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  1. ans05f
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    ans05f New Member

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    Vampires

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by ans05f, Mar 9, 2009.

    I'm writing a short story for a course in Vampires. Has anyone ever attempted this subject matter for a work of fiction? Any advice from those who have, or suggestions from those who haven't but enjoy reading about vampires? It seems like a tricky subject to pull off successfully. I'd like to stay away from the humorous side - definitely want to stay away from the Twilightish love story side of vampirism. Here is my idea, in short:

    Young boy (Alex) and his twin brother Sam (both 10 yrs old) are orphaned after their parents die in a car accident. Alex, upon meeting Susannah, a stunning red-head orphan of 6, immediately falls in love with her in a big brother sort of way. However, one of the nuns, Ms. Caroline (it's a Catholic orphanage) is overly protective of her, and constantly seems like she's trying to keep Alex away from Susannah. She comes off to him as mean, scary, and smelling of garlic.

    Alex discovers that he can get time to play with Susannah after dinner - around dusk - when Ms. Caroline is attending mass. They start to become close friends, and Alex is intrigued by Susannah's charm and extensive imagination. Example: she thinks she's 38...and has many stories of traveling around the country with Mrs. Caroline. Alex chalks this up as fantasy.

    Things start to get weird as Alex spends more time with Susannah. He finds blood on her clothes - finds her pet cat dead - etc.

    Mrs. Caroline finds out that Alex and Susannah have been sneaking out at night to play. She is furious.

    Alex's twin brother is found dead. Susannah and Mrs. Caroline disappear.

    30 years later -

    Mrs. Caroline contacts Alex, needing him to take custody of Susannah...who is still 6, stuck at that age because she is a vampire.

    Of course I'll develop the characters more, but there is a dry bone outline of what I'm thinking for the vampire short. Any suggestions is much appreciated!
     
  2. g1ng3rsnap9ed
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    g1ng3rsnap9ed Contributing Member

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    First: I absolutely love what you have planned for this story. Keep up the good work and try not to make the vampyres sparkly vegetarians. :cool:

    Second:Have you read "Let the Right One In" yet? You may enjoy it, its a modern-day vampyre book with real bite. (Excuse the pun.)
     
  3. freeflow
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    freeflow Member

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    I like it. Alot of developing would have to go into it, and the plot seems interesting enough for someone at my age. Though, just because your plot seems intriging does not say anything for the writing. Good luck!
     
  4. Natalia
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    Natalia Member

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    I research old legends from the source of the Vampire stories.Even lesser known myths regarding vampires.This will give allow you to steer clear of the humorous side and maybe create a new set of vampire lores that are fresh and exciting.I think it is a great idea.Ive always loved the vampire genre and this angle hasn't to my knowledge been covered
     
  5. Speedy
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    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

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    Interview with the vampire obviously has the "ageless child" that you have presented here. But none-tje-less its somethin g i liked about interview with the vampire. It would be good to take it one sytep further. (Or follow its path somewhat)
     
  6. Rave
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    Rave New Member

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    Hm, to be honest this seems more like a novel outline than a short story.

    It's a good concept though, there's a lot of exploring you could do to look at somebody from the perspective of being a child vampire. There was one film (potentially from a book) that touched on a child vampire, she was wardened by two adult vampires, they eventually killed her because she was uncontrollable. It was interview with a vampire I think...

    What you might consider doing is laying down what you consider to be the elements of a vampire first of all, it's kinda like elves or dragons, people have a general idea of the concept but everyone takes their own liberties.
     
  7. Arrow
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    Vampires in a nunnery (or Catholic orphanage)...hmm...interesting.

    If Susannah is a vampire, does she actually need to be "taken care of" by Mrs. Caroline?
    Does Mrs. Caroline need young Susannah as a front?

    Finally: Although I do get some "Interview with..." from your outline, which can be reVAMPED..haha..I mean developed out, I am curious if you've thought about writing something where children comprise the coven?
     
  8. Mcarpenter
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    Mcarpenter Contributing Member

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    It just all depends on how you write it. This has potential to be seriously freaky and wrong and it also has potential to be very daring, witty, clever and entertaining. It all depends on you.

    But I do agree with Rave. Sounds more like a full blown novel. I can imagine heads spinning dizzily, if you manage to cram it into a short story. :)
     
  9. samessex
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    samessex Member

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    sounds great to me! i would certainly pick up in a book shop and read it! agree with the other guys though, has the potential to be a novel. perhaps consider this?
    i was thinking of attempting some sort of vampire story for my next project. good luck! ;)
     
  10. traffic101
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    traffic101 Member

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    Hi, I like vampires novels. I try to make them more modern day. But your story is good, the 6 year old does remind me of Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire. But as long as you make your story unique, no worries there.

    I'm wondering if Mrs. Caroline is a vampire too...also his twin brother dying must be pretty upsetting to him. Usually twins are connected and can tell when one dies...

    anyhoo seems like you're on the right track.

    Good luck.
     
  11. FantasyWitch
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    FantasyWitch Contributing Member

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    One title- Interview with a Vampire. That is what this comes off as.

    Obviously it wont be the exact same, but thats what the concept comes over as. I'm trying to write a vamp novel too, and its really difficult to come up with an original story-line. Be wary of all these storylines because you need to remember that people who read a lot of vamp stuff will just think about certain other books in return. Which is irritating yes, but its the way of the world.
     
  12. TwinPanther13
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    TwinPanther13 Contributing Member

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    not being funny but I actually saw a russian movie that is almost exactly like this. Don't know how this would play out publishe, but I liked the movie and I like your idea
     
  13. FantasyWitch
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    FantasyWitch Contributing Member

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    See what i mean about vamps and originality? My point made.
     
  14. samessex
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    samessex Member

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    i think your idea is good and has the possibility of being a strong piece. go for it. althoiugh vampire storylines are often similar and overlap, it doesnt mean you cannot make yours different and origional. just keep that in mind. good luck!:cool:
     
  15. pacmansays
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    pacmansays Senior Member

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    No offense to you as this post is no reflection on your ideas or writing ability but I believe Vampires have been done to death and not much new has been added to the pot....(and don't get me started on Twilight lol)
     
  16. TwinPanther13
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    TwinPanther13 Contributing Member

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    Question, I have never read Twilight, but does she explain how they survive in sunlight
     
  17. Mcarpenter
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    Mcarpenter Contributing Member

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    In the Twilight books, they aren't harmed by sunlight, they merely avoid it because in sunlight they appear all sparkley and beautiful--which would give them away. I got the impression they were formed of the same substance as rocks--like marble and diamonds. She also sets the story in Forks, Washington where it supposedly rains or is cloudy almost every day of the year.
     
  18. Yitz
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    Yitz Member

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    Jim Butcher has written a lot about vampires in his Dresden Files series...
    he approaches the whole subject by categorizing and explaining most of
    the lore around vampires in a believable way. Kind of a similar approach
    like the movie "Underworld" took...more scientific, explainable, and logical.
    Less lore and make-it-up-as-you-go.
    I like his approach because it feels fresh. You might read some of his stuff to
    get some ideas...it never hurts to look at a subject from all angles.
     
  19. Topha
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    Topha New Member

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    Theres a film called Let The Right One In (2008) where a 12 year old boy falls in love with a girl who he later finds out is a vampire.

    This is the imdb link if the mods dont mind.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139797/
     
  20. TwinPanther13
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    TwinPanther13 Contributing Member

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    Thats the movie I was thinking about. I could not remember the name.
     

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