1. gabriellockhart
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    gabriellockhart Member

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    Weird personal question that only women can help with.

    Discussion in 'Research' started by gabriellockhart, Apr 5, 2010.

    Now this question is going to sound really crude and i apologise in advance.

    What was having sex like the first time you had it?

    Now i ask this question for a number of reasons-

    1. I am not a women.
    2. My circle of friends refuse to tell me as i am a man.
    3. I'm sick of the cliches which range from a mind blowing experiance to awkard and uncomfortable.

    So help in this subject would be nice as my main character, who is a female and a virgin is about to have sex for the first time and i would like it to be a real as possible for the reader.

    Many thanks.
     
  2. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    a) The anticipation and excitement throughout the evening was unbelievable, but the experience was less mind-blowing, although pleasurable nonetheless...
    b) The guy had absolutely no idea it was my first time, and I was playing it too cool to let him know..! I don't want to be crude either, but there were no physical signs to tell him different. Maybe it was because I'd done riding, athletics and ballet intensively from the age of about seven... but some of my friends experienced embarrassingly different!
    c) A surprising number of my friends have said 'What would my mother/(name of best friend) think if they could see me now...' flashed through their heads.
    d) In summary, the first time was much more forgettable than later adventures! Maybe because I wasn't in love, neither did I try to fool myself that I was. In fact, I only moderately fancied the guy, but it seemed like a good idea at the time (plus being the first real opportunity I'd ever had: first month at uni, i.e. what every mother warns you not to do). Now, the first time with someone I loved... that really was something.

    Just noticed I've mentioned 'mother' twice here. For sure, the first time is the final rite of passage that gives you the feeling you are an independent adult.
     
  3. gabriellockhart
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    gabriellockhart Member

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    thank's madhoca, the info was insightful, especially the anticipation part?

    but keep em coming ladies.
     
  4. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    'twas with the much older guy [i was 19, he was 33] i'd been dating on the rebound from one i was bonkers over [who'd dropped me, since i wouldn't have sex with him--though i sure did want to!... due to either leftover catholic guilt, or not wanting to be a 'slut'... this was back in the mid-50s]...

    i sort of convinced myself i loved the replacement, who'd been wooing me non-stop, and on a weekend trip to the sierras, finally 'gave in'... it was so unmemorable i can't even give you any details... all i do recall is the surroundings, a 'motel' room that was an old airstream trailer... i remember the musty smell of the place, mingled with the heady aroma of sagebrush and a great view of the mountains from the window, more than the 'act' itself... what i do know is that having been given no 'education' in the art of love-making, and my clueless clod of an always-horny first ex just 'getting it off' and not caring if i liked it or not, i went 10 years [being pregnant for 5] having lots of it, but hating sex...

    when the marriage was gasping its last, a caring, loving, extremely skillful lover showed me what i'd been missing all those years!...and then, in one of those great ironies life dumps on us, i discovered [too late, of course] that the man i married next was an unacknowledged gay who didn't want any!

    however, thanks to that gifted 'teacher' the rest of my 'active' years were enjoyed to the hilt [sorry for the unintended double entendre!], sex-wise...
     
  5. gabriellockhart
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    gabriellockhart Member

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    no worries, thank's mammamaia
     
  6. AmazonBanshee
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    AmazonBanshee New Member

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    I cannot believe I am replying, but I need help and am here to help if I can as well.
    I was not old enough. Neither was the guy. Not "that" young, but just by legal standards we barely qualified. It was more of an experiment. He was my friend. We snuck down into my basement that my parent's were almost finished remodeling. On the carpet. No blanket. Missionary style. It hurt. He had no diea what he was doing. Not really enjoyable at all. Lasted maybe a minute. I regretted it. To be honest, I have not thought about it for years until I just read your post.
     
  7. SilverWolf0101
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    SilverWolf0101 Active Member

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    Honestly, my first time is something I ignore (have my reasons).

    But anyways, for me I was mostly confused through the entire thing. Wasn't sure what to do or what was expected of me. In my confusion there was also anticipation, racing thoughts and an unstoppable trembling. At first it hurt like hell (the guy was NOT gentle at all), but after sometime it didn't hurt so much, then again there wasn't much there. The dude was a "jack-rabbit" so to speak, considering he only lasted twenty minutes.

    Hope this helps ^^;
     
  8. Fallen
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    Fallen Member

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    A beautiful post, AB. All respect for its honesty.
     
  9. InkDream
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    InkDream Senior Member

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    A little awkward and uncomfortable, but not nearly as painful as I'd been told. Once I relaxed I quite enjoyed myself. ;)
     
  10. pinelopikappa
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    pinelopikappa Senior Member

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    You know I wouldn't answer you had you asked me face to face, but it's ok here.

    It was with my long time boyfriend, that I knew would stop when I told him so. I trusted him a lot, there was no pressure, it just happened. I wasn't that young anyway, in order to feel I was doing something bad. No guilt. He kept asking me "are you sure?" because for so long things stopped after a certain point. You know...

    I had heared the worst things from my girlfriends (pain, shame, regrets etc.) plus I had read a book as a girl that scared me to death, plus I never wanted to sleep around anyway, so my boyfriend had to deal with me saying "no" for quite sometime. In fact he later told me he appreciated it (Greek men... still very conservative all of them).

    The point is, it was very succesful. If there was pain I never noticed, it was wonderful. I know it was all because of him, for being full of patience and love. He is my husband now, by the way.

    For the record, most girls' first time is not that good. I have reached the conclusion it has to be with the right man AND at the right moment. Someone that loves you back.
     
  11. gabriellockhart
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    gabriellockhart Member

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    Thank's ladies, your answers have helped a great deal.

    A huzzah for the anonymity of the internet i say.
     

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