1. CDRW
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    CDRW Contributing Member Contributor

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    Things that are impossible, but really shouldn't be.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by CDRW, Jun 2, 2009.

    Go ahead and put up your list, here's some that's been bugging me today.

    1. A fantasy-art book with good art and no porn.

    2. An artist who can paint a dragon that looks *right.*

    3. A film-maker who can create a vampire that actually embodies the main vampiric trait after blood-sucking, charisma. (Pale, stuck up rich people, who are always shot under a blue light are NOT charismatic. When will you guys get that through your thick skulls? I'm looking at you Underworld.)

    4. An artist or film-maker to make a were-wolf that actually looks somewhat like a wolf and not redicilous.

    5. A picture of a unicorn that doesn't look downright stupid. (The Last Unicorn excepted.)
     
  2. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    My list is very locally derived:

    Actual Spanish programming which is not soap-opera.

    Actual Spanish programming which is not gossip.

    Actual Spanish programming which doesn't give me the sensation of brain cells going out one by one.
     
  3. A.J.Crowley
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    A.J.Crowley Senior Member

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    Current affairs shows with real news NOT the latest fad diet, Celebrity Gossip or Gullible people getting ripped off.
     
  4. Xeno
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    Xeno Mad and Bitey Contributor

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    The television industry without Jeremy Kyle.

    The media industry without Piers Morgan.
     
  5. Mercurial
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    Mercurial Contributing Member Contributor

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    Ha!
    We watch the Spanish channel here from time to time; you guys need better actors. ;) There was one that always makes me laugh, just thinking about it --there was a wedding, and some guy, presumably the bride's ex, takes about the entire show to climb the stairwell (stopping to cry periodically), gets into the chapel, points the gun at the bride for a good five minutes while no one sees before leaving and proceeds down the stairwell again.
    Come to think of it, maybe it's not that actors' faults; you guys need better writers.
    You should write for them, Wrey. :)

    CRDW --Oh, goodness; I loved The Last Unicorn! :D

    Things That Piss Me Off
    1) People who complain about how much weight they lose
    2) People who complain about being too popular
    3) People who complain about their significant others being too nice
    (#1-3 usually are traits of a single person)
    4) Headphones that dont break after six months of usage, no matter the brand
    5) Cereal dust --okay, seriously, now; you've just ruined breakfast, cereal bits.
    6) Kiddy scissors. Why in the world would people pay for scissors that dont actually cut?!
    7) Actually, scissors in general. How hard is it to get scissors out of packaging?! You need scissors to open the damn package of scissors! :p
     
  6. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    Why is it not possible for me to eat Cheerios without dropping them down my shirt and losing them in my cleavage? WHY?

    And while we're on the subject of scissors, am I the only left-handed tard on the face of the earth who cannot for the life of her manage to cut things with left-handed scissors? I just can't do it...
     
  7. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    I can't do either of those things. Eat Cheerios without dropping them in my shirt, or use left handed scissors.
     
  8. A2theDre
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    A2theDre Active Member

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    Eek, that's me. Well sorta... I complain when I can't put weight on.

    Wait, cheerios are the donut shaped cheesy ones right? Dude, it has a hole in the middle. They're practically designed for beings with opposable thumbs!!! I have no idea how you can drop them!!!
     
  9. Unsavory
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    Unsavory Active Member

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    I don't know what you're referring to, but Cheerios are a breakfast cereal, though they do happen to be donut shaped. While the thought of cheese flavored cheerios amuses me, I don't think such a thing exists.
     
  10. Rei
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    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

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    Impossible but shouldn't me? Respectful supervisors who know how to get the best out of their team, and actually believe that it is a team.
     
  11. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Tolerance.

    Slaps knee/ that'll never happen!
     
  12. sophie.
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    sophie. Contributing Member

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    1. A TV programme being shown without an advert for anti-ageing cream/incontinence knickers halfway through

    2. A 'talent contest' TV show that is a) not nauseatingly cheesy and insincere, b) without the sarcasm of Simon Cowell as its main distinction c) featuring judges who are actually talented

    3. My bus running on time :D
     
  13. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    A flash game website without the "Flat Stomach Rule: OBEY" ad.
     
  14. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Exams, that come with the answers.

    Rofl.
     
  15. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Students who speak English properly (at the English-medium uni I teach at) and don't say 'thankS God' or 'oh my God' every minute to prove how natural and fluent their English is...
    I think I need a vacation...
     
  16. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    There's a reason why burnout is so high in teaching. Lol.
     
  17. rory
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    rory Contributing Member

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    Only dragon I've ever seen that I liked was in the movie Dragonheart. It helped that Sean Connery was the voice actor. ;)
    And I'd given up on unicorns too, so I started to draw my own. At least they look how I imagine them now.

    As for my list of impossible possibilities:

    - Getting a job that I love (actually any job in my industry would be nice right now, but unlikely)
    - The library having the first book in a series as well as the second and third...
    - A functional public transit system
     
  18. Gallowglass
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    Gallowglass Contributing Member Contributor

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    This is after a hard day of making 'absurd claims' using historical facts, it's probably not my normal list:

    1) Convincing people that the television, telephone, tyre, tarmac, radar, and the basic principles of radio were not Chinese, American, or English.
    2) Saying that the UK and the British Empire was not founded or conquered by England.
    3) Logging off in the heat of an argument.

    My normal list would be more like this:

    1) Tourists that speak the local language and won't be sent to St Kilda as a result when they ask how to get to Inverness
    2) Fanatic unionists going a day without launching a new propaganda campaign
    3) Tourists realising that Gaels are not strong gusts of wind.
     
  19. Dr. Doctor
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    Dr. Doctor Contributing Member

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    Time to stop wearing open-necked shirts while eating breakfast? :D

    It shouldn't be impossible for me to use the library and not get screwed over. And to stay focused on writing all day long.
     
  20. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    News anchors who know the difference between a subjective and an objective pronoun.

    "Dylan and me will be attending the Walk for Hunger on Sunday ..."

    "Remember to watch for Sorboni and I at the grand opening tonight."
     
  21. 67Kangaroos
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    67Kangaroos Contributing Member

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    People who say what they mean and mean what they say! (read: stop being passive aggressive with me - it gets you nowhere because half the time i don't pick up on it and the other half i just ignore it and pretend you said what you meant!)
     
  22. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    Customers actually knowing how to swipe their credit card and sign without staring at the credit card machine like they've never seen one.

    We live in a plastic world, people. I know you've paid at a store with a credit card before. It's nothing new. Just sign the d*** thing.
     
  23. Hsnodgrass
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    Hsnodgrass Senior Member

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    Underground Hip-Hop artists with flows light years ahead of their mainstream cousins getting proper exposure. Most even rhyme about things other than loose women, weapons, and expendable income!

    Cereal that retains it's flavor and crunchiness in milk. We can make antimatter but not this?

    Legalized and taxed marijuana. Enough said.

    Travel faster than light speed. Just because we can't perceive it happening doesn't mean it's impossible.
     
  24. Arthur_Rimbaud
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    Arthur_Rimbaud Member

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    1. Being able to die in peace, with no people watching/filming/taking pictures and otherwise recording your every dying moment. Nothing bothers me more than gawkers at the scene of a death.

    2. Being able to become famous before the age of 22. These days, that's virtually impossible. Unless you become famous for something incredibly stupid.

    3. Finding typewriter ribbon.
     
  25. hiddennovelist
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    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's so Children of the Mind. :)

    Like for being Hannah Montana?

    They have it at Office Max. Of course, I don't know what kind of typewriter you have...
     

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