1. Agent Vatani
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    Agent Vatani Active Member

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    Under doing it

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Agent Vatani, Jan 19, 2011.

    I fear I'm under doing it for my novella. I'm working on. I don't worry on over doing it cause I believe on under doing it. I write details, and it's in the POV so I write the 5 scents too. So I'm a bit lost.
    :(
    Help?
     
  2. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Just make sure that your info is being slipped in naturally and not crammed in with a huge infodump. :)
     
  3. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    what's the 'it' you're worried about?... give us some examples...
     
  4. Torkyn
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    Torkyn Member

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    You should be able to tell if your Novel needs more details, but if you can't just ask someone to read it for you. They'll tell you where you need to add in more detail if it's needed.

    You shouldn't stress to much about details like under or over doing it because all it really does is slow down your writing. Just focus on writing in your own voice and then go back and change the details later.
     
  5. Agent Vatani
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    Agent Vatani Active Member

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    Well i had a friend my prolog. (It's a short prolog) Like a page or a page an half. She said, "it was good but small." (She's new to writing..:rolleyes:)

    Here is a example: (Not from my novel I'm not putting it online. Sorry for my grammar)
    Jiza woke up by her mother shouting her name. Jiza moaned and slowly pulled the blankets off of her and swung her legs to the edge of the bed before riasing up to her feet. She glanced at the clock it was only 8:00 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

    Is that under doing it?
     
  6. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    Your goal should make the reader BE the character, not SEE the character. Just keep that in mind. :) Right now, the reader can sort of see a picture of Jiza in their head like a movie, but you should be putting in them in Jiza's shoes so they ARE Jiza.

    For example, you don't need words like "She glanced at the clock;" just say what time it is and the readers will assume she's looking at a clock. Also, instead of stating what she's doing, use the 5 senses to make readers feel like it's them doing those things.

    Hope that helps any.
     
  7. Agent Vatani
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    Agent Vatani Active Member

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    Thanks, yes being the character. So won't I, use I and not she?
    Yes like a movie! Just what I want.:)
     
  8. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    You don't have to use first person. The key way to achieve it is by appealing to the 5 senses. Show what's going on and don't describe it as though from afar.

    Example: if your MC is driving in a car, don't say what the outside of the car looks like, because the MC can't see it from in there.
     
  9. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd add more thought and emotion. A random example rewrite:

    "Jiiiiiiza!"

    Groan. Morning already? Mom should get a job as a foghorn.

    Jiza reluctantly rolled out of bed, and tried to focus on the alarm clock as she fumbled her feet into her slippers. Eight o'clock on a Saturday? Sheesh.


    I'm not saying this is great, and it's actually shorter than yours, not longer, but I think it has more emotion.

    ChickenFreak
     
  10. Agent Vatani
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    Agent Vatani Active Member

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    Thanks!
    A lot of the time I do use first person.
     

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