I was having a discussion with somebody, and they laughed when I told them that I take friendships seriously. Why is that a bad thing? Isn't it important to take friendships seriously? What do you guys think about it?
That's a tough question. I want to say it's worth taking all friendships seriously, but I guess it depends on a lot of things. Friends come and go, and for the most part that's good enough. I've had lots of friends over the years. Some lastet a few weeks, or even days, and some lastet many years. But in the end, I didn't really care about loosing them. Most just faded away, so to say. It could be simply one of us moving away for a new job or new school, and we lost touch. No big deal, really. Yet, every now and then you run into someone you really start to care about, and who feels more like a brother or sister than just a friend. These friendships are the ones who lasts the longest, and those are absolutely worth taking seriously and fighting for.
I agree with WriterDude. There are friendships by convenience, i.e. you work with them and you start hanging out together, but when you leave that place of employment (for the most part) those friends usually fall to the way side. I'm not big on having tons of acquaintances and I have a very small core group of friends that I have known 10+years (and one of those people is my sister). I take those friendships fairly seriously, but people change and some times you grow apart no matter how much you try to keep the friendship together.
All of my friends are important to me, and all of the friends that I've drifted away from or lost along the way I still remember fondly. Do I take friendships seriously? Yes. As I take friends themselves seriously. I enjoy having people around me, and thankfully people seem to like being around me too, but there are some friends I hold more dear than others. It is all relative to be honest.
I don't know him personally so anything I say will only be a guess. At a guess I would say it's because he doesn't feel comfortable admitting a relationship as being platonic - some people are just like this, and find it hard expressing their feelings. Even find it hard admitting to it themselves. I'm guessing your friend didn't mean any harm, it was just a defense mechanism against expressing (or admitting) an emotional friendship. But this is just a guess.
Some people don't form deep friendships, only shallow connections. Why would such a person take friendship seriously? I form a small number of deep friendships, and a somewhat larger number of casual friendships. But I never forget there is a person there, so in that sense I take all friendships seriously. There's a dipstick test. If someone will badmouth a "friend" as soon as the friend is out of earshot, that person is a dipstick.
Some people don't form deep friendships, only shallow connections. Why would such a person take friendship seriously? I form a small number of deep friendships, and a somewhat larger number of casual friendships. But I never forget there is a person there, so in that sense I take all friendships seriously. There's a dipstick test. If someone will badmouth a "friend" as soon as the friend is out of earshot, that person is a dipstick.
Time has taught me that I shouldn't take friendships seriously, because too many people take you for granted. I admit that it's a very cynical viewpoint, but I've had to learn the hard way that I shouldn't get too attached to people. People have their own lives, and it's the same whether it's friends or family, but nobody will be at your side in the long run. By no means should you be dismissive of the friendship of others, but be careful about what stock you put into it, for when the clouds come or the seasons pass, they'll be gone.
I think that there are serious friendships and there are casual friendships, and it saves a lot of heartache to accept the difference, and to accept that only a very small percentage of friendships will become serious friendships. Now, you might not even call the casual friends "friends" - you might call them acquaintances. And I wouldn't necessarily disagree with you. But the world in general uses the word "friend" for almost anyone that you know and might occasionally consider having lunch with, and the world isn't going to change its vocabulary.
Mostly my friends were situational friends. When I was young my cousins were good friends. When I grew to be a little older I had a friend who lived close to me. We stayed friends throughout childhood into our teen years. Then I had my drinking buddies in my teens. Then I got a job and found work friends. Quit those jobs and really found myself back with my highschool friends. Those friends who you find your way back to I believe are the ones you should care about. Though I think their usually the ones you have to care the least about, because you know they will always be there.
Was it not an awkward laugh? Depending on the context if someone said 'I take friendships seriously' to me, I'd be a bit 'Well, okay then!' and might chuckle, just because it's an odd thing to feel the need to state. But it all depends on the context, and really your best bet would have been to ask them why they laughed at the time.
