1. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    To Have A Crush On Someone?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Cacian, Jan 16, 2012.

    How often do you have a 'crush on someone'?
    and
    Is it the same as falling in love?
     
  2. akexodia
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    akexodia Member

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    The world that my mind spawns!
    Theoretically, Everytime the eyes gaze someone gorgeous, the mind yells out "WOW!"
    Extend that for a few days with the same person as the focal point, we get a crush!! (I'm kind of past that stage :p)
    When that "crush" starts stimulating the poet within, there, i'd say the real thing starts which we term as love. (I guess that is why the word 'romantic' is used in poetry world with two meanings: nature and love. cuz both of them stimulates the poetic mind beyond compare!)

    And, THAT was the poet within talking! ;)
     
  3. VM80
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    VM80 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Not that often these days.

    It's not the same as love. By its definition, love has to be a two-way deal. A crush is usually one-sided infatuation and often short-lived, or 'liking someone from a safe distance'.
     
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  4. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Having a crush on someone isn't the same as being in love, it's just finding something attractive in another person.

    I don't have as many 'crushes' as I used to, but then again, I'm not allowed to on account of my girlfriend :p. I have been with my girlfriend four years now, and we have a really strong connection. If that isn't love then I don't know what is.
     
  5. Eunoia
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    Eunoia Contributing Member Contributor

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    Crushes and love are definitely not the same. Crushes are more a fleeting attraction to someone. It doesn't last very long and it's not very deeply felt, it's lust. Falling in love consumes you. It's a lasting and strong emotion.

    That's my take on it anyway.
     
  6. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    very interesting.
    I was just about to ask wether Mutual Crushes exist?
    It made me think thank you VM8O:)
     
  7. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    I never thought that crushes are to do with looks but then I guess it is a personal thing rather then a samy one for everyone.
    I smiled when I read that ''you were not allowed on account of...'':)
    It is kind difficult not to even when it is not allowed because whilst we can control many things, feelings are one thing no one really can control or disguise.
    I kind agree and not agree because I tend to think that a crush leads to a more fruitful prospect in that one can have a crush and fall in love long term or afterwards too.
    Both my relationships were a crush and I am still with my second partner.
    falling in love is easy keeping it up is consuming because a relationship is more then a walk in the park, I consider it to be hard work and not easily reached. Love is not easy that is for sure but can get easier once pass the hardest bits.
     
  8. cruciFICTION
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    cruciFICTION Contributing Member Contributor

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    Of course mutual crushes exist. That's usually the stage in a relationship where you're not in love, but you both really like each other with more than just lust.

    Crushes are a kind of love, though. You're not really in love with the person. You're in love with the idea of them. You're in love with what could happen. It's a stage full of ifs and maybes, and there aren't any flaws to deal with. You know you've got someone pretty special if you go through a strong crush and you're not disappointed when you really get to know them.
     
  9. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    A lot of crushes are based on looks, and a list of other small reasons that when you think back are very silly. My girlfriend doesn't like me watching Dr. Who because I find the assistant attractive - and it's not just her Scottish accent either, though that does help. I've never met the actor personally, and can't say what she is like as a person.

    But 'love' (as I think of it anyway) is something different. My girlfriend and I met in one of the worst possible situations for building a romance on, but we started talking, slowly became friends, and that relationship slowly grew until we really started to appreciate each other, and form a really strong connection that has lasted four years and still appears to be going strong. It seems somehow fatalistic to say this but I guess I really do love my girlfriend.
     
  10. Cacian
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    Cacian Banned

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    I see. Do you still watch it anyway?
    I am one who cannot possibly find anyone attractive off a screen..call me strange but that is me. I have never been able ot nor care for anyone off a screen on the grounds of their looks or fame. I guess I am lucky I do not related to people physically or mentally that way which makes my life and those around me easier. I cannot imagine being told or telling anyone not to watch something in the fear of liking someone's looks.
    It is that boring I know.:)
    The only time I can relate to anyone is actually face to face.

    Interesting concept. Do you see romance and love as a perfect meeting place where too perfect people meet?
    How do you mean by the worst possible situation?Do you mean the place where you met or the state you were in when you met?
     
  11. hoggyboy
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    definitely not the same as falling in love and i havent had a crush with anyone for a long LONG time lol, since my gf and i parted late last year
     
  12. Cacian
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    the more of a reason to have a crush I would say!
     
  13. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Yip

    No - love to me is just a strong romantic connection between two people.

    Both, really. I'm not going to go into detail, just because it's a long story, but it involved me and her then-boyfriend having a fight because of something-I-don't-remember. She being embarrassed because her then boyfriend was also bullying her (he was an asshole) and her ignoring me for a long time. Eventually though, after some chance meetings, we eventually got talking and things just sort of took off.
     
