1. nhope
    Offline

    nhope Contributing Member Reviewer

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    NH Seacoast

    Vent...grrr...some people

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by nhope, Oct 15, 2015.

    I have been writing for a long time but up until now, haven't seriously considered having my work published. So I visit a few writing forums and there is one in particular that when you don't agree with or share the same opinion that the "regulars" have, they attack you. Or at least all goes well until one person does, then they gather 'round and throw their own stones.

    WTF? Aren't we all trying for the same thing here? What ever happened to discussion and open-mindedness and actually considering someone else's struggle to explain how they feel without attacking the person?

    I don't get it. This particular forum didn't used to be that way and not many of them are published, so I don't get where the attitude comes from.

    Do you know where it comes from? Is it worth considering the opinions of those who can't even begin to understand yours?
     
    Lea`Brooks and Jeff Countryman like this.
  2. Tenderiser
    Offline

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    4,284
    Likes Received:
    5,154
    Location:
    London, UK
    A lot of forums suffer from this phenomenon, and not just writing ones. You may find that over the course of time the clique swings the other way so that your views will be in the majority. But either way you don't really get a discussion, so what's the point? If you get anything useful out of it, stick to the threads that give you something back and ignore the ones where you're piled on. If you get nothing from it, why stick around?
     
  3. jannert
    Online

    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    7,779
    Likes Received:
    7,291
    Location:
    Scotland
    I've been impressed by this forum ever since I joined a couple of years ago. Although we skirt close to chaos and negativity at times, in general I think it's a great place to be. The mods here are vigilant. When a discussion starts taking a negative tit-for-tat twist, they quickly step in to either warn the participants or close the thread. If any individual steps too far out of line they get a warning, then a temporary or permanent ban. So nobody here is going to be subjected to a lot of abuse for any length of time.

    That being said, people here do have strong opinions on many things, and don't hesitate to express them. Because we're all writers or wannabe writers, writing topics can get heated at times. (Never mind the Debate Room, which I hardly ever visit.) So that's the price we pay for having an honest forum. Occasional squabbles.

    As long as the squabbles don't get personal (they can certainly get heated, but need to stay on the topic) I have no problem. However, if people start name-calling, or telling other people directly that their particular opinions are ignorant, then that's crossing the line as far as I'm concerned. They need to be told, and quickly, that they are no longer being constructive or courteous.

    We ALL have stuff to learn though ...as I just discovered yesterday, thanks to somebody who is beta-reading my novel for me just now. So it's important to pay attention to what everybody says, either about your writing or your opinions, before feeling picked-upon. Perhaps what people are ganging up to tell you is actually helpful critical information which you might need, but also might not be ready to hear? It's important to be able to differentiate between real attacks, and a wave of justifiable criticism or an opposing view.

    Of course, we all have different approaches to writing, to reading, and to what we enjoy. So that factors in as well.
     
  4. KaTrian
    Offline

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    5,564
    Likes Received:
    3,561
    Location:
    The Great Swamp
    Do you mean the atmosphere was clique-ish? And is this about opinions or how we express those opinions?

    I think sometimes the way we conduct ourselves can cause friction, even more than the opinions and ideas we stand for. There's this phenomenon of not knowing how to people. Just like irl, you also need social skills in social media. And I'm not saying this to point the finger at you, but sometimes, even when our intentions are good, we can come across "wrong," and especially a cliqueish environment will be quick to shut us out 'cause we haven't learned their ways yet. It's then up to us to decide whether we want to challenge that status quo or accommodate. Different forums have different codes of conduct, and within that forum, there may be subforums where the rules are even stricter, for example, if it's supposed to be a "safe space" where e.g. minority members are protected from whatever undesired mode of behavior.

    There will always be topics that split writers' opinions; italics for thoughts, UK vs. US spelling, the Oxford comma, traditional vs. self-publishing and so on. However, opinions from all/both sides should be allowed -- and cultivated.
     
    jannert likes this.
  5. Bookster
    Offline

    Bookster Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    172
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Right between the eyes
    All Internet forums are clique-ish, this one somewhat less so than the others I frequent. As @jannert said, outside of the Debate Room, I find mostly intelligent discussion about the stuff we're all interested in (don't get me started on the propriety of run-on sentences, though).
     
  6. Steerpike
    Offline

    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2010
    Messages:
    11,055
    Likes Received:
    5,256
    Location:
    California, US
    I agree this one is better than most. Some are too clique-ish to be bearable. If you write Fantasy, also check out Mythic Scribes, in addition to here.
     
  7. nhope
    Offline

    nhope Contributing Member Reviewer

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    60
    Location:
    NH Seacoast
    It took me a couple of days, but I went back and posted a response which I am very proud of. I'll spare you the details. It just irritates me when those of us who write, and who I feel should have their own thoughts, piggyback on the words of others who have already done the thinking, without offering anything new or really reading the responses of the OP or the posters, who sometimes propel the discussion forward in a very enlightening way. But no. Some just have to be condescending and rude (maybe they have run out of thoughts) as if they have solely read all there is to read and have interviewed all those who have every written, and react to those who dare challenge them to be forever cursed to walk the rest of their days on this earth without tongues or heads.
     

Share This Page