Think Tank: Bullying

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by JJ_Maxx, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. crash123go

    crash123go New Member

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    It's a hard line to follow but in my mind it needs to be how nature intended, survival of the fittest. If a person can't take bullying in school how are they going to survive as a adult where you can easily be bullied in every aspect of life. We have become progressively weaker as a society ever since we started over protecting our kids in the home and at school. I grew up riding in the front seat of my dads 60's mustang without a seat belt and not a single child proofed item in my house and I'm a very internally and physically strong person
     
  2. The Tourist

    The Tourist Banned

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    Oh, I hear you. But some schools don't keep score in games anymore. Kids might feel bad. Now if the lights go out we call FEMA.

    Speaking of that, I was a young tween when the entire eastern grid went down. In those days there was no 9-1-1, no cell phones, and even cops had rudimentary radios. Not every building had an emergency generator.

    Nine months later there was a crush of babies being born at local hospitals. People didn't panic, they simply opened a bottle of chianti and the loved the one they were with.

    I've carried a knife (and as an adult a SureFire E1e) with me since the age of eight. Now when Gibbs mentions "Rule Number Nine" on NCIS people think he's a dinosaur. He can adapt, he's learned to succeed--that's how they paint that character. If someone is always fighting your battles for you then never learn how to carry your weight.

    You do not strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. Of course, we must now seek being more European, whatever that means. But I will tell you one thing about life. I don't panic about anything.

    I don't fret when the lights go out. I park my truck wherever it's handy for me, even if it's not under a light. I know how to repair things. I find mall cops an annoyance not a comfort. And I do not understand why actually utilizing personal freedoms is so frightening to some folks.

    Of course, in getting to know these people you understand that they were always picked last in softball. To them, everyone who disagrees with them is a bully. They're not getting their way.
     
  3. shadowwalker

    shadowwalker Contributor Contributor

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    This thing with keeping scores...

    When I coached soccer, there were two leagues. One, the 'traveling league', kept score, the teams met with teams from other towns as well as our own, fancy uniforms - the whole spiel. The emphasis was on winning. The other league, the one I coached in, didn't keep score, didn't travel to other towns, and the uniforms consisted of a t-shirt with the team name and sponsor on it. There were no 'stars' on my teams; every player played every position at least twice during the season (six weeks). The emphasis wasn't on winning - it was learning how to play soccer and how to play on a team. The main purpose was to have fun playing a sport. I admit - I kept score, but none of the kids did. At the end of the game, they had no idea if we'd won or lost. There were no tantrums because they'd lost - there was exhilaration because they'd played well, both individually and as a team. And I had at least one set of parents come to me after each year, telling me their kid had learned more about soccer from my methods than they had with any other coach. And I had fifteen kids who couldn't wait for the next season, regardless of what team they ended up on. And many ended up being darn good players - good enough for the traveling league.

    So I guess I'd say keeping score only matters when you care about winning; when it's the game that matters, the score doesn't.
     
  4. SocksFox

    SocksFox Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Culture has changed. People don't seem to be a resilient as they once were. Many kids today get the world handed to them, or think they should have it handed to them. Entitlement. They don't have to earn what they want, or put in any effort. They don't know the value of working toward a goal. Most don't have the skill set to deal with bullying. They have grown up in a culture where suicide has become more and more common at a younger age. It has become the ultimate easy out.

    I have sympathy for the parents who have lost kids to situations like this, but the thinking of these kids confounds me...The book Thirteen Reasons Why is an excellent example of this. It negates personal responsibility, doling it out to thirteen others, saying why they are responsible for her suicide. I'm sorry but that is a fatal weakness of character. And for that I have no sympathy.

    There are bigger problems in the world than bullies. Millions who have seen, endured, and survived worse...And still do.

    Cynical I know, but it takes strength to stand your ground in the face of conflict. By removing all conflict and competition, kids are sent into the world woefully unprepared. I hate bullying, but I'm also a lot tougher because of it. I know which people are worth my time, and who to ignore.

    There will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, stronger, or more popular. That is nature. Those at the top of the heap didn't make it there because they sat down and cried. They fought to advance. Most of us will find our niche in the world, and we find it by learning what we do and do not like. And how can we know what we enjoy, if we don't know what we deplore? It's the whole light without the darkness ploy.
     
  5. chicagoliz

    chicagoliz Contributor Contributor

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    This is a non-sequitur. Sitting in the front seat of your dad's car doesn't make you into a strong person. The relevant comparison would be kids who were in automobile crashes while in the front seat with no seat belt versus kids who were in the back seat with seat restraints. As far as survival of the fittest, I think it's obvious which would emerge victorious.
     
  6. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    Bullying is wrong and I don't care if it's natrual. You know what else is natrual?

    rape, Animals do it too each other all the time. What make humans great is that we do not NEED! to follow our natrual instincts. We don't need to follow our base desire, our animals ways. Honestly I can't belive you guys, you sound like a bunch of social darwinists

    No bullying should not be tolerated at all! It is no diffrent from sexual harrasment, or federal assualt and we don't tolerate those.

    and to conclude I will post this peom.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY
     
  7. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Exzalia,

    I was on your side until I clicked that link. What a whiner.
     
