1. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    u know what...

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by pyrox91992, Sep 23, 2007.

    i think i said long ago that i hate myself completely, and now that i think about it i really dont. the part about me that i love is the part of me that loves mon amour. i cant hate that part of me cause i love her so much :) o, and i got her a triple diamond ring for an x-mas and her b-day present, since her b-day is right after x-mas...center diamond is a canary diamond, the two on the side are just normal diamonds :D i love her so much
     
  2. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    How can you love someone else if you do not love yourself?

    Even the notion of a self-sacrificing love first requires a self to sacrifice. And a self sacrificing love is not a lasting commitment.
     
  3. mypensmysoul
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    mypensmysoul Member

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    Wow, you seem really dedicated to her! Wish I had such a dedicated man in my life. (I always get stuck with the losers and users... :()

    -But Cogito is right. You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself first, so I'm glad you are admitting at least a bit of self love buried inside that self hatred.

    Some advice: Try to realize that you don't hate yourself as much as you think you do. I'm not trying to tell you what to think or what you do think, but I've had quite a few friends on that road you are on, myself included, and it is not a happy road.

    I'm glad that this lady is helping you to realize that. I'm happy that you're beginning to 'see the light,' so to speak.

    P.S. I LOVE H.I.M.!! (Your avatar.)
     
  4. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    thanx mypensmysoul, and yes, i am very dedicated to her, i love her with all my heart, she is my world :D im a hopeless romantic too, and a gentleman, il spoil her both unintentionally and intentionally, even though she wouldnt want me to. but yea, i think she is gonna both love me and kill me for geting her the ring, we are not allowed to b together because we r not allowed to date, so she said i couldnt go out and spend alot of money on her for her b-day/x-mas, but i went and did so anyways, ill let u all know how she reacts when i give it to her :d i hope she likes it:D

    and cogito, i said i love the part of me that loves her, so that means i do love a part of me so i can love her. i just have no self-esteem, never have, but idk, maybe with mon amour's help i will get more of one, for as many compliments and all my loing and sweetnes that i show to her, she tells me that im a good person and tries to say the equivilant to me, though i always seem to leave her speechless :D
     
  5. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Personally, love is best expressed through that which is not material, but then again, words are cheap and love changes according to comformity of expectations and I suppose its a predominate cultural ideology that depth of love equates to the size of the diamond.
     
  6. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    i got her ring with diamonds because i wanted to, she knows i love her and i know she loves me, i just wanted to get her something that i thought she would love for x-mas and her b-day
     
  7. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    pyroxx Cogito is right. Love begins with ones self.
    If you can not love yourself than you can not love another.
    I know it sounds harsh but it is a simple truth. Cogito has been around long enough to know better as have many members on this forum. Sorry if I sound like I am being a bit nasty or rude here, but it is just my opinion.
    You have to love who you and not just the part of you that loves her.
    It is good to know that you have someone who thinks that you are a good person and tells you so. It definately helps to be told by someone you care about that you are a good person.
    Just take it easy and I know I am going to sound nasty here, but don't be too quick to put your heart out on the line. Take it slowly as that way you will prevent yourself from being hurt.

    Torana
     
  8. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with Torana.

    And don't ever tell yourself that you hate yourself, that's possibly the worst thing you could ever say. If your relationship is going to work with this girl you need to get yourself together, enough with this self-pity-self-hate cycle, how old are you? 15? You have plenty of time and personal growth to make, not only do you owe it to yourself but you owe it to your girlfriend and yeah I know it won't be easy and it'll take a very long time to achieve, but if you've decided to love another then you need to have love for yourself to begin with.
     
  9. summer-ray
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    summer-ray Banned

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    Love is both the most beautiful thing in the world, and the ugliest. Its also the most powerful, and should never be underestimated nor mistaken. But the most important love is the love of yourself,by that i do not mean being pig-headed or uppity, but having self confidence, self respect and self pride. If you cannot feel these things for yourself, its highly unlikely that you could truly feel them for another, you may think you do, but maybe what your really feeling is a longing to have the confidence and self love that the other person has. Im not trying to bust your bubble, but think about things before jumping in feet first, you seem somewhat emotionally unstable at this present time in your life, and its no business of mine i know, but concider the effects of this on your loved one.
     
