellbound (Though that seems to be on a bit of a break) and Starshade are all active. That takes up players. Everyone else is involved with the other RP's and people can only handle so many RP's at once. You posted the Castle RP while all these other RP's were still active. You should have waited until some of them ended.
