1. Wreybies
    Offline

    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    18,859
    Likes Received:
    10,035
    Location:
    Puerto Rico

    WF's 10th Anniversary Discussion Thread

    Discussion in '10th Anniversary Contest' started by Wreybies, Jun 16, 2016.

    For those members wishing to discuss the merits of the different stories posted for the contest, please make use of this thread. Members tasked with the judging of the contest will not be engaging in this discussion nor even reading it.
     
  2. Aaron Smith
    Offline

    Aaron Smith Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2013
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    401
    The theme is so awfully bland. But that's kind of what makes it interesting. Creativity is not deriving something complicated from the intricate. It is deriving something complicated from the simple.

    I look forward to read the winner's story.
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  3. Viridian
    Offline

    Viridian Contributing Member Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I'll have it posted soon. Mwahahaha :superlaugh:
     
    Oscar Leigh and Brindy like this.
  4. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    Is that crickets I hear in this thread?
    Oops... Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt everyone's meditation.
     
  5. A man called Valance
    Offline

    A man called Valance Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    214
    Likes Received:
    325
    Location:
    Here and there, mostly there.
     
  6. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    Now that all the entries are in maybe we can get some discussion going. :)

    I've read all of the entries, so I'll start with a few random comments.

    I really enjoyed - Only Ten.
    It felt like a full story with a tangible beginning, middle & ending.
    My only issues with it were a few of the thoughts/actions of the 10 year-old girl seemed a little off for that age. Also, I think because of the constant short scenes it may have felt a little longer than it was. By the end, I was thinking, oh... another scene... another scene....

    This is Probably What Hell is Like was also a fun read. To me it was a bit short, as though it was only a scene for a larger story.

    The Meaning of Kittens was another that stood out for me. I think the biggest issue (IMO) was the boyfriend seemed over the top cliche and there didn't seem to be any obvious reason for the girl to be with him in the first place. This made the ending a bit obvious from the start.

    Okay, I'll stop there for now and see if anyone else joins in on the conversation.
     
  7. newjerseyrunner
    Offline

    newjerseyrunner Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
    Messages:
    285
    Likes Received:
    211
    I enjoyed the Ten Voices story. I found the interactions between the characters enjoyable, my only critique is that I felt I was missing the thoughts of the narrator's personality.

    The If-Then story I found humorous, I'm like that, and most of the engineers around me are like that. I read the "It's logic," at the end in Leonard Nemoy's voice.

    Haven't read them all yet though, look forward to it.
     
    Aled James Taylor likes this.
  8. peachalulu
    Offline

    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    3,828
    Likes Received:
    2,382
    Location:
    occasionally Oz , mainly Canada
    I'm going to try reading them all. :)
    Here's the first.
    Just finished Marion's Secret. Not sure how ten worked in but I liked it. It had a strong slice of life flavor to it but then when I got to the ending ... I don't know. Maybe a simpler secret might've worked better? Loved the sentence about the baby looking like an Easter egg. That made me lol. Very crisp writing, too. And a lot of characterization in such a short story. Good job to whoever wrote it.
     
  9. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    I had to go back and look at the last paragraph of Marion's Secret to remember the story.
    From what I can recall, it was an interesting story but the last line seems to be a run on sentence or some error with the "pushed Ralph died." (Although, it does mention Ten.)
    If eternal damnation awaits those that break the Ten Commandments then her fate was sealed on the night she pushed Ralph died under the wheels of the 23:08 to Lorton.

    I don't remember if it had other errors that my feeble editing picked up on. But I did like the tone of the story.
     
  10. izzybot
    Offline

    izzybot Human Disaster Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2015
    Messages:
    865
    Likes Received:
    953
    Location:
    SC, USA
    It worked in the Ten Commandments! I'm a complete dork who loves memorizing things so I picked up on it and thought it was pretty clever, hahah. Early on the mc goes "Jesus Christ" in reference to the teen mother (taking the lord's name in vain), she calls her mother a cow (not honoring her father/mother), steals from a neighbor and lies to another (stealing and bearing false witness), kills her husband and commits adultery. I don't think I caught all of the commandments in the story, but I thought they were woven in pretty well.