  8. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    The greatest human flaw, is being unable or refusing to empathize with another. you can't see the beauty in his words? You didn't understand the gravity of what he was saying?

    What more can I say to you then.

    There is nothing more I can say is there?
     
  9. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    I couldn't sit through the whole thing. I stopped after he started complaining in his melodramatic voice about lack of love in society because he was called pork chop. It just sounded silly. Maybe the video gets better (or worse) but the fact that he would even include that section makes me doubt his argument.

    Adults like to say how cute children are. I remember school k-12. Kids are awful. More awful than adults in general, at least in terms of socializing. Once you get out of school, life gets dramatically better. But you need to be mature enough to hand all the responsibilities of the adult work.I'm not sure I'd want to be sharing responsibility with a guy like that.

    Edit: If the video gets better, could you please tell me what specifically I missed hearing?
     
  10. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    you didn't even finish the video.
    Amazing that is what I call refusing to empathize, can't even take 3 minute out of your day to here the story of another.


    And that is what is wrong with society, it's so self centered all about me.

    FYI In the adult world you can't bully your coworker anywhere near the amount you can in school or you will be sued and fined. If we don't tolerate it in the work place why should we tolerate it in our schools? The idea that bullying prepares your for (Responsibility) is nonsense.

    Finally porkchop may sound silly to you but Empathize will you? as a child going into grade 3 being called that everyday is damaging and very hurtful, indeed it's not the word that's bad but how the word is used. In this case to denote inferiority in the victim.

    Like the word nigger, used to put down African Americans as inferior the actual word is just letters and harmless. But used in the wrong way it hurts more then you would ever know. Tell me what really is the difference? both words are being used in the EXACT same way, to hurt and put down another. That should never be tolerated.

    How anyone can think other wise is beyond me.
     
  11. live2write

    live2write Senior Member

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    Exzalia you are sounding like you are taking it too personally.

    Bullying happens everywhere. Honestly you cannot control a group of people to stop bullying because it is not possible. Just like you cannot control society to be Politically Correct. (I hate being P.C at times).

    I was bullied growing up to the point I got my whole glass suspended and it did not do anything to help afterwards! It stopped in high school because middle school was over, students leveled out after their puberty spring. I still get bullied by some people and it came to a point that I just laugh it off and realize how pathetic they are.

    It is harsh growing up with bullying but looking back on it, I am not happy about it but it was a part of my life that made me stronger. I also look at those people now and some of them are pathetic to the point where they mentally believe life is middle school. I grew up, they did not.
     
  12. shadowwalker

    shadowwalker Contributor Contributor

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    Well, just like written work, if the beginning doesn't grab, why should we continue in case it gets better?

    I was bullied in school. My son was bullied in school. School ends. We grow up, put aside the crap. I can empathize with kids who are truly bullied today, what with the internet and parents not paying attention to what's going on there. It can seem relentless. At the same time, I do think that some 'bullying' is blown out of proportion, mainly by parents who want to protect their kids from every trouble they run into. Sometimes the kids need to deal with their problems themselves; sometimes the adults need to step in and put a stop to it. Parents need to learn which is which. (I've been in both situations.)
     
  13. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    I know people who have been in similar situations as this guy. As adults, they have flourished. I think they're trying to compensate, but hey, they're getting results. They're not even bitter anymore. They can forgive 12 year olds.

    Would you like me to recognize that maybe not everyone is equally strong, and that some people won't develop a thick skin, and that those people should be protected? I agree, absolutely.

    However, let's talk about the guys who have already been bullied. I would prefer to see them loving their adult lives so much, that they can laugh off the abusive nicknames given to them when they were in grade school.
     
  14. crash123go

    crash123go New Member

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    Well obviously you didn't read my whole post cause I said that we are weakening as a society because kids today are overprotected and we need more people raising their kids like how I was raised. I went outside at 8 am and didn't come back inside till it was dark and today's kids don't go outside for a hour. Everyone nowadays has grown so soft and so overprotected that a lot of kids are weak and that's part of bullying, if you cant take some kids harassing you how are you gonna survive in the real world? Oh wait you dont have to cause people will just coddle you cause they dont want anyone feeling bad. I was born into a generation people that I feel embarrassed to be a part of, I want nothing to do with my generation because of how soft they are and kids today are even worse
     
  15. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    Would you like me to recognize that maybe not everyone is equally strong, and that some people won't develop a thick skin, and that those people should be protected? I agree, absolutely.

    Hmmm. yes this I agree on completely.

    Exzalia you are sounding like you are taking it too personally.

    No the problem is people arn't taking it personally enough. (Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.) I see my self in the children who get emotionally brutalized and then have monsters tell them

    "get over it."

    As a student who has lived through both racism and bullying, to me they are one in the same. A group of humans putting down another for their own self satisfaction. Accept one we admit that it's wrong and in the other we say "It builds character"

    So Ya I'm taking it personally.
     
