1. The Yellow Matrix
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    The Yellow Matrix New Member

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    Wackiest Excuse Ever

    Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by The Yellow Matrix, Nov 21, 2006.

    I just got this idea from Reader's Digest. People seem to get more creative when they're writing or making up excuses. So, guys, what's the weirdest, funniest, silliest, wackiest, most creative excuse you could ever think of to the question: "Why can't you submit your homework / paper today?"

    PS., It could be weird, funny, silly, wacky, and creative all at the same time, or it could be any number of these numerous adjectives...well, you get it.:D
     
  2. The Yellow Matrix
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    The Yellow Matrix New Member

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    Please excuse me, I can't pass my homework today because the cat pissed on it and I tried to dry my paper with my sister's hair dryer but she has this big date, but I sneaked her hair dryer out of her room anyway, and then when I dried the paper already it still smells like piss that I puked when I smelled it and then I got puke on it so I decided not to pass it altogether and I've already forgotten the contents so I can't rewrite it anymore.
     
  3. Spherical Time
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    Spherical Time Contributing Member

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    I'm sorry, I couldn't come to class today because I'm testifying in front of a Grand Jury.

    I'm sorry, legally, I can't divulge the reason for my testimony, or how long I'll be gone.

    If the judge found out that I told you that much, I could be in trouble.

    Maybe I'll see you in a week. I'll turn in my homework then.
     
  4. ariella
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    ariella Contributing Member

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    Well you see I have blonde hair and that's why I didn't vote, I forgot it was compulsory...oops...who were we voting for again?

    Scarily enough this actually worked for me, didn't get fined anyway, just got told that the excuse would never work again.
     
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  5. RedMatrix
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    RedMatrix Senior Member

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    "I had made a model of my project with dog biscuits and I forgot to put it away last night. Sadly, my dog had the midnight munchies"
     
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  6. FallenAgain
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    FallenAgain New Member

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    Imagine it's a sub ;) :
    Teacher: Where's your homework?
    Student: *Puts finger to lips* SHH! Don't let them hear! They don't like that talk!
    Teacher: Who?
    Student: THEM! *makes all-encompassing gesture*
    Teacher: Ah, them. And they are...?
    Student: SHH! *takes teacher aside--by about 3 steps to their right, and says quietly* Listen, the CIA or the FBI or one of thos infiltrated this school and several homes throughout the district, ours being one of them. This has happened before and it was proven that they don't like the 'homework' talk *complete with air quotes*
    Teacher: Uhuh...o_O
    --a few minutes later, the teacher has called in the guidance counselor, several other teachers, and even got the teacher they were subbing for on the phone. They ask what was going on, and the sub teacher explains. They don't believe her and look to me for confirmation--
    Student: *loud enough for the regular teacher, the one the other teacher had been subbing for, to hear* Uhuh, yah right! I bet she told you I forgot my homework too, huh?!
    --everyone walks away. I doubt that sub will ever be used again--
    *ROTFLMAO!*
    taken off of something on ebaums world about how to get out of a ticket. XD
    ttys,
    ~FI~
     
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  7. Eoz Eanj
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    Eoz Eanj Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well you see,

    I ate my paper

    but of course, I realised that this piece needed to be handed in today, so I threw it up, here it is.. *gives teacher a jar full of ones own stomache contents*

    Just fish around for a while, you'll find it, ha-ha, you know what they say, when all else fails, use your fingers!
     
  8. Avrilkiller
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    Avrilkiller Member

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    You see, it's the funniest thing....I was wandering about last night, homework folder in hand, looking at the stars and hoping for some inspiration for the fascinating project you gave us, but then, all of a sudden, this great bearded git jumps out of the bushes and grabs my folder and hops away on a bloody pogo stick! Right then I looked aboot me for a spare, and sure enough one of the neighbor kids had left a one on his lawn right where anyoen could grab it, so I took it and started after him. A couple blocks down he sees me and knows I'll be catching up to him, so he jumps off the stick, feeds it to the giant dog he had running along beside him, and gets into a Taxi he had waiting. But you know, dogs can't ride in Taxis, so he left it there, and it chased me home so I had to run off and leave him get away with my only love, English Homework, in order not to be a pile of dog slop. And then right when I got home and started to write you a whole essay on what had happened to make up for the lost work, I realized how crazy it sounded and knew you'd never believe me and thought I'd just tell you I was busy taking care of me sick mum instead.
    You..DO believe me...don't you?
     
