1. La_Donna
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    La_Donna Member

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    Tiny plot fault...

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by La_Donna, Dec 8, 2012.

    Okay, so in my story I have "Hannah" who can see ghosts. She is being employed by "Victoria", whose husband, a noted drunk and wife beater, has recently disappeared. Hannah knows that the husband died (because she can see his ghost) but no one believes her, and she attempts to discover who killed him to help him move on. There are several suspects but the actually murderers are "Sykes" (a violent thug who owns the neighbourhood to whom the husband owed lots of money) and "Walpole" (a wealthy politician who likes to present himself as a philanthropist, but is actually corrupt. He is also obsessed with Victoria).

    In the end I want it to be revealed that it was Walpole who killed the husband due to wanting to take over the business and because of his obsession with Victoria. However, I want Sykes to be in on it too, as he is the local crime boss, but I can't work out why he would work with Walpole and close a business that is paying him protection money.

    If anyone has any ideas, it would be a great help!

    Oh, and by the way, it's set in London in the 1790s :)
     
  2. cmshepard
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    cmshepard Member

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    Maybe character D wants to force character A out of a job because character D is in love with character A? Or maybe character D has it out for character a?

    I have confused myself. XD
     
  3. La_Donna
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    La_Donna Member

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    I've confused myself with not giving them names yet! Some of them don't have names! In the narrative, Character C has had relatively little contact with Character A, who has only been in crowds when C has appeared, or has heard what he has done through friends. There is also another sub-plot (which I have sorted out) where Character A already has an unrequited love thing for another character, so I don't really wanted to add another "love interest" for her. Another complicating factor is that Character A is mixed race, something which in 1790s London may have been looked down upon, and characters such as Character C are always looking down on her, but it's not a big enough reason for Character C to want to ruin her life.
     
  4. cmshepard
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    cmshepard Member

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    Maybe it's an old family thing? Lol, I'm the queen of crazy plots but I can't seem to help out much.

    And yeah, that was actually almost an unheard of thing back then. No class for mixed race, usually.
     
  5. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    Perhaps the two made a deal. X wanted to take over Y's business (I've given up on A through D) So he wanted Y dead, but was too chicken to do it himself. He knew that Y owed Z a lot of money. And he knew that Y couldn't pay. Z of course wants his money, but if Y won't pay, he's going to be left empty handed. So X goes to Z and says, knock off Y he's a dud investment, I'll take over the business and you'll start getting paid again. It's win / win!

    Cheers, Greg.
     
  6. GazingAbyss
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    GazingAbyss Member

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    Ok, there's definitely a typo here, but if I'm reading you right, D killed B's husband, but you want C to have been in on it even though C has no reason to work with D and C would want the protection money to keep coming.

    If I've got that right, then how about going all the way with the corrupt politician thing? Like, maybe C is giving D a cut to make cops look the other way in his neighbourhood, and now that D wants B's better half out of the way, he's threatening to revoke his support, or even back another local crime lord if he doesn't help.
     
  7. La_Donna
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    La_Donna Member

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    Thanks guy's, that's really helpful! The really annoying thing is the corrupt politician is in the other love story plot line, as the evil step-father of my main character's love interest, so he never really get's outted for what he is. Unless I get the crime boss to take the fall for it, I can't work out how my main character is going to stop the villain!
     
  8. WoodenPaw
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    WoodenPaw Member

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    Umm..tell me few things. Can A talk to ghosts too? if A can talk then can A make ghosts to work for them? if yes, then why not use ghosts to spy on C and D to get valuable information. also if No, then Only A knows that B's husband is dead and A can do some kind of casual chat/interrogation with C to check his reaction on mere mention of B's Husband death's profit/loss scenario. Well yes, A needs to be brave in this situation. One more thing whats A occupation which makes B to employ A? is this ghost seeing makes her so important that B employs her or she is affiliated with some detective or law personal?
     
  9. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Oh my gosh please just call them Mary and Bob or something! In your original post you also made a mistake at the end with Character D wanting to work with Character D. Seriously, it's not such an effort to have them fake names, it doesn't mean you have to use it!

    By the by, were you inspired by Ghost Whisperer by any chance :D

    Sorry my reply cannot be more helpful - but I didn't really understand your original post... o_O
     
  10. SuperVenom
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    SuperVenom Contributing Member

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    I the murder persons ghost being troublesome to Character A? Otherwise im not sure the readers will care if she is trying to get a drunk thugs ghost to the other side.
     

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