This feels wrong to me. Opinions?

Sounds like I am on the right path. Yeah a few of the guardians point out this concept. In the sense they try to make it very clear they are not controlling her. Making a point to tell her that her life is hers. Better or worse. lol. They are more or less just offering friendly advice. lol.

It is almost midnight here.

Glad I have provided you a muse . Enjoy your writing.

 

To me, it sounds like she already snapped or boiled over when she instantly took out her sons killers, then you mentioned that she goes through life killing anyone who reminds her of her son. If I read it correctly, it wont be a shock to the reader when she kills the person at work because she has already killed so many people. Maybe, you could have her not kill the people who executed her son and then that prays on her over time, perhaps she had to run from them too because they were trying to get her also and then lives a normal life to blend in with society and maintain her disguise, but begins to think about killing more and more, then over the course of your chosen time period she snaps and kills an innocent person, this could then set her on the path to finding her sons murderers.

 

Yeah my original post is quite flawed. I am surprised people keep coming here. Maybe I should update the opening post.

The thread has help me reshape the idea. Which is now like this;
She kills most of them. The one that killed her son escapes. She chases after. A man encounters her. They work together and catch the killer killing him. In the process she becomes emotionally attached to the new person and decides to work for him. He turns her into a mercinary.

Seem fitting?

 

So, is she set to kill this guy when she snaps? I like your idea, I'm really drawn to sci-fi/ supernatural stories especially those taking place in a post apocalyptic or dystopian setting. (I don't think yours is but for some reason I imagine it like that)

Good luck with your story How're you coming along with it? I've only just started writing again after putting the hypothetical pen down for a long time.

 

I think she snaps before she kills her sons killer but that moment. It not feeling better afterward. That probably pushed her over the line.

Well, summing up my world like that is hard. See this girl becomes a soldier in the man's army. She goes accross the universe killing people. So she kind of turns places into apocaltyptic setting. Until she is finally stopped which moves into the final shift change which leads her into being forced to come to terms with what she did in the after life.


I kind of already wrote this book. The book started with her dead and flashbacked to her life. I am trying to rewrite it in chronological order due to a beta readers suggestion.

How are you? I hope well.

 

Sounds awesome!

I'm very well, thanks! Since deciding to start writing again, I've made it my mission to write every day but I haven't done anything yet because I haven't finished my outline. I hate the planning part but I've realised how important it is due to me going off on a tangent or getting frustrated because I don't know how to carry the story forward. Gah! Why'd I decide to do this again? lol

 

Lo

Lots of post it notes. My first novel I wrote was outlined almost entirely on post its. Love em.

 

Haha! That's brilliant. I suppose it also means you can stick them where you want them to come up in the story. Great idea! How many novels have you written?

 

One good way would be to progressively have her do these acts again and again for repetition sake. But as the story goes on, detail her thought processes to show the mental descent. She could start off as extremely remorseful and possibly shocked growing more and more to the end result of either being thrilled or just entirely numb.

 

Tricky part is how can you do this without being boring?

 

Give her maybe some interesting setups for the "deed" maybe one time she lures someone into a false sense of security, another being an "accidental" running someone through a guard rail on a tight mountain path, torture etc.

You could have her be extremely easy to trigger by her being so jaded. One slight goof or abnormality she perceives could easily end someone's life.

I remember this type of deal from a book I read Eye Candy where the killer was offing women he met online for just normal things. Something reminded him of his mother that he hated. Something on the woman looked off. Etc. One time he was having a normal date and he realized he didn't like the woman's "manly" fingers, he kills her, cut off her fingers and the next morning is eating cereal and using the dismembered fingers as makeshift drumsticks. Sometimes he only fantasized about killing but did nothing so it really left me in suspense.

Crazy crap like that can really go places if you do it right, having the reader worry if this nice supporting character is gonna die or not because he sneezed or something is actually pretty tense.

 

My immediate thought was "Dexter"?

Let me ask, in your opinion would she had become this killer if she had not witness the killing of her son? The reason I ask is to determine if the Psychosis was in place and the killing of her son was the trigger.

Or, if the killing of her son brought about the psychosis. If the first, if she's triggered, then her follow-up murders should have a similar trigger. If the second, then you have a loose cannon that could be expected to do anything.

 

That is a hard one. Well she lived alone. Taking care of her son was all she had. So it isn't like not witnessing it would have lessened the blow much. But the fact he died scaed, in pain as she was holding him. While the murders shouted orders about killing her next. Yeah that probably added to it.

 

on post it notes or elsewhere? hahaha. no, i have only the one, and an outline for two sequels. right now i am working on a sort of pseudo memoir. i actually joined this to get some feedback on it. i was in prison for a long time you see. so i wrote a sort of memoir that is half dreams and half essays, with another deminsioned half that is actual stories. and then i wrote a novel at the end right before i got out, it started on post its, now its scribbled on paper in a drawer awaiting me to finish my memoir.