  14. Heather
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    Understandable, Karen Gillan is beautiful, and the Scottish accent does help ;)

    In regards to crush versus love, I think that is over simplifying the matter - there isn't just the two types of romantic feelings for someone. You can be going out with someone for a while, and care a lot for them, more than a crush, but not love them still.

    That being said, I'd say that having a crush on someone is not simply finding them attractive - I find lots of people attractive, but it doesn't mean I have a crush on them. I think to have a crush on them, there has to be something else there where you would like to have relations with them, even if that is only a short-felt feeling (which a lot of crushes turn out to be).

    In regards to love, well I think that is up to the individual, and the individual relationships to decide. I personally don't believe you can love someone with going out with them, as you don't know that person fully on an intimate level, which is personally important for love. Others may disagree, and people can find love over the internet etc, which doesn't have that intimate side. Like I said, it really is up to the individual and how they feel.
     
  15. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    youngsters tend to have 'crushes' and adults 'fall in love' [which i consider more 'falling in lust/heat']...

    in my youth, i never had a crush on anyone 'real'... just some hunky movie stars... 'fell in love/heat' for the first time at 14 [with a hunky 22-year-old...just short of 'going all the way' thank goodness!], did so too many more times after that to be comfortable admitting, till i gave it all up as total nonsense some 4 decades+ later...
     
  16. prettyprettyprettygood
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    It's actually quite interesting to see people's different interpretations of these terms. To me a crush is wholly shallow, based on looks and perhaps personality, on a superficial level. I have crushes on loads of blokes off the tv (mmm, Danes). Falling in love requires you to know someone personally, it takes the crushy feelings and adds a deeper affection, and most importantly you start to really care about the other person and want nothing but the best for them. Then, when you've finished falling and the excitement has eased off and you're just plain 'in love' you have a nice cozy combination of attraction and caring for each other, which if you're lucky can last and last.
     
  17. Protar
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    The internet must be a sad and sorry place for you :p. In any case I think there are three stages of attraction:

    .Fwoar: When you think someone is attractive purely on looks. It's shallow but it happens and really I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking someone is attractive.

    .Crush: A crush is in between love and fwoar. It probably comes about from liking someone who you find physically attractive and then muddling the two up into thinking it's love. A crush can get pretty obsessive.

    .Then there's love. Love is like a crush a hundred times over. I'm not sure exactly whether I've been "in love" but I've had a crush before considerably stronger than all the others, and the recipient used to be my closest female friend. And now it might be happening again. I know that this one is particularly strong because I also have a crush on another girl (manwhore that I am :p) so I've got a direct comparison.
     
  18. Ayo
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    I have crushes very often because I go to a bohemian college where we are all very promiscuous. Oh let me tell you about them. I remember last summer at this house party I met this Korean girl who didn't speak a lick of English but we could communicate our ideas well enough so we dated a little while which consisted of me talking in English and her nodding, or her talking in Koreanglish and me nodding, and her showing me subtitled romance films, and me taking her to eat Indian food and showing her the city. Then she went to Korea and I never saw her again.
     
  19. Anarchist_Apple84
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    Anarchist_Apple84 Senior Member

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    Unlike every other college/University in the world... ;)

    I don't really get crushes anymore. I'm 27 not 16! haha. When I was a teenager I had a thing for rugby players though.
     
  20. Cacian
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    what has the Internet got to do with crush?
    It is not my fault if I am indifferent to screen people. I feel nothing towards anyone on screen goodlooking or not, I could not. It is a screen I am looking at and not a person I am afraid that is me.
     
  21. Cacian
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    what is a bohemian school?
    aww the story is so cute...haha..:)

    27 is nothing!! and since when crushes are limited to a number! hehe..you would be surprised of the amount of crushes a second, 16 or 60....:D
     
  22. Cacian
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    you put it so well. It is true cozy is cool but friendly and funny is better.
     
  23. Anarchist_Apple84
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    It was a frankly pretentious way of saying his school is full of unconventional but likeminded individuals, who apparently have sex a lot. That describes every University in the world!
     
  24. Ayo
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    Yes it was cute. I have a thing for innocent girls, especially innocent foreign girls. It's like they have formed a world in their head where they can always go to be a little girl again.. no homo but that is beautiful and maybe how we all should be. The language barrier makes it better.. as they say two languages equals two souls.. so learning each other's language is a real intertwining in a way. Bohemian is a word that literally means "vagabond" or like.. traveler. Something like that. In modern society it generally means living in a way that might be considered taboo or not normal.
     
  25. Ayo
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    Jeez how pretentious am I? I tend to be so maybe I was but it really is more bohemian than other universities and that's why I said it, not that bohemian is good or bad it just is. There's a large number of art and music colleges all focused in a very small area and it creates an interesting environment.
     

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