  10. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    ...I'm sorry to have bothered you all, then. I'll keepto myself what I feel and think and do, was in a kind of good mood for once, just wanted to say why, but what good does it ever good to talk about anything. and I am not aiming any of this directly at any of you, but o everyone in an open statement, to all those I've ever talked to, it never does me any good, all I seem to be doing is arming them with heavy artillery to shoot me down. the next post I'll posts will only be for poetry, maybe, maybe the occasional word game

    au revoir

    your hated poet

    p.s. if this pisses any of you off, I don't care anymore, people walk all over me constantly and I never have a problem with it becuase I am used to it, so you will get over it if it pisses you off
     
  11. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    pyroxx we were not having a go at you. I apologise if my comments have upset you in any manner. That was never my intension.
    I was merely giving you encouragement to love yourself more and for the right reasons. Love who you are as you are you and no one else. You are an individual person with your own unique qualities and no one can change that, nor take it away from you.

    Loving yourself for who you are is the most excilerating thing you could ever do as it opens your eyes to so much beauty and wonder that you have shut out for so long. If you are in love then that is ever so wonderful for you. I just encourage you to take care of your heart and not wear it on your sleeve and not get too badly hurt.

    I never intended to hurt you or upset you in any fashion so I do apologise for that. People are merely trying to look out for your best interests believe it or not. It shows that people care.

    I wish you all the luck with your lady friend. I hope things work out for the two of you.
     
  12. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    it wasnt so much u, i am just not having such a good day sry
     
  13. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    WoW! Sounds like a great ring. What a lucky girl. That is to bad that you both aren't allowed to see each other, but seems as though that has not put a hinge in the relationship. Can't wait to hear of her reaction!
    WW
     
  14. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    thank you word wizard :D i will let u all know what she thinks. i am thinking of getting her a diamond necklace to go with it too, but im not sure
     
  15. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    Like you said before... She didn't want you to spend a bunch on her, for fear of being "found out" and such. So my opinion is that the ring certainly sounds like enough. Save the necklace for another time perhaps. You don't want to overwhelm her.....if you feel the need to buy more diamonds....you can send them to meeee...... haha just kidding. Now the tough part is holding out till x mas. Good luck
     
  16. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Yeah, my girlfriend would kill me if I spent loads on her. Means I have to work around prices... I'm not going to put too much here though. She might see.... :p
     
  17. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    lmao i understand banzai, and wordwizard, i may end up sending u something just because im that kinda guy :D
     
  18. summer-ray
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    summer-ray Banned

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    pyrox keep in mind that you made this post for a reason, you wanted opinions and compassion, opinions are like bum holes, everyone has one and they all stink, but flipping out when you find out you dont like what others have to say is immature and also disrespectful to the people you wanted help from in the first place.

    not trying to make enemies here, i just dont like it when people make these kind of posts and its obviously for attention.

    summer
     
  19. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well either way pyroxx it isn't very polite to go off at people for trying to help out. Maybe before you react you should stop and think about what people are trying to do for you for a change instead of just flipping out at them.
     
  20. The Freshmaker
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    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

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    I have so little sympathy for this teenage angst/woe-is-me bull****, it's not even funny.

    What people have already said in this thread, about not being able to love someone if you don't love yourself...it's true. A relationship can't work if you don't feel like you yourself are worthy of love. If all that you say is true, and the only reason you like yourself is the fact that you love her, then you might as well end the relationship now. No girl is going to respect a guy with that little self-esteem; she'll just feel sorry for you. You don't want a relationship based on pity.

    Basically what I'm saying is get some goddamn backbone. Don't be okay with people walking on you. If you live life like that, then you will never have a worthwhile relationship. I'm not saying you should be an asshole. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is what you need.

    Of course, saying this is pointless. You're fifteen, and you don't want to hear it. You're going to learn it the hard way. Everyone does.
     
