1. Young writer
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    Young writer New Member

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    What do you think about my story?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Young writer, Nov 2, 2014.

    Hi guys!
    My name is Anja and I come from Slovenia. I am only 16 years old and my english is not very good. I apologiese about that and I hope you will understand me.
    So now I am writing my first book. I write in 1. person, as Rachel, 25 years old woman who has no boyfriend and has just lost her job. On a wedding of her friend she meets very attractive guy and he offers her a job in England (She lives in America). She accepts it and in England starts new, perfect life - she works in a hotel, writes articles (she is journalist) and of course she fell in love. This guy used to be very successful motorcyclist and now he starts racing again. So Rachel travel around the world with him and meets a lot of famous people, but she also finds that her new boyfriend isnt so perfect as she thought he is. After few months she starts missing her old life and then in her hotel see Chuck, ex-boyfriend of her friend. She discovers that he is a criminal and her life starts being in danger...
    Ok, I know this isnt a perfect story. But I havent had a clear idea in my head yet. Until now i have only wrote first 20 pages, but I just love do it and I think that story will be very good at the end. I also think I can write quite good.
    I dont want to make a very complicated and amazing book (like Game of Thrones). I am not so gifted. I just wanna make book which will make people laugh, will be cute and relaxation. You know, just book for the beach, like Confession of a shopaholic.
    So what do you think about it? Sounds it interesting? Or is it a complete disaster? Please tell the truth.
    I hope you understand something. I must improve my english, i know.
    Thank you for all answers.
     
  2. 123456789
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    123456789 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I see what you're going for. Doesn't sound like any centralized themes, at least nothing too dense. You got a normal girl in her mid twenties, not much going on. She winds up in Europe dealing with some dangerous adventures. You're from Slovenia so I take it you can write about Europe. Sounds fine. Keep it light and fast paced and I can't see why you won't have a beach book.
     
  3. Young writer
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    Young writer New Member

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    I am glad you understand me. Thank you so much for your answer.
     
  4. Nightstar99
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    Nightstar99 Contributing Member

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    Are you writing this in English or Slovenian?
     
  5. Young writer
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    Young writer New Member

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    In Slovenian. My englsih is not good enough and I really think that you can express your emotions just in your mother language. But I use english names and places because people in Slovenia dont like read about their country . It is quite annoying if you have to read book where is main character call Jelka or Janez. And I have dream that one day will be my book translate in English. I know I dont have a lot of chances for that but I still hope :)
     
  6. Vandor76
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    Vandor76 Contributing Member

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    Hi neighbour :) Your English is better than mine was when I was 16 and I tell you that your question was fully understandable :)

    So losing her job and the offer from the former-motorist alpha guy is the motivation for her to move to England. Seems to be OK and promising.

    This part sounds to be boring if it lasts too long, so keep it short. Readers want conflict, action and drama.
    (I'm not your target audience so my comments may not make sense)

    Do you plan to make her leave this guy and loose her new job as a result? Or will he change? (I don't think a man could change)
    I ask because you didn't mention how you would progress from here.

    I think you need to decide if you want to write a romance, or crime fiction. I won't add this discovery to the middle part of the story. If it is the main conflict then start it early, if not then later near to the end.

    Your story sounds promising but before you think that is enough to write a good book I would like to invite you to read Cogito's great post here :
    http://www.writingforums.org/threads/what-is-plot-creation-and-development.10677/
     
  7. Young writer
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    Young writer New Member

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    Hi neighbour :)!
    Thank you so much for your answer. Mabey part in which she travel with him sounds boring, but it wont be. She will discover a lot of things about his future and there will be lot of drama and action :).
    Yes I know I should decide if I want have a romantic story or criminal. I want both (like in Desperate housewives - secrets, love, friendship and criminal). But I am not good enough (yet) to mix all this stuff in perfect story. I am afraid that it will become boring and without sense.
    And thank you for the link - it is very usefull.
     
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  8. aeustin
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    aeustin New Member

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    You've got to also remember to have a well developed antagonist, whether it be the criminal or something else.
     
  9. Young writer
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    Young writer New Member

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    Sure, aeustin I will try to do it, it is very important, thanks :)
     

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