    I've only read about half the entries, but I really enjoyed She's My Ten, Ten of Swords, and Huit, Neuf, Dix. I'd've probably liked If - Then more if it wasn't a joke I'd heard before, unfortunately. I wasn't quite sure if the mc was serious or just being a little shit in his 'mistake', though.
     
    Brindy likes this.
  11. Brindy
    Offline

    Brindy Contributing Member Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2016
    Messages:
    404
    Likes Received:
    394
    Location:
    Somerset, UK
    Well, I've read all of them and wow, there's some really good writing in there. The ones that stood out for me were 'Eleanor's Curse' and the 'Corpse Demon Fly'. These both drew me right into the story. 'Only Ten' was also very well written, although it made me feel quite uncomfortable while reading it, which I'm sure was the intention. 'The Quarrel' was very descriptive and I could feel the cold the mc was enduring.

    Good contest, I think the judges have a real task on their hands.
     
  12. 123456789
    Offline

    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,339
    Likes Received:
    3,086
    There were a lot of good entries. I've looked through over >90% of them. I'm going to discuss a few, as I see fit. I'll start with Corpse Demon Fly.

    The writing was good. The voice was strong. I'm tempted to say that the prose was the best of all the peices, all things considering.

    I was annoyed when the MC told the professor that the information in the text book for a 101 class was "derivative"- that seems rather silly, like a line I would find in the Big Bang theory.

    Other than that, the story was solid and every sentence was engaging.

    I've got to take points off for the ending. There was really wasn't anything there for me, other than a conclusion to the story. It's not that the ending has to shock me- this one certainly didn't- but there has to be something emotional or intellectually stimulating that makes a good story great.

    Even so, very nice work.
     
    Viridian likes this.
  13. dbesim
    Offline

    dbesim Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    London, UK
    There are a whole lot of entries and I've been reading each of them from bottom to top. I haven't yet read the four stories on the top of the pile but there certainly is a very interesting range at the moment. I need to refresh my memory on some of them too and I know that at least one story didn't incorporate the 'ten' theme (but I still read it, anyway). I've still got four more to read, so don't want to share my favourites until I read those. Really great so far!
     
  14. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    As far as I remember, everyone found a way to include the word "ten" into the story
     
  15. dbesim
    Offline

    dbesim Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    London, UK
    Oh ye, sorry. Got to go through them again, just looked back on it - it was subtle. Glad I didn't mention the story now, lol. :p
     
  16. Viridian
    Offline

    Viridian Contributing Member Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I haven't read them all yet but I have just finished Corpse Demon Fly. In my top 3 so far and extremely well written. I noticed some repetition though which I find annoying in a story (reading 'Faces' by Martina Cole at the moment and boy oh boy does she like to repeat herself), but aside from that it was a great read. The use of ten was used in various ways and although the author's voice wasn't one I could read at length it was great for a short story, it certainly held my attention until the end. I have to disagree with @123456789, I found the ending very satisfying.
     
  17. doggiedude
    Offline

    doggiedude Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    1,248
    Location:
    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    I completely missed the whole ten commandments being strung through the story. Maybe a little too subtle for those of us who don't pay much attention to religion.

    Looks like a lot of mentions for the Corpse Demon.

    I did like the descriptions for The Quarrel but I thought the story contained too much tell for my tastes.
     
  18. Viridian
    Offline

    Viridian Contributing Member Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    New Zealand
    The Quarrel is one of my faves so far, along with Life, Death and The Big White bull. I found that one very entertaining.
     
    jannert likes this.
  19. dbesim
    Offline

    dbesim Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    London, UK
    Another thing about this story is it tied the 'ten' theme down really well because I was constantly reminded that the MC is ten years old without being 'told'. Yes, she might have sounded slightly more mature than ten (maybe thirteen?) but that had also something to do with sophisticated narration.

    I share @123456789 's views about The Corpse Demon Fly and also about the story being weaker at the end than the rest of it. The ten-chapters was a great way of introducing the theme to structure and not just the writing, and I loved the haunting poem before the start of each and every story.

    Huit, Neuf, Dix was a wonderful sentimental story that brought a tear to my eye and applied the theme in a way that was emotionally invoking.

