My god Felipe. That puts so much into perspective as a healthcare provider. You sound like me, in that you have to "do" in order to function in high stress situations. I'm surprised a medic didn't know better than to try to nasally intubate. I know it sounds like a cliche but I'm seriously sorry for your loss, and the way you had to endure it. It has probably made you a better provider, but none of us want to gain experience that way.
