1. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Use of slash?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by lameri, Feb 10, 2012.

    Would you use a slash in here? A comma feels awkward.

    Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms: “You're going to be all right" / “I’m positive” / “Fear not, says the Lord.”

    Thanks.
     
  2. CheddarCheese
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    CheddarCheese Contributing Member

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    Hi lameri,

    To be honest, I wouldn't use slashes there. I never use slashes in story writing, and I don't think I've ever seen any books use them either. The only time a slash might be appropriate is when some sort of label or banner were being quoted in the story, for example:

    A large sign could be seen on the wall with the words "Food/Drinks For Sale" written across.

    Cheers.
     
  3. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd make the quotes part of a list:

    Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms. “You're going to be all right," and “I’m positive," and the classic “Fear not, says the Lord,” were featured. She tells me that at some point he may have gone on to quotations from Plato, but she's not sure; she was microsleeping by then.

    ChickenFreak
     
  4. Blue Night
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    Blue Night Active Member

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    Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms. “You’re going to be all right. I’m positive. Fear not, says the Lord.”

    The quote is coming from his mouth. Not from the quotes he is quoting.
    It’s just dialogue.

    How did she hear it?
     
  5. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd do it as a list too, but I wouldn't add the bits you've added. :) I'd also use semicolons for the list;
    Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms: "You're going to be all right"; "I’m positive"; "Fear not, says the Lord”.​
    (The placements of the punctuation would probably be different in America.) Unless the narrator is writing this in a journal or some such, in which case they might do almost anything, depending on their character and education.
     
  6. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    those slashes [called 'virgules'] would have no reason for being there unless they were separating the lines of a prayer/hymn/song lyric that is being quoted...

    look up the usage rules for 'virgules' and you'll see there's no other use for them in a ms other than that and in the header, to separate the name / title / page #...
     
  7. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    Was anybody else disappointed when they discovered that this wasn't about the former Guns N' Roses guitarist?
     
  8. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Hi guys,

    Thanks for your responses. The reason why I didn't go for
    is because I want to convey the idea that he didn't say those things literally like that--he said much more, including those sentences. Perhaps I can use an ellipsis...
     
  9. joanna
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    joanna Active Member

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    How about:

    Bob talked to her using his usual hopeful expressions: "You're going to be all right, stay positive, fear not says the Lord," etc.

    I've seen etc. used in fiction and it works fine.
     
  10. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    ellipses would be correct only if there were words missing between those sentences... but we can't really offer valid advice without seeing the context... what goes before and after that?... post the whole paragraph, so we can see how that fits into it...
     
  11. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    No, no, you're not missing anything. The narrative is giving a summary of Bob's "hopeful talk." I want to convey the fact that among the many things that Bob said, one of the sentences was “You're going to be all right," another one was “I’m positive,” and another one was “Fear not, says the Lord.” And I want to say that without having to say whatever padding there is in between.
     
  12. Blue Night
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    Blue Night Active Member

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    C’mon lameri.
    In one reply, you stated, “he said much more, including those sentences.”

    Then, “And I want to say that without having to say whatever padding there is in between.”

    Complete ambiguity.

    Are you saying you want us to read the quotes without your writing around it?

    Or, are you saying the character says those words without any padding?

    Context or clarification, please.

    How about the written paragraph?
     
  13. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    The written paragraph is exactly that, nothing more. The key word is convey
    so, again, the narrative wants to convey that he said many things, but much of it was padding, only those sentences were meaningful. Is it clear now?
     
  14. Tesoro
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    Tesoro Contributing Member Contributor

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    Me! :rolleyes: I would have liked such a post. :D
     
  15. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    I would still wrap those sentences up in some more structure, as in my example, rather than trying to list them straight without any verbal 'glue' to hold them together. Yes, obviously I'm going to like my own example :), but I do really think that the three phrases, just strung together, are going to be confusing no matter what punctuation you use for the stringing.
     
  16. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    ok, so in that case, here's how i'd do it:

    or maybe

     
  17. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    I guess I'd do it:

    Bob talked to her in his usual hopeful terms -- “You're going to be all right", “I’m positive”, and “Fear not, says the Lord.”
     
  18. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Thanks a lot for your input, everyone.
     
  19. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    using an em dash would be incorrect, imo... and unless you're writing for the british market, commas go inside the [""], mad

    btw, i've always been curious... what does 'madhoca' mean/stand for, if you don't mind telling?... is it a name, or are you an angry 'hoca' [whatever that is]? :confused:
     
  20. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    ^ Originally, children were schooled mostly by the learned men or women at a mosque, but now 'hoca' is used generally to mean a high school or university teacher as well. The kids here dubbed me 'madhoca' years ago--they thought 'mad' described 'eccentric' well, I suppose!
     
  21. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    cute!... i like the 'ad hoc' part in the middle... also seems to fit a bit? ;)
     
  22. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Umm... I guess! I'm terrible at going off on red herrings, I get visitors to my classes wanting to hear stories about my days at boarding school or going to the Live Aid concert or something, so I don't suppose the name will change any time soon (or that I'll actually ever finish a set course book on time).
     
  23. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    So is "hoca" a HS or U teacher in Arab language? I too wondered what your name meant, so I'm glad maia asked...
     
  24. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yes, they use 'hoca' or 'hodja' too. It's like the reader or learned person at the mosque.
     

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