  21. pyrox91992
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    pyrox91992 Senior Member

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    dont assume to much, freshmaker, just because i dont like the advice i am given doesnt mean tht it goes in one ear and out the other. no, again, i will apologize for flipping out, though it really wants aimed at any of u here, and most of the time i really dont flip out. when ppl say, or do, stuff to me, and it upsets me, i usually am the kid in the corner who doesnt do anything. y? becuase it is a waste of time to do anyhting bak. if someone guy hit me, id hit bak, put ppl talking **** and treating me like that doesnt bother me becuase it has happened most of my life. kinda like how i was beaten as a child, and now the fear of the pain has changed to enjoying it, and i have only one fear and it doesnt even involve me. and freshmaker, i dont want ur sympathy anyways, i dont want anyones sympathy, what good does it do anyways. the thing is, when u come down to it, i could get hit by a car the moment i step outside, and i would be gone, and none of u would ever know and u would all forget about me anyways, with the exception of maybe a handful of people. if u knew me in person then u would all like me better, i tend to vent more online than in real life, and thats because it is easier to talk to someone u cant see sometimes. if u knew me in real life u would see the sweet and caring side that everyone else sees, because that is me. sure, i have my ups and downs, we all do, i am sry that i vent on here and cause any stress or problems :( ill stop posting problems, and that isnt me reacting badly towards wut u r all saying, that is me just being honest and telling u that i am sorry
     
  22. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Pyrox

    Us GIVING you advice proves that in some way we are concerned about you, ever thought of it that way?

    If we were not concerned or even vaguely interested the latter of us would not ever bother responding to your thread.

    The only reason why you understand the majority of the responses as attacks and not advice is because what is being said is not what you want to hear.

    And whilst Freshmaker seems to be grilling you, she is, like me, probably just sick of people who ignore or retaliate negatively towards the advice being given.

    Hating yourself is not normal and should not be accepted.

    You need to get help but first helping yourself.

    Your past, although terrible, should not be used to justify hating yourself, it should be a reason for you get on with your life and to start loving and appreciating the person you are.

    You can never change what you do not acknowledge.

    Also, by all means continue to vent and express your problems here, but be prepared for the response, they will not always be sugar coated.
     
  23. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think you ought to save it for another time, if she's asked you not to spend too much or whatever then she must have her reasons. Also, like somebody else said, it could overwhelm her or make her feel guilty if she doesn't get you as much - even though money shouldn't matter.

    I hope that you can start to feel better about yourself soon, its not a very nice place that you're in and I understand that anything I tell you to do isn't going to make much of a difference. You have to want to feel positive about yourself, and I hope that you do.

    I'm sure that your girl doesn't like that you feel like this? Like you said, she loves you. There is something there to love... find it.

    Price isn't everything and if you love her than you'll respect her wishes :)
     
  24. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    I dunno I think this all blew outta proportion. I think pyroxx was excited about what he had got and wanted to share his excitement. Then everyone comes here and jabs him a little and his excitment goes away. I know thats this forum is for opinions, but I think we need to learn how to judge when to give them and when to let go and give the person some congrats and helpful ideas. I think it is great how everyone is worried about about pyroxx because it shows we all care.(...and I do think that is genuine-which is extra great by the way) but coming in here and using foul language because you don't happen to agree is inapproriate. Anyways I do hope this isn't taken the wrong way it is just an opinion and not meant to start anything.
    cheers
     
  25. The Freshmaker
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    The Freshmaker <insert obscure pop culture reference> Contributor

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    Really, it was well-meant advice.

    I think I've pegged what bothers me in this situation, though. He sounds like a boyfriend I had when I was sixteen. There is a reason that I'm not with that guy anymore.

    In all seriousness though, Pyrox, I'm not trying to be mean. I've had a lot of good and bad relationship experience, and I've read a lot about psychology in relationships. I'm telling you what I see. More than likely, since you're young, you'll just be offended by this, and go off and learn by making your own mistakes. And there's nothing wrong with that; pretty much everyone does it. I think that you could save yourself a lot of grief, though.

    But really, whatever works for you.

    Also, just keep in mind that when you bring your personal life to a public message board, you're giving people license to put in their two cents on it. If you "just want to vent," there are places like Livejournal for that.
     

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