  16. SocksFox

    SocksFox Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    FYI In the adult world you can't bully your coworker anywhere near the amount you can in school or you will be sued and fined. If we don't tolerate it in the work place why should we tolerate it in our schools? The idea that bullying prepares your for (Responsibility) is nonsense.

    The bullying is still there; it is just as cruel, in a much more subtle form. They say bullying isn't tolerated in the workplace. Well, it finds its way in just the same. Just because people don't say anything doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Dealing with bullying in school, does to some extent, prove us with the social skill set to deal with similar situations in the real world.

    With the way the job market currently is, people put up with way more than they should have to. Fear of losing a job will silence most victims. You will find a similar number of instances of bullying the workplace as you will in schools. People don't change all that much. Bullies will find victims in one shape or another over the course of their lives.

    There is no stemming the tide. Some of it is human nature, some of it is learned. Parent to child, child to child, child becomes a parent...The cycle repeats countless times over. Should it be tolerated? No. Is it tolerated? To a certain extent, yes. Why? Because should society assume a total no tolerance policy, society as a whole would grind to a halt.

    What would the punishment for violation of the policy be? Who would enforce it? Why were they chosen as enforcer? What qualifications place them above the rest?

    You can run this argument round and round until the cows come home and still not have answers to all the questions.

    Zero tolerance enforced is equated with perfection, something humans, who by nature are flawed, cannot understand.
     
  17. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    You can run this argument round and round until the cows come home and still not have answers to all the questions.

    Zero tolerance enforced is equated with perfection, something humans, who by nature are flawed, cannot understand.

    With the way the job market currently is, people put up with way more than they should have to. Fear of losing a job will silence most victims. You will find a similar number of instances of bullying the workplace as you will in schools. People don't change all that much. Bullies will find victims in one shape or another over the course of their lives.


    So? just because we arn't perfect doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to be. The world isn't perfect but that in no excuse to simply accept it the way it is. Human progress is the rebelling of social norms in order to create a better society. We must try with all our power both in the workplace and in school to stop this injustice.
     
  18. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    Well, just like written work, if the beginning doesn't grab, why should we continue in case it gets better?


    You can't compare the two, one is reading a book for fun. The otehr is listening to the opinion of a victem adressing a serious social issue.

    Don't read the book? fine.

    Don't listen to the man pouring his heart out? To me that is just being an insensitive jerk.

    (Not saying you are a jerk 123456789)
     
  19. SocksFox

    SocksFox Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    You're looking for an ideal in a flawed world. I strive to do my personal best each day. But for each person it's different, and too many people are indifferent. I've found a niche in the world that accepts me for who I am. If something bothers me, I speak out. People can listen, or they can walk away. But I also know how to let things go.
     
  20. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    You're looking for an ideal in a flawed world

    You bet you I am, till the day I die I refuse this world.

    Is that so wrong?
     
  21. SocksFox

    SocksFox Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    No, laudable in point of fact, but it is an exercise in futility.

    Call me selfish, but I survived the bullies and have found a modicum of peace. I'm not going to march out and start a fight about the issue. I can only relate my experiences and hope others will find their own strength of character.
     
  22. Exzalia

    Exzalia Banned Contributor

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    Who told you what the future will hold? Maybe it is futile, but what if it isn't? What if a world where men are treated equal and where people can be happy and secure is possible? It wasn't too long ago it was customary to rape the woman of any nation you conquered, to enslave children and commit genocide in the names of kings. Look for far we have come? Look at the good that was accomplished by dreamers,

    Slavery was abolished!

    Woman have the right to vote!

    Against all the odds dreams of a better world has been realized before how then can you say any thing if Futile?!

    These changes came because people who did not accept the world as it is did their part to change it, indeed change our very nature!. You say it is Futile, I say we will never know until we try.

    Are you willing to try Drakkin?




    This short speech, is the words that I live by. Everyone who has any shred of humanity should listen and hear.
     
  23. live2write

    live2write Senior Member

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    So what do you want the world to do?? No matter what you cannot get rid of Bullying. You can't get rid of racism. It will always be there. What do you want the world to do?? Punish everybody by throwing everybody who bullies in jail? Do you want them to have the shock treatment and rehabilitation therapy to make the more 'civil'.

    There is so much a person and society can do. It comes to a point where no matter how many time you try to resolve it, either somebody else gets bullied or it will just get worse. Only thing that really intimidates a bully is for you to keep your head up and stand up above them. Bully's feed off of fear and the reaction of hurting somebody. Some bullies have been bullied themselves or have home lives that are shaky and unfit.

    You cannot protect everybody. All you can do is make everybody aware of it, and hope for the best.

    Also with the video posted.....If I say this I am probably going to get my hair pulled by everybody here.
     
  24. SocksFox

    SocksFox Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Things do change over time, but when I say futile, I mean it. Some problems have been solved, rights granted, people freed...But the cycle repeats. Since those social reforms, we have had two World Wars and countless Civil Wars. Look at the Holocaust...Human nature doesn't change. Just the faces of the victims and the prosecutors...
     
  25. live2write

    live2write Senior Member

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    Look at North Korea...the Dictator is the biggest Bully. What can we do?! Only awareness.
     

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