1. krosangnomelord
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    krosangnomelord Member

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    Two Short Summaries

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by krosangnomelord, Aug 31, 2007.

    For my recently finished novel, I've written two summaries. Neither is going to be called "completed", but I would like to discern between the two, maybe choose which one is more catching, more informative, and more interesting.

    Thanks for any help you can provide.
    ----------
    (First Summary)

    In a society filled with violence and deluded with improbable solutions, what's to stop a revolt? Some revenge on the ones who feed our children bullets full of ignorant wisdom; something we don't believe in, but we're told we're supposed to? How do we cope with ourselves and our beliefs when we're told we are wrong? Who is right?

    My name is not important, but my purpose is. Without me there would be no point to this story. I was the beginning and I will most definitely be the end. Once it's over, there is no going back. I fear the worst, but declare I have no regrets.

    The power is the Law. They rule this city. They tell us if we do anything wrong, we will die. Is this fair? Is it just? Where do we draw the line between right and wrong? And how are we supposed to live by rules that we don't understand?

    I have found something special. I have become apart of a single thriving tidal wave, an organic wrap around this city; some pulsing, gushing, dying piece of biological waste that exists in the bowels of the blocks. We will destroy the Law that tells us what to do, what believes in order. We will redefine human nature, and break the laws that bind us to life.

    What is life anyway? The only way to die, after all.

    -----
    (Second Summary)

    By boredom and curiosity, Rafael opens himself up to a life that he never knew was there. As some colors fade with age; as things become black and white with time, Rafael recedes into a false sense of security. He thinks the gang he is in gives him power. He believes that they are doing things for the good of the city, to destroy the One Law that oppresses them. Do wrong, you die. A simple 'fix all' solution?

    Sheltered by the surrounding, never-ending ocean, this city is one that has fallen long ago. The gangs carry out their demonstrations by night when others are sleeping. While it's easy to say you are fighting for a cause, it isn't easy to actually do so. Once a lonely bookstore owner, ignorant of the world outside of his own, Rafael has found something dark and desirable in this war. He has found an obsession that has been secretly lurking inside of him.

    “Everyone dies,” he narrates, “it doesn't matter how you live. As long as you make it worth something. Even then, you're tricking yourself. You think there's a purpose or a reason to what you do everyday. What's really keeping you from robbing that convenience store down the street? Morals? What stops you from pulling the trigger? Cowardice?”

    Testing both himself and the reader, Rafael is determined to prove that he is right in what he does. He believes he has no regrets, but there are only so many times you can deny that you're wrong. It isn't until he's faced with imminent death, does he finally realize how powerless he is against the ruling dictatorship.

    ---
     
  2. xxkozxx
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    xxkozxx Active Member

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    I would definitely go with the second one. The first one asks too many questions and just doesn't flow well.

    The second one gives more detail about the story and allows you to connect with it a little more I think.

    Although I would probably do some revision on the second one.
     
  3. Daniel
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    Daniel I'm sure you've heard the rumors. Founder Staff Contributor

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    While the first is a little confusing, that one's more interesting to me.
     
  4. krosangnomelord
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    krosangnomelord Member

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    After reading over your replies, and what I wrote, I've decided to make a combination. I've gone more with the first than the second, but tried to be a little more informative or help it flow better. I've also tried to ask less questions, because I think asking too many questions makes it sound like he has no answers. I even answered a few of them with his opinions.

    Fact is, the story is told through his point-of-view, so I like having him narrate the summary. It makes more sense.

    Thank you so much for your comments. My new one is just below:

    ---

    In a society filled with violence and deluded with improbable solutions, what's to stop a revolt? Some revenge on the ones who feed our children bullets full of ignorant wisdom; something we don't believe in, but we're told we're supposed to. How do we cope with ourselves and our beliefs when we're told we are wrong? Who is right?

    The order is the Law. They rule this city. They tell us if we do anything wrong, we will die. This isn't fair. It isn't just. So where do we draw the line between right and wrong? How are we supposed to live by rules that we don't understand? I am not alone in my search for answers. There are others like me, digging through the death in the streets for a purpose; there are gangs that will do anything to give a reason to die for.

    In this, I have found something special. I have become apart of a single thriving tidal wave, an organic wrap around this city; some pulsing, gushing, dying piece of biological waste that exists in the bowels of the blocks. We will destroy the Law that tells us what to do, what believes in order. We will redefine human nature, and break the laws that bind us to life.

    What is life anyway? The only way to die, after all.
     
  5. Daniel
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    Daniel I'm sure you've heard the rumors. Founder Staff Contributor

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    Your new summary/outline sounds fascinating to me. I'd absolutely love to read whatever you make from it.
     

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