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  1. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Too nice?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by GuardianWynn, Oct 23, 2015.

    I just read something and I suddenly was thinking about love and relationships and stuff in writing. And I was thinking about this one character. I wonder what you guys think. On some days, I think he is a really sweet character. Other days, I think he is a failure that is creepy.


    Okay. Not gonna drop a name, I don't like it anyway. He is compulsive. Likes doing things the same way every time. Like walking the same route to his home or to the local cafe. Is seriously annoyed if anything stops him from doing such. He is smart. Super genius! Like graduated highschool at 11. Finished college by 17. Was teaching college by 19. He is a simple man too. He has money but never spends it. The premise is that he is so smart companies ask him to freelance for them. He accepts often. His terms are usually just materials but he usually gets a check. He refuses to work for any of them, because he wants to be the boss of what he does.

    Okay where the love comes in. In college, at fifteen. He loved a fellow student, she was also a genius, even smarter. She was fourteen when she discovered she was sick. In the self destructive cycle of it, she tried to sleep with him. He refused in spite of his love. He felt she would regret it. In the shame of rejection she ran away. Before so though, he said would always be at a cafe once a week, so that she could always have a way to find him.

    The thing is, he always was. 8 years pass and she never shows up. Yet he goes every week, same time. He waits. The place goes out of business and he buys it to keep it running. He will not under any condition not be there. Sick? Doesn't matter. The president of the united states wishes to meet him at that day and time? Nope. Million dollars? Nope. God him self comes down? Nope.

    At one point someone asks him this. "She was sick. What if she is dead? Are you going to keep coming here? Your entire life?"

    His reply is one word. "Yes."


    What do you guys think?
     
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  2. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    My first reaction is that this is a man who just can't move on. Eight years is a very long time, too long to be obsessing over a girl he's likely never going to see again.
     
  3. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    That is true. Well like I said. He intents to keep doing this for his entire natural life. So... yeah. He has issues.

    Does he seem interesting? Or is it just creepy?
     
  4. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    It's very teenager-ish but cute.
     
  5. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Well...he's interesting bordering creepy. I do kind of want to know more about him just to see where he's going to end up. Basically, I wouldn't have a problem reading about him.
     
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  6. Masked Mole
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    Masked Mole Contributing Member

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    Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't write or read hardly anything romantic, but this grabs me. I absolutely love this idea.
    Please give him some reward for his time and effort though, even if he doesn't win her.
     
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  7. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Let me put it this way. There is a reason I didn't say 9 years of waiting. lol
     
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  8. Masked Mole
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    Masked Mole Contributing Member

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    Okay, good. Having his corpse rot in an abandoned cafe would have been rather unsatisfying.
     
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  9. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    lol

    So you don't think he is creepy?

    I kind of forgot he is a teenager when this start.
     
  10. Kingtype
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    Kingtype Always writing or thinking things XD Staff Role Play Moderator Contributor

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    I thought you were @Link the Writer with that new avatar :supergrin:
     
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  11. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    He's copying me. >:[ Now I'm gonna have to be stuck with Shamu here until he gets bored with his avatar. Isn't there a copyright claim here, because I think he's ripping me off.
     
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  12. Kingtype
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    Kingtype Always writing or thinking things XD Staff Role Play Moderator Contributor

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    Orrrrrr

    You could use adult Link as opposed to tooooon?
     
  13. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Now you've given me an idea...
     
  14. Starfire Fly
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    Starfire Fly Member

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    I don't think he's creepy. For one thing, his IQ would explain his eccentricity. The really smart do tend to seem like "too much" to the ordinary. There's a ton of research trying to explain why, and the various forms those eccentricities can take. I'm sure you could look into that if you feel you need some grounding for the story.

    I also don't think his behavior is adolescent, though his being a teenager when this starts (and therefore still pretty young and idealistic even during the "present") makes it seem even more plausible, I guess.

    I agree with Masked Mole. This really grabs me, and I would definitely want to read a story like this. And the fact that they're both geniuses makes it so much more interesting. Gifted personalities tend to be more intense, and at least in general, far more interesting to me.

    Good luck with this!
     
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  15. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Thanks. lol.

    Funny enough. Someone once asked me how he works with ethics. Like if someone asked him to do research and he realized it could be turned into a weapon. Would he turn it down?

    The answer I realized is this.

    He would accept the research if he wanted to know the answer. If he felt it dangerous to release the information. He wouldn't. He would lie and tell the company he failed. Which considering he is the best would most likely cause them to abandon the project as he is not known for failing unless it can't be done. Though he would document it and keep it in a book for just his eyes.

    Figured you might have found that interesting.
     
