1. Pythonforger
    Offline

    Pythonforger Carrier of Insanity

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2010
    Messages:
    405
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Amongst the Mortals

    What do you think of my plot?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Pythonforger, Feb 8, 2011.

    Here's the basic story.

    Out of all the people on planet Earth, one person has the power to control energy, breaking all the rules about energy cannot be created or destroyed and stuff like that. The only problem is he's a 12 year old boy... who doesn't know about his power. So Solar Faction(the people who want to protect and train him) sends out agents to look for him. One of the agents finds him and Awakens him, meaning he unlocks the portion of the boy, James', brain that contains all the information about his power. But then James gets excited and blatantly uses his power, allowing Lunar Faction(the people who thinks he's too dangerous to keep alive) to know about it. Lunar decides to send their best agent after him, Krow. Krow believes in Lunar, but he also has his own reason to try and kill James.

    Krow has his weapon, the Soul Shooter. It absorbs the soul of the last person it killed and gains abilities based on that soul(flaming bullets, triple shot etc). Krow thinks that if the Soul Shooter kills James, he will have a lot of power. This seems a minor detail at first but is important at the end(plot twist).
     
  2. Top Cat
    Offline

    Top Cat Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    England
    Well, your plot is just that - very plotty. It's exciting, I suppose - but what's the emotional story? Why do we feel for the characters and what is their journey internally, as well externally? :D

    I can tell you're a male writer :redface: - I just think your plot needs to be more indicative of emotion and a character motivation = which is gonna come from your character's need and goal. :cool:
     
  3. FictionAddict
    Offline

    FictionAddict Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2011
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    I'm from Holland
    Agreed. The Soul Sooter is awesome :D, the idea of a boy with great power yet to be discovered can lead to a series of twists and turns that will keep the reader's interest, and the thing about handling energy is cool too. Just work on the relationships between your characters to create depth and you'll be fine.
     
  4. Broken Essence
    Offline

    Broken Essence Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    It sounds like it could be a pretty cool story. Seems like a good plot.
    The only thing is that how old is this Crow guy that plans to kill the kid? I'm thinking he's probably an adult right? So, I think the kid should have a mentor who is also an adult that is with him all the time, helping protect him against Crow. The mentor should also help the kid grow emotionally and understand the importance of his powers and help him become more mature.
     
  5. Leonardo Pisano
    Offline

    Leonardo Pisano Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    453
    Likes Received:
    13
    Give the boy a flaw

    This kind of stories are not my cup of tea, so i cannot really comment something sensible. But consider giving the boy a flaw, like he is autistic, or he stutters, or something. Now if the soul shooter kills him the flaw will also be inherited. This gives the boy protection, as nobody wants to inherit the flaw.

    Just my two cents. HTH.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Honorius
    Offline

    Honorius Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    1,449
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Thebes
    Just off the top of my head, Krow's soul shooter made me think of a traditional side scrolling shooter. :D

    Anyway, I think the plot has potential, but you absolutely must use character development. Emotions, goals, fears and loves. Without some kind of emotional element, your story will suffer from flat characters and lazy characterization. You may already have all of that, but I like to remind people. Other than that though, your plot is interesting.

    I am noticing a motif of young men and women being Awakened (that same phrase too) to unlock great power...

    Might be just me. I don't know.
     
  7. Anonym
    Offline

    Anonym Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2010
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    10
    The inexplicable chosen one thing always irks me a bit (why him?) but otherwise it seems like it could have a lot of potential for suspense, action, intrigue, ect, as long as - like others have said - the characters are relatable & reasonably complex. I have a lot of trouble relating to or getting in the head of young teenagers but that's just me.
    Does sound pretty interesting & fitting within the realm of sci-fi fantasy, if not a tad trite.

    Also, memory as far as I know is a eletrochemical process more than a physical part of the brain, so the unlocking the brain thing seems a bit far-fetched to me, but that's just my opinion as a pedantic psych major. I doubt your target audience would notice.

    Sounds good. Onward, to writing!
     
  8. minstrel
    Offline

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    8,724
    Likes Received:
    4,821
    Location:
    Near Los Angeles
    Who is the protagonist? Is it the boy, James? Is it the Lunar agent? Is it the Solar agent? Is it someone else?

    No one can tell how good or bad your plot is until you WRITE it. The same plot in a bad writer's hands will turn out badly. In a good writer's hands, it will be good.
     
  9. lelanddupuy24
    Offline

    lelanddupuy24 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    more cleavage. more explosions. fully automatic weapons fired from the hip, instead of the normal stance pressed against the shoulder... kidding aside, what type of energy? kinetic energy? radioactive energy? electromagnetic energy?

    maybe change the reason the group wants to kill him to something along the lines of a multinational energy and oil cartel wanting to keep their system in place so that they keep making money without competition from some kid who may or may not have an infinite amount of free energy that doesn't do damage to the planet? maybe have the guy sent to kill him realize that maybe he should protect him instead, and have that set up a relationship dynamic similar to han solo and leia from star wars?
     

Share This Page