1. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    Unsure how to finish this story arc

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by DeathandGrim, Feb 15, 2013.

    In my fantasy noir tale I want to end one of my character's story arc but I don't know how to end it for her that just feels right

    The story so far:

    Reavers, humans born with a gene that remains dormant until the carriers first emotional breakthrough, in which case it causes the development of demonic powers and alterations, have become a problem all around the world and have caused panic, insecurity, and terror among the world for many many years. In the late 80s the government started Operation Purity, an operation that removed Reaver children from society and are raised into government drones that obey their country and government as well as serve in the military at "graduation".

    Everettia Tallow was unfortunate enough to be born with not only the Reaver gene but also a terminal heart defect stemming from her rare variant of the Reaver gene. Her parents knowing she was born with the gene try as best they can to not trigger any intense emotion within her and only make her as happy as possible. However when she was around the age of six, after an strict scolding from her mother over her acting bad at daycare she ran off into the forest nearby crying and shouting how she just wants to run away. Scared out of their minds that the gene may cause her to change they run off after her to calm her down. They find Everettia near a cliff, gazing at the beautiful sunset, no longer crying or shouting, just staring in awe. The family reconciles with their daughter but don't know that their fears had come true. Over the course of a month Everettia however didn't develop any demonic mutation but instead she developed rare graceful angelic wings which although were a sight to behold, were much to the dismay of her parents. At first attempts to hide her wings under large shirts worked but as the wings grew and grew they became just too difficult (and painful for Everettia) to hide in which case the government was alerted.

    Everettia is torn away from her devastated mother and father a short month after her wings developed and is taken to a facility where she lives a caged life for twelve years. During her time she becomes friends with like minded individuals who all want to just be free, they form a group called the Renegades and each of them take on a theme to be a renegade of. Everettia chose to be the Renegade of Sorrow, the others chose: pain, rage, greed, and freedom. Throughout their time in the facility the Renegades were often severely disciplined for breaking rules, causing havoc, and rebelling against their officials, anything they could do to maintain some sense of freedom. This continued into their adult years as they maintained a strong bond to each other and vowed never to succumb to government brainwashin and always be a "new family."

    Although she tried her best to be happy with her life, Everettia's was made fully aware of her terminal condition when she was old enough to fully comprehend her mortality, and she wasn't given much time past age 30. Making a snap decision nearing the time she and her fellow Renegades would soon forced to draft into the military, they decided instead it was time to break out rather than throw their lives away and Everettia uses her ability to fly (and hardened bones) to free herself from the facility as well her fellow Renegades and many others who wanted their lives back. She then dedicates herself to making sure that any and everyone will be able to truly be "free" from government oppression anyway she knew how. This leads to many years of the Renegades being vigilantes around the State of New Jersey.

    Fast forward 10 years to the main plot, Everettia, although running out of time, has finally come up all the necessary resources to launch her full scale plan to "liberate" New Jersey with the help of a large mercenary army called The Birds of Prey. However long story short she ends up getting betrayed by the leader of the Birds of Prey as he has a different plan on the future of the city. In a bloody confrontation with him, she ends up with a wing torn off of her body and her the rest of the Renegades arrested by a freshly alerted police.

    Everettia is taken to the hospital before she's arrested so the government can pry information out of her through a man named Christopher Hughes, a former War Criminal and world renowned mercenary turned successful businessman with the threat of many severe repercussions if he doesn't cooperate with them. At first the two don't get along at all because they both know that Chris is simply looking out for himself. However over the course of a week Chris attempts to soften Everettia up, trying to get to know her and understand her and her cause, but is coldly rejected every day despite his genuine efforts to connect with her. While this happens the Renegades break out of Prison and attempt to take revenge for Everettia against the Birds of Prey but are only killed as a result of their misguided actions.

    After a week, Christopher Hughes discontinues coming to visit Everettia, deeming the task impossible and depressing and a waste of time. To which case he is reassigned alongside other criminals to help stop the Birds of Prey's takeover of the city. For a brief moment Everettia is pleased that Chris no longer comes to see her, but however she slowly begins fold under the crushing weight of being truly alone (mind you she's unaware of her friends Deaths, but knows they will never be able to see her again) and possibly never ever being "free" she breaks down in tears and slips into a depression.

    Three days later Chris stops by to see Everettia only to formally say goodbye like a gentleman should. Everettia, seeing it as her last chance to ever connect with someone meaningfully doesn't let him leave, begging him to sit down and "start over" with her. From there they both develop a new but close relationship which leads to Chris coming back for the next few days on his own time. During that time they find they have mutual loneliness, as Chris is 53 years old with no siblings, wife, or children and found they both suffer the same pains.

    The ultimate solution is she's gonna die, and I'm having trouble truly capturing a way for her to go out that satisfies me. Considering I'm going for fantasy and noir I want her to go out in a way that still has that magical element to it but at the same time feels somewhat grounded in reality

    18193_4761667922881_1981017658_n.jpg
    Everettia Tallow
     
  2. Mot
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    Who do you want to win: Everettia, the government or the Birds of Prey?
     
  3. The Tourist
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    The Tourist Banned

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    Well, the Texicans died in the Alamo chapel. Blaze of glory. Do you have a building, church or spiritual center where they make their last stand for a lost cause?
     
  4. DeathandGrim
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    DeathandGrim Contributing Member

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    In a way nobody wins except the government

    I don't want to kill Everettia off without some sort of payoff because as you saw her life was manipulated for a large majority of the story, it'd really feel like a 'well that was pointlessly depressing' moment

    She believes taking down the city government and giving it to the people will "free" them but after her wing got torn off she's strictly hospitalized however I don't see a way she can't escape to go pray or something, but I doubt anyone would believe she has a strong religious belief
     
  5. Mot
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    She sacrifices herself, killing herself and an enemy of prominence? The example of 1984 springs to mind. Imagine how the tone of the entire book would have been changed if Winston had killed O'Brian (and been killed in the process). It would have been depressing, but so much more hopeful than the book's actual ending.

    I remember reading a book where the MC could self-destruct. However, that's probably unnecessary. There are plenty of things with which to kill others in a hospital, and I imagine she would have been killed in retaliation afterwards.
     

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