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  16. Lady Marmalade
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    Lady Marmalade Member

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    I don't find it creepy, I find it tragic. No matter what happens he can't let go of the possibility of being with her, even just a chance to see her again is worth all his time wasted sitting alone in a cafe and nothing is going to convince him to move on. It's fascinating and opens up a lot of possibility for conflict.

    What if there's a catastrophic emergency going on with one of his projects and if he doesn't go to the company to fix it then it will result in a massive explosion killing billions of people. Yet, he gets this call at 8 o' clock when he's already sitting at the cafe, waiting for her. Does he leave the cafe knowing that maybe this time she'll actually come only to find he isn't there? Or does he leave billions of people to die because he can't let go of another chance at seeing her again?

    That's why it's tragic to me, he's stuck in an endless loop of hope waiting to see if she'll come for him... but she never does.
     
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  17. Starfire Fly
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    Starfire Fly Member

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    @GuardianWynn All right, now he definitely sounds like the kind of man I'd like to read about.
     
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  18. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Actually that can't exactly happen. See he never accepted a job because of that reason. He is a college teacher. He refused to accept a job with a big company because of what you just said. He does free lance but it is on his time and he makes sure everything is off and safe for that day.

    But if someone like said. "We need your blood to save a life! Come to the hospital."

    His reply probably would be. "No. Come to me."

    It is tragic isn't it? One of the brightest minds never went to the big companies because he refused to be away from that cafe.

    Now I feel sad that I haven't actually written anything about him yet. lol.
     
  19. Starfire Fly
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    Starfire Fly Member

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    Well, you should probably change that, lol. Seriously, I think you're overthinking this, worrying about something that isn't really a problem. Just make it a good story, and let the characters be more or less who they are. Now, if you tried to make hideously evil people your protagonists and demand sympathy for them, that would be different; but unusual, strange, or even foolish is completely workable. I've seen a lot of good protagonists who I wanted at times to smack over the head. Frustration at a sympathetic protagonist's choices can actually go a long way toward keeping the reader engaged.
     
  20. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    Oh. Lack of writing wasn't due to thinking.

    This character is part of a universe of mine and he doesn't appear until book 2 of a series. I was still working on book 1.

    Though you have made me realize something. Originally he had little screen time and most of his actions were implied and off screen. But he deserves more or a lot of screen time. :D
     
  21. No-Name Slob
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    No-Name Slob Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I'm not an incredibly sappy person, and I don't really like romance genres, but this is adorable. Run with it. Not sure how I feel about the backstory, though, in all honesty. I mean, none of it is realistic which is fine, but the odds of two teenage geniuses meeting in college is hard to get behind, even with all the whimsy.
     
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  22. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    It wasn't by mistake. They didn't bump into each other randomly.

    They were gifted, so they were part of a gifted classroom. They were probably the top students though. lol
     
  23. Starfire Fly
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    Starfire Fly Member

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    Ah. I'm stuck in a similar conundrum with needing to set up a whole universe before telling the stories I really want to tell in it. Not saying you're stuck when you want to jump forward, but...well, I am. lol. I'm on book one as well. Still trying to figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be.

    Kudos on planning out your whole series so well ahead of time. And yes, I think he does deserve a lot more screen time. :) Ditto for the whole gifted college program. Many beautiful minds to tangle and fuck each other up.
     
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  24. GuardianWynn
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    GuardianWynn Contributing Member Contributor

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    I am usually up for a dialogue if there is anything spefic you want to talk about. You are free to PM me. :) I would be happy to help if I can.

    At this point I am convinced! I am no good. My ideas exceed my writing ability! I am doomed! lol. But you just reminded me of another aspect you might like. lol. Being, as I said in this thread. She eventually does arrive. She is a fighter. Remember how I told you he has a little book of weapon concepts he never shows anyone? lol Care to take a guess where I am going with this? lol
     
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  25. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    You want to rough it up a little?

    Maybe back in the day he was bus boy down the chicken ranch, rodeo lay-by, trucker stop: any girl for a couple of bucks ran boss Dogg's merchandising slogan back in the day. Jasmina, our hero, escapes from this foul world of cruelty, deserts mother, the cat ladies and their johns, yet she remembers young Salman polished tables, his ash trays shone, and her eyes reflected in the underside glass. He spied her twinkle through this glass, how his heart aches today. She returns, a successful city lawyer drives through the old dusty town, is curious as to to life's highway. The ranch is still there, but now Salman manages the same property, a porcupine sanctuary, sweeps her off feet, a rejuvenated romance upon page thirty-five. Some folk don't like it, developers want no porcupine, they want good ole sexual transaction among the cacti, gambling, and Jack Daniels - the property has to be saved for the porcupine. Jasmina defends Salman's flimsy inheritance claim, has legal facilities...

    What I mean is I like your idea. In writing it out - the central premis, the sitting in the cafe might seem weak, but drafting through it'll become more robust and believable.
     

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