1. Sunwriter
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    Sunwriter Member

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    What do do you think of these ideas?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Sunwriter, Nov 16, 2014.

    This story is kind of similar to "The Plague Dogs"... (I have seen the film, but have never read the book. However, I now have the book may well actually study it in my spare time).
    Warning: this story is intended to be sad. If you are particularly sensitive to stuff in which supernaturals and/or animals are abused, then, although there is only a bit of detail regarding animal experiments, you may want to give this one a miss...
    Anyhow, it starts in a laboratory that experiments on vampires. It begins with an experiment scene in which one of the main vampires is cut with a knife. At least one of the scientists then proceed to drip a chemical that is supposed to cure some kind of illness onto his flesh. The chemical proves to be toxic to him and the scientists stop and then treat the vampire in order for him to survive, to be tortured again in the future.
    The vampire is then put back into a pen-like "cell" in a dull room. However, the door to his cell is left slightly open by mistake. His friend, another vampire, notices this and tells him that they can now get out of there. After a little discussion with him, he then proceeds to climb over the fence/wall that separates them. They then leave hand the keys to "cells" out to as many other vampires as they can, before proceeding to wander through the room/s where the animals are being kept and/or the rooms in which they are experimented on. They then unlock as many cages as they can before getting to one of the lab's exits. It is here that the first vampire burns his foot in a trap that was set by the humans to stop escapades from happening.
    Because the doors were left unlocked by some "idiot", they then manage to escape out into the wilds of Dartmoor, England, where they struggle to survive as they are not yet all that streetwise and are not quite used to living the homeless life out in the wilderness.
    After a while, a cult of trouble-makers with vampire-like tendencies begin to attack people and leave two "bite" marks on the necks of their victims (presumably using knives). To add insult to injury, the vampires hunt and drink from animals and, maybe, people without killing them. Presuming that they are evil because they are vampires, the people then exaggerate things and claim that the vampires "tried to kill my kids" and tell of the vampires looking incredibly evil, far more scary than they actually are.
    To flee from the people who want to either kill them or send them back to the lab, the vampires then manage to get onto a train to Scotland, where they meet a Scottish psychic vampire* named Ciara (see-air-uh) who has been homeless before and has lived out in the wilderness for years and years. She then agrees to help them. However, there are certain points in which readers may feel that she could well betray them at some point, when it suits her.
    However, reports of there being "evil" vampires on the loose around the UK are still hot over the media (and on many people's minds). After the use of technology shows where the vampires are, the helicopters and the hunters are prepared and the chase really begins...
    Would you read a story like this? Please let me know your thoughts on this...
    Note: Please be polite when replying to this post. If I can, I may report any offensive replies that I may get here...
    Thank you. Any good replies that I may get here will mean could mean something to me, so thanks in advance.
    * By "psychic vampire", I mean one that feeds off of mental energy rather than blood. They are kind of "human, living" vampires. The term does not necessarily mean that they have psychic abilities.
     
  2. cutecat22
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    cutecat22 The Strange One Contributor

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    People tend to forgive experimentation on other people/mythical human-based beings a lot easier than on animals, any kind of animals so I would think twice about having the animal experimentation in there at all. However, everything else sounds quite intriguing.

    Couple of questions, you start of saying the vampires escape the lab and then a cult of trouble makers with vampire like tendencies - when I first read this I thought they were the same people, do you actually mean that the cult of trouble makers are actually different from the escapees? And if they are a separate group, what do they have to do with the story? or are they just a coincidence that causes Joe Public to panic and fear the escapees??
     
  3. gwrolls
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    gwrolls Member

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    I don't think that any experimentation should be left out if you thought of it originally. It'[s not as if you are promoting animal testing with it. I like the idea more than I thought I would, but I do think your vampires should feed on people so they do maintain actually being vampires.
     
  4. Some_Bloke
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    Some_Bloke Active Member

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    This sounds like a great idea, a good take on modern-day Vampires. If you really want to have Ciara come across as a character who can't be trusted my advice is to have her motivations be mysterious or at the very least questionable.

    Like the Vampires ask her why she's helping them and she never gives them a straight answer.
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I have no opinion on your ideas. I rarely have an opinion on a story idea. An idea is no more than a seed. A withered, ugly gray seed can, under the right conditions, sprout and grow into a spectacular specimen, and a shiny plump seed can fail to start or it can die of neglect.

    What matters is not the idea, it's how skillfully you can nurture and shape it into a story that grabs readers and mesmerizes them.

    So your idea is fine, if it motivates you to put in the work to develop it properly.
     

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