Ok, so this is my favorite plot in my head so far. Sorry for the wall of text! Let me describe a bit of the self made setting first. There's a large number of relatively small nations - think like a Risk map - who are all joined under a loose agreement to protect each other from each other. If one nation invades another, the other nearby nations are expected to leap to the invaded country's defense, and must maintain a standing army to do so. The technological level is medieval, and the political systems are mostly feudal monarchies. Because the countries have these large armies sitting around, almost all of them break them apart to patrol their borders, which leads to a lot of skirmishes but little real change. Despite these little conflicts, the monarchs and their staff maintain good relations with their mirrors in the other nations. Secondly, character list (only those plot relevant). Dastoen, High General of Sunderia and main character; Deinos, the master assassin of Sunderia; [name pending], High General of Torsani and Dastoen's love interest; Matthias, King of Sunderia; Vondar, High General of Thernoplay; and finally Caniin, High General of Medonite. High General just means they have overall command of that country's armed forces, just to be clear. Now, to the actual plot. One nation, Sunderia, hosts a grand celebration to celebrate the coming of a new year, and royalty, generals and other such important figures from many nearby nations are in attendance. This is where the story starts, with our main character Dastoen. Shortly afterwards Sunderia starts coming under attack from one of her neighbours - Torsani. Torsani, however, also reports being under attack from Sunderia, and because of this confusion of 'he said, she said' the other nations decide to hold back their forces from helping either party. Dastoen didn't order any soldiers to attack Torsani and he is less than pleased at the accusations that he had, so he decides to get to the bottom of this, regardless of how flirty [name pending] was at that celebration. He takes a sizable force of warriors and marches his way into Torsani until he finds [name pending]. There's an quick and intense clash as Dastoen's and [name pending]'s forces meet, but he loses, granting [name pending] a pyrrhic victory. Among the losses are [name pending]'s father, because hey, emotional trouble equals drama and character development! She almost chops his head off as a result, but she needs answers too because she hasn't been sending anyone to attack Sunderia either. Eventually they come to the conclusion that if they aren't sending troops at each other (at least until Dastoen went and marched into Torsani), then it must be another nation or pair of nations. They discover together that the Medonite and Thernoplay generals are behind it, gather proof to present to the other nations, and proceed to use their combined strategic brilliance to declare and win very short wars on those two nations. This conquering is helped by the fact that both Vondar and Caniin have been mysteriously assassinated, causing confusion in their armies. Most of all of that is them forging a relationship and Dastoen earning [name pending]'s forgiveness, as well as characterizing Deinos. There's much rejoicing! The conflict is settled, Torsani and Sunderia have expanded to become more powerful, the main characters realize they have become true companions, except for one last scene. Dastoen reveals to [name pending] that he had set up the whole thing from the start. He had had Deinos talk Vondar and Caniin into disguising their troops as belonging to Torsani and Sunderia, saying each would be given accolades and pieces of formerly Torsani land. When they agreed and carried it out, he had gone to [name pending] to clear things up, knowing that once the actions of Medonite and Thernoplay were revealed the other nations would be disgusted and give Sunderia and Torsani clearance to counter-invade. Deinos would kill Vondar and Caniin, ensuring they never spoke or revealed their involvement, and Deinos himself couldn't blame the plot on Dastoen, who had given him no evidence to do so with. [Name pending] feels betrayed when Dastoen reveals this, but she too has no evidence, so simply leaves, extremely upset. Wooh, ok. That's all. Thank you, anyone who reads, and I do appreciate any comments and criticism ^.^
Hi DA Thirst, and welcome to the forum Yes, that's quite a lot to take. Is there something specific about your story you are uncertain of, whether or not it makes sense, etc.? Might yield more replies because as it stands now, it's quite difficult to say much else except okay, seems fine, so why don't you just write it?
Not particularly, I'm pretty pleased with it right now. I simply want to ensure there was nothing inherently wrong with the plot, or whether it was too complex/too simple.