    The Meaning of Kittens was well planned in the way it incorporated the theme through to the last kitty.. and effort was also put into Ten of Swords which incorporates some unexpected turns (and some expected).

    A few stories have the ''shock factor'' and that includes Ten Voices and Ten Inches whereas She's My Ten took me through the mind of the MC superbly and so did those other ''shock factor'' stories.

    However, as well as Only Ten, I want to special mention Life, Death and The Big, White Bull because it took me on an incredible journey from start to end, with great sense of humour, what with Oisin and the humour coming from the mind of the MC. I loved how it brought the baby in the end and the meaningful way it incorporated the theme with the baby, as I sat anticipating ''when will it be coming?'' but it wasn't in an OTT way when it did.

    Also, the modern themes brought out in I Won't Say I'm in Love what with the MC realising he may have secret homosexual feelings for his ''best'' friend.

    The stories in the bundle are remarkable and I would have liked to mention a few more stories that I haven't mentioned that may be more credible than the few stories I have mentioned, but I want to give other people the chance to mention them, so that I'm not the only one doing all this blabbering.

    All in all... Loved your entries!!!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2016
    matwoolf and jannert like this.
  20. peachalulu
    Offline

    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    3,828
    Likes Received:
    2,382
    Location:
    occasionally Oz , mainly Canada
    I read most of them but I still have a few to go. The Quarrel was quite good but a lot of description. I think it might've been the most polished story in the bunch. Not many stories escaped the occasional typo or flub even the better written ones. Not that I'm a stickler for that sort of thing.

    Shi Bop
    was uniquely bizarre. Didn't quite get it but it gave me tingles for being creatively mind boggling. It's one I'd like to read again.
    Mapleberry could stand some work but it was a fun fantasy and I liked the read. One of the few stories that didn't feel like a moment preserved but an actual story.
    Ten Inches was nail biting but I kinda hoped for a different ending. Not really for sentimental reasons but rather to break my anticipation of the ending.

    So many different ideas! I honestly didn't think it would be this diverse.
    Everyone did a great job!
     
  21. 123456789
    Offline

    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,339
    Likes Received:
    3,086
    I'm saving my final thoughts for Ten Inches later, but since it's already been mentioned twice, I want to say the execution of that that story was perfect. I'm not necessarily a fan of the present person, and I'm definitely not a fan of horror, but that story, I think, achieved what it sought to accomplish perhaps more than any of the other stories- it kept me glued and horrified to the very end. Well done.


    FYI, unless specified otherwise, if I mention a story here, it means I found the technical writing to be at least good, or I probably wouldn't have finished the story.
     
  22. newjerseyrunner
    Offline

    newjerseyrunner Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
    Messages:
    285
    Likes Received:
    211
    Life, Death and The Big White bull was quite entertaining. I felt like it took me through a wide range of emotions and the drunken rambling allowed for deep plumbing into the psychology of the MC, but wasn't the least bit annoying. I thought the ending was good and acted as a nice contrast to the tone of death and cynicism in other parts of the story.
     
    jannert likes this.
  23. Viridian
    Offline

    Viridian Contributing Member Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2015
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    196
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Another one I liked - She's My Ten - it had a good pace/build up and it made me smile :) And another one with good pace was Ten Inches. I felt that girl's panic right along with her, very well written. Ending pee'd me off a bit, I really wanted someone to rescue her.

    I struggled with Only Ten because of its content. Not my cup of tea and I almost put it down, but I persevered and actually found the ending rather sad (and disturbing).

    Ten Swords was amusing, I liked that detective guy and I actually didn't see the little twist coming at the end. The end is what made the story work for me otherwise it was on the verge of being a bit too silly. Reined in nicely.
     
  24. Cave Troll
    Offline

    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    3,776
    Likes Received:
    2,402
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    Ten is such a bland thing to try and spice up. So far I haven't heard any of them being even remotely funny.
    All in all I don't really care, I know the best writer will win. :)
     
  25. A.M.P.
    Offline

    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    2,030
    Likes Received:
    1,126
    Location:
    A Place with no History
    Aw, thanks.
     
    Viridian likes this.

Share This Page