  9. Wilderbeast
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    Wilderbeast Member

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    So, I was just chilling in my room. I was driving along, minding my own business when I was abducted by aliens. It was then that I realized my dog had eaten some of the paper, from the spaceship of course. I was about to re-write it when they probed my brain and I forgot what I was to write. So, I tried to overdue it, apparently I had lost my frontal lobes for a while. Well, I got them back. Only, I got them back thirty minutes before I got here. I had to run and everything, and look at this scrape.
     
  10. wordwizard
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    wordwizard Contributing Member

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    my cat ate it (seriously happened to me before)
     
  11. Myst
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    Myst Active Member

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    Sorry Teacher, I didn't do my homework because I was busy posting on forums excuses for not doing homework.
     
  12. ItalianStallion
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    ItalianStallion Senior Member

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    I can't turn it in teacher.......I would rather show you how good of a student I am by telling you....
     
  13. Analog Worms
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    Analog Worms New Member

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    I've joined an Anti-Technology Revoluntionary group.
     
  14. Vroom Vroom Daddy
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    Vroom Vroom Daddy Member

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    I can't do my homework paper on insanity because the voices in my head said, "stay home and clean the guns"
     
  15. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Dearest Teacher
    I cannot give you my homework, because I spent the entire night pining that I was not with you.
    I know people will say it is wrong but I must tell you that I love you. Your eyes entrance me, and I must have you.
    I will do anything to be with you. ANYTHING!

    YOU MUST NOT DENY THE BOND WE BOTH KNOW EXISTS BETWEEN US!

    Where are you going. No please come back to me. You must not flee what you know is inevitable.

    I will wait for you always.
     
  16. Heather Louise
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    Heather Louise Contributing Member Contributor

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    ok, so this lad said " sorry sir, i put my book in the washing machine and it has fallen to bits." then the next day he brought his book in in perect condition, lmaoo.

    my best one would be " i was going to do it but i got distracted by something sparkly"
     
  17. Falcatarius
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    Falcatarius New Member

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    "My Ex set fire to my pick-up truck..."

    For some reason that's my all time favourite excuse.


    A real one I actually made up on the spot and used to great success was...

    "Last night I mistook a tube of antibiotic ointment for toothpaste when I was really zoned out and we had to call poison control and I was rushed to the hospital."

    It was so bizzare she didn't question it. :)

    Cheers
    -Falcatarius
     
  18. Myst
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    Myst Active Member

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    "I handed it in to you yesterday, don't tell me you lost it?!"
     
  19. poetryliberates
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    poetryliberates Banned

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    i had a massive purple/blue lovebite on my neck..my excuse when mum noticed it " i ran into a door knob "
     
  20. Misstikal
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    Misstikal Banned

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    I was told by my mum that if I had to bring my school work home then I had to bring my housework to school and I don't think you would appreciate me bringing tray of kitty litter into the cooking class miss....


    I actually used it and spent a week in detention I had a very straight teacher and she was disgusted that the whole class was in fits of laughter over it. But I caught up on a lot of sleep so I wasn't complaining lol
     
  21. Wars of Jericho
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    Wars of Jericho Active Member

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    as i sat there doing my homework i came to the realization that we have the pleasure of working rather than doing something else like watching TV and you, my dearest teacher do not. And i don't think it is very fair that we get all this oh so dare i say? enjoyable work and you sit at home doing things like watching TV and going out somewhere. I feel so bad that i will refrain from doing my homework until you have the pleasure of doing yours.
     
  22. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Thats an awesome excuse.
     
  23. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    Well of course I couldn't finish your assignment, I was far to busy fantasizing about your gravity stricken body rippling beneath that blouse and skirt as I was bent over your desk. Though your technique with a paddle could use some pointers. I will be seeing you after class ma'am so we can work out our differences. :supergrin:
     

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