1. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Veins or arteries, a request for opinions.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by GingerCoffee, Aug 16, 2013.

    The phrase is, "adrenalin shot through my veins". Technically as a medical professional I know the correct phrase should be, "adrenalin shot through my arteries".

    So I'm trying to decide between what sounds better in a literary sense or what I know is technically more accurate.


    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. BritInFrance
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    BritInFrance Active Member

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    It depends how medically trained your MC is. If not very then go with the one that most people would say (as a formal mental health nurse I hate the phrase 'I had a mental breakdown' but the reality is most people would say it).
     
  3. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I might try to find a way around it. Since this seems to be in 1st person, I wouldn't describe the sensation like that anyway 'cause I don't really feel the adrenaline in my veins, or arteries for that matter. It's more like all over my body, accompanied with a tunnel vision, shakes, and my stomach knotting, so yeah, I guess I'd just describe the adrenaline dump differently? That being said, I do like "adrenaline shot through my arteries" since it sounds cool :p

    Of course there's the idiom "course through the veins" which you could use, but it's a cliché and if you're set on avoiding them...
    You could also say "shot through my body" to avoid the dilemma altogether.
     
  4. sanco
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    sanco Contributing Member

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    What about using a different word all together? Like bloodstream? I kinda like "shot through my arteries". It doesn't immediately strike me as being too medically accurate.
     
  5. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    or skip over how it got released/distributed and get right to the result, with something like:

    'Adrenaline kicked in and...'

    'An adrenaline rush got me...'

    A surge of adrenaline...'
     
  6. badgerjelly
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    badgerjelly Member

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    You could just say "system" instead of "veins".
     
  7. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd go with one of mamma's options.
     
  8. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    The venous half of your cardiovascular system is downstream from the capillaries. Nothing in your veins is on it's way to the tissues and organs until the blood gets into the arterial side of the heart.

    I think people recognize what an adrenalin rush is, but you may be right, perhaps I'll look at instilling more creativity in this description.
     
  9. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    In case anyone is curious, this is what I've settled on at the moment.

    "An alarm rang out … an impossible to ignore, screeching alarm. I pulled with all my strength, boosted by adrenalin the alarm set loose in my body, and then I could see the street and buildings on the other side of the wall."​

    I may still work on the, "and then I could see", and I may still change "body" to "veins". :)


    So what say folks: "set loose" or "loosed"?
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    For what it's worth, I would have suggested something similar to what Maia offered.
     
  11. GingerCoffee
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    They didn't fit my character, but "boosted by the adrenalin surge the alarm set loose" is worth considering. And I could just drop the, "in my body".


    Yeah, that's good, "in my body" doesn't need to be said.

    "An alarm rang out … an impossible to ignore, screeching alarm. I pulled with all my strength, boosted by the adrenalin surge the alarm set loose, and then I was up, I could see the street and buildings on the other side of the wall."​
     

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