1. W. E. Burrough
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    W. E. Burrough Member

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    Trap Scene

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by W. E. Burrough, May 16, 2012.

    Okay, in my novel six kids are abducted by extraterrestrials and only three of the six kids are returned to Earth. While in the hospital, Blaire is drugged by a Reptilian and threatened, told if she spoke to the authorities or her parents of her threats everyone around her would get killed. The Reptilian wants to kill Blaire due to her status as a bastard Parter, a human infused with Grey alien genes. Reptilians, the shock troops and police of the intergalactic government, Neo-AFTR, have an innate instinct to hunt Greys and their offspring, making Blaire and her friends targets.

    Now, Blaire realizes that the woman posing as a nurse isn't quite who she says she is. She's not a human, in fact, she hates humans to the point of it being odd, seeming to inexplicably loathe Blaire even more. Knowing the woman would come after her, Blaire devised a plan with her two friends to trap their would-be assailant.

    I've been told the distraction provided by a recording device, a bow and arrow set, tripwires, an intercom system throughout the house, a homemade flash grenade and colored-smoke bombs they sell at the firework stands is too "extravagant", especially since the whole point of the plan was for Blaire to be able to sneak up behind her with a bat without getting hurt.

    I think they're right, it feels too 'Home Alone'. But, I couldn't think of another scenario culminating in an alien dozens of times stronger than them getting knocked unconscious so as to allow Blaire to nail gun her to the floor. I mean, it's sensible an intelligent person wouldn't just come up against an unknown force head on, right? In this scene, the plot moves forward while, at the same time, providing character development for Blaire and showing off her intelligence - setting the stage for a legal Reptilian Parter and hunter to become impressed by her. Her, the hunter's, whole life soon becomes nothing but Blaire, attempting to kill her and love her in unison, her already fractured mind becoming even more cracked as their game of intergalactic cat and mouse continues through the years.

    So, yeah, this scene is pretty freakin' important and I can't come up with anything subtle, yet impressive. Help me out here, please? xD
     
  2. indy5live
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    indy5live Active Member

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    K, I don't have a clue what's going on here in your story but it sounds like 3 humans were released by extraterrestrials and are now in a hospital together and need to avoid being killed by this nurse? Is it important that they trap her or can they just make an escape? If they have to capture the nurse who has a heighten scene of awareness then how about crafting a diversion? If these people have access to a fireworks stand I'm sure they can cause some commotion that will distract the nurse long enough to hit her over the head and tie her down. Fire alarms, water sprinklers, emergency flares, electrical fuses...there are plenty of useful tools at the hospital that can make for a believable "Home Alone" trap that three people could easily pull off.

    Sorry if Im wrong and misunderstood your plot.
     
  3. Oko
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    Oko Member

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    I don't know if this works with your plot, as your circumstances are a tad vague. How about loss of balance? Imagine: Blaire devises a plan with her friends involving friends A and B waiting until the evil nurse reaches the top of a staircase. The nurse takes two steps forward after scaling the stairs, then friend A charges at the nurse while screaming as loud as she can. Friend B takes the opportunity to lie down behind the stunned nurse. Friend A leaps at the nurse, causing her the step back far enough to trip over friend B and down the staircase. Friend A almost falls with the nurse, but is saved by friend B at the last moment. The nurse is knocked unconscious and subsequently subdued by Blaire. Of course, it might look better if Blaire charged at the nurse along side friend A.

    Just my two cents- I back myself into corners all of the time. Sometimes the only solution is large amounts of plot editing.
     
  4. Ettina
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    Ettina Active Member

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    Do the aliens have some sort of weakness they could exploit?

    For a real-life example, take baboons and leopards. By day, baboons are big, tough creatures who travel in groups, and a leopard does not want to tangle with them. Baboons also have better color vision than most animals, while enables them to see through camouflage more easily, so they often spot stalking leopards and start shrieking and alerting everything around that there's a predator. It's pretty hard for a leopard to sneak up on a baboon by daytime.

    But at night, baboons are almost blind, while leopards can see just fine. Leopards quite often hunt baboons at night. In fact, sometimes they'll climb up a tree that baboons are resting in, and deliberately make noise while climbing so the baboons will start to panic. As a result, the baboons start frantically climbing around, often cornering themkselves or maybe even slipping and falling. It's pretty easy for a leopard to catch one in that confusion.

    In interspecies conflicts, very often the dynamics change drastically based on the individual species' strengths and weaknesses.
     

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