1. Ocean
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    Ocean New Member

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    What is this writing style called...

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Ocean, May 2, 2015.

    When someone writes sentences like these:
    - I can offer, if I'm available, a helping hand.
    - It will, however, still benefit you.
    - He turned left, if I remember correctly, on reaching the first junction.

    Notice how the sentences are interrupted which I find really annoying. What is this writing style called? Thank you
     
  2. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    There's no name for this particular style of writing, but what you have are examples of non-essential clauses being set off by commas.
     
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  3. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    I think that, rather than non-essential clauses, what you have here are interjections.
    As in:
    I think that what you have here are interjections rather than non-essential clauses.

    And, yes, it would be a very irritating mannerism to be subjected to for any length.

    But you could use it to characterise one of your, for want of a better word, characters. We all know somebody who, no matter what the situation, will interject some excess verbiage simply, or so it would seem, to increase their word count.
     
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  4. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I actually had the misfortune of buying an entire novel written in this manner. I seriously don't think anyone bothered to edit this book.

    Examples from the book "May Bride" by Suzannah Dunn:

    "Not that I much cared, emboldened as I was by having an ally, which was how, in a matter of mere days, I'd come to see Katherine."

    "Not that he'd have minded, probably, if I had, and that was if he'd even noticed, which he almost certainly wouldn't have."

    "Not that I'd have said it to his face, but, then, I didn't say much at all to him, didn't care, was hopelessly shy of him."

    "I didn't care what he'd read in the books at Oxford, nor was I properly conscious, then, of how unusual were his ideas about the lives of ordinary people."​

    All taken straight from the book, I kid you not. And this is on every single page with nearly every sentence.

    Kill me. Kill me now.
     
  5. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I'd suggest the OP doesn't do that. The post I wrote with quotes from the book May Bride - that's in first person narrative, so it is probably a trait of the character. And no, I've stopped reading that book :superagree:
     
  6. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the sentences the OP has given us. But used over and over ...urgh! Any sentence structure that repeats itself too often is a mistake, no matter how grammatical it might be.

    @Mckk's example is hilarious!

    That is the sort of thing a good edit will catch. Or SHOULD have caught! Yikes! :eek: Maybe she just ran a spellchecker over the thing, then rushed to self-publish?

    ...........

    Nope. Just checked. It's been 'traditionally published' by Abacus. Lord. Why do we try?
     
  7. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Why indeed lol. Unfortunately it's traditionally published - found it in a bookstore!!! :bigmeh:

    ETA: just found the most hilarious line of dialogue in the book! Here it is!

    "But, but, but... But then you'd... And what if...? And I'd..."
    I typed it out word for word, I kid you not.

    Why did I spend £8 on this!!!?
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2015
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  8. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    My point was that it's a technique you could use to identify one character by their use of an irritating way of speaking using constant interjection.
     
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  9. Ocean
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    Ocean New Member

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    Thank you so much for your replies. My reading comprehension may be lacking which is why I find it difficult to follow sentences written in this manner. Sometimes I have to reread them just to keep up. I don't mind the occasional few, but too many interjections can ruin the experience for me.

    I'm glad that some of you share my sentiment. Thank you again.
     
  10. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Did you read it at all before purchasing? :D But hey, it's characterized as masterful, so maybe that's how you do it? ;)
     
  11. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I did, but only the first few pages - but the sentences didn't irk me till about a chapter later :cry:
     
  12. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    How odd - all the sentences have the same style and the same theme - something to do with not caring/not minding. It's as if her mind grabbed for the same style of sentence when that expression arose. I wonder if I do that?
     
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  13. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I hadn't noticed that, but you're right. That's kinda interesting!

    But I assure you, other sentences were just as bad... lol
     
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  14. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Have any of you read Henry James? Because Henry James. Jeeziiz.
     
  15. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Funny, I just had one of these sentences in my book and my son complained until I took it out.

    But that, [blah blah blah], that made no sense.
    I thought it added emphasis but he suggested I just get rid of it so I did.


     
  16. Aaron DC
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    Aaron DC Contributing Member

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    Can I suggest, "continuous interruptus"?

    ;)

    I mean...

    I can offer, "continuous interruptus", if you like?
     
  17. Selbbin
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    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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    Lol. In that case, you're gonna hate my book.
     
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  18. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I don't think so. You've already passed the readership test, in your latest workshop offering. You make odd sentence construction and interjection work—in a fascinating way. It's not authorial voice you use, it's the voice of your character, which is compelling and immediate. Maybe that's the difference.
     

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